Michael's Heart

Dreams - We All Grow Wings

2012-01-28T20:30:00.000-08:00

“Those are moments when fate is unsealed. Nothing is impossible, we can soar, we can fly, walk on fire, navigate the sky” ~ Michael Joseph Jackson

“When all life is seen as divine, we all grow wings.” ~ Michael Joseph Jackson

I will forever be counting backwards from June 25, 2009 the day my life changed forever. I never met Michael or attended a concert which I deeply regret. Maybe this is the motivating factor that pushes me to all things Michael. I simply can’t get enough Michael Jackson. An overwhelming need to be where he once was fills my days, a force pushing me to strive to be closer to him in whatever way possible even though he is gone. At first the grief over Michael’s loss was so devastating and unrecognizable for me I simply didn’t understand what was happening to me. How do you explain to your family that your heart is shattered and your life has come to a complete halt over the loss of someone you don’t even know and have never met? I couldn’t explain because like millions of other MJ fans I didn’t understand it myself. All I knew is my heart was broken, simply shattered, my life’s axis forever altered, never to be the same.

God knew what I felt. God saw my heart and touched my life in those months following MJ’s death. My mind became filled with words. I had not written in many, many years and such overwhelming sorrow for Michael resulted in words filling my mind non stop pouring out from my broken heart. I simply had to write... write about Michael. I felt the Lord leading me to go places where Michael went. I watched online as thousands of people who felt just as I did also poured out their broken hearts and my heart broke with them and for them because they were so far away from where Michael lived here in Southern California. At least I had that. I could visit Forest Lawn, Hayvenhurst to drop off flowers, Carolwood, the MJ Hollywood Star and many more MJ places and feel some sort of connection to Michael. I felt an urging a prodding from the Lord as if to tell me I must go and walk in Michael’s footsteps and write about my Michael adventures so that others could also feel closer to Michael. I felt maybe in some tiny way possibly this would help bring a bit of healing to a few of the broken hearted. Consumed by grief with no idea of what to expect or what was in store I could never have imagined in a million years how my life would change with the decision to step out and follow the Lord’s leading. Michael’s compassionate touch brought healing and joy to so many people when he walked this earth. For me even in death Michael still continued to touch my life and change me. It’s been a long road in the grieving process for myself and millions of others around the world and I have been privileged to watch as so many have taken steps to heal and grow through this process.

I could never have believed my life would be filled with so many wonderful and amazing people since Michael’s death. All I wanted to do was to feel Michael in my heart and erase the pain of missing him. A true analogy for me since Michael’s death is a butterfly coming out a cocoon. For many years I lived a shell shocked life wrapped securely in a church cocoon, protected, licking my wounds, shut off from the outside world healing from a deeply massive pain caused by the devastation of abuse in my life. I really felt I could not go on living at times the emotional pain was so great but God had other ideas for me. I struggled through life and spent every moment I could in church as it was the only place where the pain lifted. I had grown so much and healed so much. Then Michael Jackson died. An overwhelming feeling of devastation inexplicably hit me. A tsunami of grief I could not control took over my life. I was in the process of reading ‘The Shack’ when Michael died. An amazing book which deals with the unfathomable pain of a father helplessly watching as his little girl gets kidnapped and then is later found horrifically murdered by the abductor. Not surprisingly the emotional pain had ended the father’s life as he once knew it. Not to compare that horrific experience to mine but he too like me was no longer living but just existing surrounded daily by a dull shell of pain. A war shocked victim of this cruel world. Then God stepped in took over and healed him. I could relate this pain to Michael and all he experienced on this earth. This book is so beautifully visually descriptive and teaches of a God who deeply LOVES all people on this planet beyond measure. New realms of thinking had opened for me, completely different ways of looking at the Trinity and God as my source and loving Father. Then... Michael Jackson died and I put the book down unable to finish it... unable to continue... but then everything in my life came to an abrupt halt when Michael died. The world as I knew it ended when Michael died. Looking back with 20/20 hind site I now realize my good and loving Father God prepared me for Michael’s death with this book. Prepared me for the incredible changes that he wanted to bring and mold into my life.

There have been times when other MJ fans have shared dreaming about Michael. They share their dreams and I am amazed and I have to say although happy for them and enthralled by some of the dreams they share I feel a bit jealous because when Michael died all my dreams stopped. The only dreams I have had since his death are a few nightmares about work...Ugh! I won’t go there and another dream I had after praying, “God please give me a dream about Michael.” I had this dream only a few days after praying this prayer and woke up wondering “What? Why Lord after no dreams for soooo long then I have a dream about my boss?” A boss who in my large company would not know me from Adam. Nice guy but another Huh?... UGH! Then I realized his name... yup you got it “Michael.” Yes God has a sense of humor. Reminding me yet once again you must be very specific in your prayers. So I prayed specifically for dreams about Michael Joseph Jackson the King of Pop, "Any kind of dream but please make it about Michael Jackson, Lord.” Yet still no dreams... after all this time still no dreams.

You may be wondering what this all has to do with my Michael journeys... well last night I was so thrilled and blessed to be attending yet again for the third time the Michael Jackson Immortal Cirque du Soleil, Los Angeles premier. I found myself once again in awe of how Michael and God have changed my life as I looked at my good friend Robyn saying, “Can you believe this night?” Suddenly I became acutely aware that in many ways even though I don’t dream my life has been touched incredibly by Michael and I am now living my dreams.

I bought my ticket to the MJ Cirque Immortal show in October 2010 not long after the first announcement was made that they were available early for MJ fans. I had to wait over a year for that show but I didn’t care. I had my ticket. I clicked and clicked looking at the best seating for the Staples Center until I found the seats I wanted with the very best view middle stage in the loge section left, for the price I could afford. I found them and thought they were just perfect. Then amazingly in September of 2011 I was invited via Bonnie and MJ-Upbeat to Montreal to view one of the last rehearsals of the Immortal show before it’s big premier in Montreal. No I wasn’t dreaming... this was real life. I flew to Montreal by invitation of the Michael Jackson Estate and saw the show with 13 other fans and sat almost exactly in the same spot where I had purchased tickets for the future show in Los Angeles, January of 2012. John Branca had remarked to us that the location of the seats we were in to view the rehearsal in Canada afforded the absolute best view in the house of the show. I had to agree and was simply ecstatic to know I had almost the exact same seat location for L.A. in 2012.

Friday, January 27, 2012 finally arrived and last night I attended that show. Excited like a kid at Christmas I couldn’t wait to get there. My dear friend Robyn attended with me. We found our seats and found many other fans we knew were also there. It was like a huge MJ party. We waved from across the stadium to our friend Debra who drove in with us as her seat was separate from ours bought at a different time. Another friend from Italy found us and we reconnected. It seemed everywhere we looked we saw beloved MJ fan-amily. Another MJ friend who had just danced in the Thrill the World Flash mob approached and was surprised to find familiar faces as she took her seat next to me on the end of the row. Then as were waiting for the show to start we happily sat talking about Michael and recent MJ events when I was surprised to see John Branca walking up the stairs where we were seated and sit down just on the opposite side of us. Not long afterwards the members of his team all came in and sat down directly across the isle. Now a days I am a celeb watcher at these type events, so I had my binoculars out perusing the crowd for both MJ fan friends and celebs. We were told by excited MJ friends that Usher was in attendance and looking really fine in a blue suit and that Tito and Jackie Jackson were also there, as well as Michael’s children and Katherine. The front row end stage seats were empty so we were curious and hopeful to see if the children would be seated there just like in Las Vegas. Then all those seats filled up but not with the children and Katherine. Also there was no sign of Tito and Jackie. Then as I looked through my binoculars Tito and Jackie's faces suddenly loomed VERY large through my binocular lenses... in fact they were right in front of me and along with them was Jackie's son Siggy and Chris Tucker and his son. I laughed and commented, “Well I sure don’t need binoculars at Staples” and quickly stashed them in my purse. We all curiously watched to see where they would be seated. I joked with Robyn and those around me “Wouldn’t it be funny if they sat right here in our row?” The man in front of me cynically chuckled, “Yeah and Chris Tucker can sit right here” as he nodded to the two empty seats next to him and directly in front of me. We all chuckled about it and then simultaneously our eyes grew bigger and bigger as Chris Tucker and his beautiful son, as well as Jackie, Tito and Siggy Jackson and their girl friends all walked up the isle towards us. Chris Tucker and his gorgeous little boy taking the seats right in front of me that the man had just nodded to. The man smiled at me with an incredulous look of complete disbelief and I looked back at him sharing the same astonished look. Then first Siggy, then Jackie and his girlfriend and then Tito’s fiance and Tito all walked in front of us in our row and over to their seats. The ladies were just beautiful. Those handsome Jackson men certainly do attract some gorgeous women. They weren’t seated long before I couldn't resist saying hello to Tito and asked, "I hope you don't mind if I scream. I get rather loud at the Immortal show." He smiled and said, “No not at all. Go a head and enjoy yourself” which only triggered the Jackson song "Enjoy Yourself" in my mind. I smiled and resisted reminding him of his own song. I wasn’t sure if he was being polite or not but I simply couldn’t contain my rapturous joy as I was unable to stay in my seat hopping up several times to clap and whoo hoo. Even with all the celebs around I just had to be me and danced in my seat, clapped, laughed, waved my arms, sang along and cried. At one point in the show I yelled out "Michael we miss you! Michael we LOVE you!" I think I might have scared Chris Tucker a bit but then again I think he knew exactly how I felt. It just had to be said in the house where Michael last practiced, in the house where Michael's memorial took place. It just had to be said. It was an emotional roller coaster ride the entire night. Chris Tucker was rockin’ out to MJ’s music in his seat in front of me and singing along so I wasn’t alone. Robyn and all those around me also were dancing at their seats. Others around me also jumped to their feet once and awhile and by the end of the show the band had gotten the entire arena to their feet clapping and enjoying Michael’s Cirque show.

When first seated before anyone had arrived we met two cute young girls from Canada who were sitting behind us as we talked about the show and the MJ hand and footprint ceremony on Hollywood Blvd. the day before and they were already fascinated and wanting to know more about our MJ fan activities saying, “You lead such interesting lives. We love Michael Jackson but we don’t ever get to do anything like that.” Then when they saw Tito and Jackie Jackson and Chris Tucker come and sit down I turned around to them and mouthed the words “Oh My God!” Wide eyed they looked like two fawns caught in headlights. I was smiling and grinning from ear to ear seeing their priceless expressions. Yes this is my life. I don’t need to dream. They later said it perfectly “I think I’m in a dream. Is this really happening?” I said “Yes and I have asked myself that same question many times over the last year or so.”

Across the isle from me was, Jeff who I had met in Montreal. He heads up the MJ Online Team for the Estate. He was surprised to see me when I waved at him to say hello and laughed, “You two again? You are everywhere!” I laughed as I retorted, “Well there’s no way I’d miss the Immortal show in my own home town. I bought my tickets over a year ago.” We exchanged some fun conversation as I joked, “I didn’t realize I’d be sitting in the VIP section.”

Then I just sat there drinking in the joy. God is always treating me to the most delightful things. He perfectly knows the little things that bring me great joy. Anything Michael of course. My affordable seats which I had scrimped to pay for were ‘good seats with a great view of the show’ now suddenly became 'VIP seats with celebs and a great view of the show.' Ironically I had just prayed the same day about stepping back from the MJ fan life for a while to concentrate on ‘me’ as I had lost my temper with a fan, be-lie-ver, just the day before at the hand and footprint ceremony. I had just told God I didn’t want to be that person. Michael is about LOVE and the LORD is about LOVE and I don’t want to be that person who rips someone’s head off because they are sick or sadly mixed up. My patience for those who believe Michael is alive or living somewhere in some warehouse as a slave music maker for Sony is just plain gone. Yet still I don’t want to be a person that hurts others. I keep my distance from them but don't like to lash out. So I was telling God maybe it’s time for me to step back and if so give me a sign. This thought was still in my mind when I heard my name called and turned to hear, “Betty, I want you to meet someone.” I turn around, look up and see Siedah Garrett looking back at me. Unbelievable! Of course I squealed like a crazy fan... something I always tell myself I’ll never do and tell her how much I love her and admire her and gush on and on. Thankfully I got out something intelligent about how wonderful her new project is. She gives me a hug and thanks me and then returns to her seat. The gentleman with her was smiling at me really big so maybe I wasn’t too far over the top... hopefully. I have never been the star struck type until Michael died and now... well I admit it... the previous words tell you how I’ve changed; however these people are so special. They worked with Michael. They knew, respected and still LOVE Michael. Now I could probably meet any other celeb and it just would not be the same. I’d be impressed and I’d just say, “Hello and nice to meet you” and go on about my business unfazed but these people are special uber talented, beautiful people Michael chose to work with. That says it all. Michael chose them.

The show begins and although I am a star struck fool it is not at all hard to focus on the show. The main character, a mime dancer, Salah from France which I feel Michael would have so enjoyed takes us on a journey through Michael's genius. Salah’s amazing abilities and talent are showcased throughout Immortal, here at the very start he begins interacting with the audience. My heart skips a beat and tears come when the Neverland gates and bronze statues come to life before my eyes. The band is spectacularly, “kick ass” amazing. There are changes in the show from the very first moment which make it feel like I am watching a completely different show. Later as we talk to Stephane Mongeau, Executive Producer of the MJIWT Cirque du Soleil, we compare the ever evolving Cirque way of perfection to Michael’s perfection and his now iconic This Is It phrase, “Let it simmer.” Daring aerobatics have been added and amaze. Stunning backdrop curtain effects make each act bigger than life. Then the most surreal moment happens as the Jackson 5 music plays and I just simply can’t resist a big smile as I look down the row at Tito and Jackie to my right. They smile back at me... now that is an awesome memory. The show is simply spectacular. The music is of course electric and Michael’s beautiful voice moves me to tears more than once. The show ends with everyone on their feet giving a thunderous applause and cheers for each cast member. This was the most magnificent tribute to Michael in the very house where he last practiced before his death. As Michael's drummer Jonathan Moffett, Sugar Foot, phrased it this morning: Last Night, "The Immortal", "M.J.'s Return" INVADED Staples Center and "Took Hollywood and L.A. by STORM" and it was 'ELECTRIC'!!!

I was completely taken off guard and gob smacked when I was told during intermission I was invited back stage after the show. Immediately following the last applause we stood from our seats and began to move across the main floor to the back entrance of the arena where we met the Cirque cast, directors, producer and the band. Steve Perry from Journey was there as a guest. Chris Tucker was now mingling as were Jackie, Tito and Siggy and their group.

I had met Greg Phillinganes in Montreal with the other fans but this night I also met his beautiful girlfriend, Jory Steinberg, who is also a sensational singer in the show. She was wearing a stunning Swarovski crystal chain and lace out fit from the show. When I first saw Jonathan Moffett I gleefully yelled out "Sugar Foot!!" Although he smiled and seemed to like hearing "Sugar Foot" I felt a little embarrassed to say the personal name which Michael used to call him having never met him before, so then called him Jonathan instead. He was gracious and kind and posed for a picture with me while still holding his drum sticks and before going to change. Travis Payne who I met as a fan in Las Vegas I teased again about his jacket as he wears the most gorgeous jackets. He was gracious and kind as always. The extremely hot and incredibly talented Cellist, Tina Guo, was also very humble, sweet and kind and it was such a pleasure to talk to her. So many from the incredible Cirque du Soleil cast were present and everywhere were their familiar faces. I was thrilled to be able to thank the lead dancer, Salah for his incredible, stunning, moving and inspirational performance. One cast member I so wanted to meet was Cameron McKinlay, a French one leg dancer from Canada, originally from Vietnam. His performance never fails to amaze and inspire. I managed to get a picture of Cameron and beautiful Shantal Tremblay, Director of Creation. All these talented genuinely gifted performers bring so much of Michael’s heart and drive for precision to this fantastic show. The LOVE they have for Michael is so evident as we talked to several of them a heartfelt look of admiration and respect for Michael glows on their faces as they respectfully pat their chests over their hearts as we thank them for honoring Michael’s legacy. Although I felt out of place in my comfy, bull dog sweats I normally always wear. It was simply surreal to be so close to so many extremely talented people.

It was a night of amazing and special memories... yet another incredible night to add to the list of dreams I have lived since Michael’s death. That being said ultimately I’d give up all of these wonderful experiences in a heart beat to have Michael Jackson back on this earth again with his family. I have come to accept that Michael has found his forever bliss in heaven. This night was a magical and beautiful celebration of Michael's amazing legacy, his genius, music and LOVE which he generously shared with this world.

God knows the desires of our hearts and is only too happy to fulfill those desires. Thank you God for the gift last night of a very blessed and magical Cirque du Soleil and thank you to Jeff and the Estate for your kindness and generosity on such a special night.

... and I'm so very sorry Chris Tucker and Tito for Woo Hooing so loudly in your ears.

“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

Jonathan Moffett "Sugar Foot" commented the following on his Face Book Page after Saturday night's show. Jonathan, thank you for being such a loyal and loving friend to Michael For All Time. You are an honorable and wonderful person. God bless you Sugar Foot!

Jonathan Phillip Moffett

Staple Center, The Building of "Bittersweet" for me. For 'This', is where I am Now Performing our 'Astounding' Show presentation of the Tribute Show and Tour, Cirque Du Soleil Michael Jackson "The Immortal" with performances last and Friday nights. And "That, Is the Sweet." But also, for me, Personally, This building holds significance in a greater, more darkened way. For it is the place where 'Last' I Saw and was With Beloved Michael. Rehearsing for the now ill fated World Tour "This Is It" on the day and night of June 24th, 2009. The place, also, where I had to play, and perform at the services televised of his public funeral, while he lay there. And 'This Evening' Still, I'll be there once again for our 3rd and final show of L.A. dates. It will be a Good Day, A Good Day Indeed. But a Bad Day as well. 'Good' as Another Day to Celebrate his life and legacy to Honor him in a Positive Way. To bring the public together 'All As One' as he wished and tried to do in his life and time World Round And he 'DID'!!! But a Bad Day as I will once again, face the inner visions of that Other Last Day which haunts and has haunted my memory for the past 2 days walking the backstage halls and tunnels ways of the Final place. Of the time and the dreadful Day, of the Dreadful news I came to find were Really True when I arrived there. But, I am Resilient and I am Strong now. And I am Determined, to mask the Dreadful, with the Wonderful Light', this show and tour Celebrates his life and deeds in. So I shall focus on the positive, and Overshadow the Negative. I will "Turn On The Lights" in my mind to Drown Out the Darkness of the bitter day. I will Perform, as I've Always performed in his presence for the 'Greatest of Perfection' as he always did. "I Will Perform for Him, . . . . . Michael, . . . My Friend, . . . . The Jackson, and Once Again, strive to find his grace upon My Work, he put faith in me in....."_ "Look Down My Friend, . . . . AND 'STILL Find', . . . . . . . "You Are Not Alone, . . . . I Am Here With You, . . . . Though You're Far Away, . . . . I Am Here To Stay, . . . . You Are Not Alone, . . . . I Am Here With You, . . . . Though We're Far Apart, . . . . You're ALWAYS In My Heart, . . . . And 'Tonight', You Are Not Alone........"_

Much Love and Peace I leave you All my friends.
Jonathan_

A Mother's LOVE - Mrs. Katherine Jackson

2012-01-08T02:13:00.001-08:00

It wasn't too long after Michael died as fans were collectively grieving around the world and connecting in a way never before seen on this planet via the internet, sharing their grief and broken hearts over loosing Michael that my dear friend, Bonnie Lamrock, from MJ-Upbeat asked the MJ fans who visit her beautiful website to share notes, letters, poems or writings expressing their hearts for Mrs. Jackson. MJ-Upbeat was my lifeline in a sea of grief and I felt so honored when Bonnie posted my writing next to so many other fan's contributions for Mrs. Jackson. All the writings were then lovingly put into a book by an MJ-Upbeat MJ fan, Sheril, for Mrs Jackson which I was then honored to deliver to Hayvenhurst on behalf of MJ-Upbeat, Bonnie and the fans.

https://www.mj-upbeat.com/Mrs.KatherineJacksonsBookDeliverybyBettyByrnes.htm

When Bonnie first asked for contributions for Mrs. Jackson's book I remember thinking there was just simply no way to put into words how I felt at the time knowing her heart was so shattered. What do you possibly say to someone who has lost their child especially the mother of Michael Jackson? I simply had no words, every time I sat down to write the words just seemed to get stuck in the caverns of my own broken heart. Then I went to church, prayed about what to write and felt the Lord tell me, "Just write what's in your heart... set your pain aside and write from your heart." Then the words came pouring out. I am not a poet... never have been. That is not how words come to me. God gave me the words that day and I feel the very same today. I felt my writing was so inadequate for what I really wanted to express especially next to so many who write so wonderfully, but sent them to Bonnie anyway. I was absolutely amazed when a lady at work told me she had Googled me and found my note to Katherine. Then even more shocked when she said she had read my contribution to Katherine and it made her cry. She is not an MJ fan so it was even more poignant for me. I felt blessed that I was able to share with someone in the world the LOVE I feel for Michael and the gratitude and respect I feel toward Mrs. Jackson.

Now again over two years later there seems to be a shameful, unbelievable attack of disrespect from some misguided MJ fans towards Michael's mother, Katherine Jackson. So I deeply feel its very necessary to speak my heart again.

I just want to publically thank and acknowledge her and express my LOVE and gratitude.

God bless you Mrs. Katherine Jackson.

Thank you for sharing your gifted son with us, with the world.

Thank you for caring for and loving Michael's children.

Below is my contribution to Mrs. Jackson's book just as it is still posted on the
MJ-Upbeat website as well as the link to the original.
There are many, many beautiful writings much better than mine on Bonnie's website.
Please visit and read them. Be blessed by them

https://www.mj-upbeat.com/ToMrs.KatherineJacksonFromBettyByrnes.htm

November 14, 2009 To Mrs. Katherine Jackson From Betty Byrnes

Perfection

You were there....
When God filled Michael’s little body, as he kicked in your womb, did you feel him dancing?
You saw his first beautiful, radiant smile and heard his first sweet angelic laugh.
Your ears heard the first time his sweet crescendo rose, filling the house.
You witnessed his first dance steps as he grooved to the sound of the washing machine.
Did you marvel to see his first audience clap for him at the laundry mat as he danced and sang?
You woke him for late night TV shows and sat with him watching his idol James Brown.
You were with him and your hearts broke together as you both sat watching and crying for the dying children in Africa on TV, you were the one he turned to and promised
“I will do something about that someday.”
Oh how he DID!

You carried his life within your heart and upon your shoulders as you walked along side him through joyful times and oh so very difficult times.
You were his beacon in the night, his comfort, his shelter, his lifter of spirits, his rock.

A Mother’s love...
He loved you beyond measure...no others could come close to his esteem for you.
No other could ever hold a candle to the bright, shining love he carried in his heart for you.
He emulated your love for him as he reached out to heal the world with empathy and compassion.
God filled him with a tender, sensitive, sweet, caring, giving spirit.
God instilled the most intelligent, creative, genius and musicality.
Of all the women in the universe God chose you to teach him how to share it with the world.
Oh how you DID!

A Mother’s heart ...
The world has lost the kindest, most loving man that has ever walked this planet as he emulated Jesus. I wish I could say we valued him as you did while he was here.
I am so sorry for all he endured by those who could never understand what a precious gem he was. Only a mother knows a son’s pain. I am so sorry for all you have endured.
No one will ever know what you feel. No words can describe a mother’s loss.
The world is left darker, more silent, and less joyful as his perfect pitch now entertains the heavens.
A love angel... yes, he truly was... but you have always known that.

You loved and shared him... he loved and changed the world...
He will forever be the fabric of love that governs my life... given by the Lord to bless.
I thank you Katherine, for sharing your beautiful, God gifted, seventh child, Michael.
Michael Joseph Jackson in life and in death has changed my life, and is still changing the world.
His love...the love you nurtured in him... lives on.

You are prayed for ...
I just simply can’t imagine the loss and emptiness you must feel.
We, his fans, all mourn; but you... you truly knew him with a mother’s heart.
The missing him, the loss, the grief must be unfathomable.
I pray for you, your whole family and especially Michael’s children.
I pray for peace, comfort and sweet memories to fill the void, to fill your days, nights and dreams.
I pray his smell lingers and a sense of closeness be there for you,
and chimes of his sweet laughter fill your ears on the difficult days as waves
of grief and acceptance ebb and flow.
God bless you always. You are a wonderful woman, mother and grandmother,
for as Michael said “My mother is perfection”.

God Bless You and Yours Always,
Betty Byrnes
(California, USA)

Most pictures care of Bonnie and MJ-Upbeat. Thank you Bonnie.

Michael: as a Verb

2011-12-26T15:08:00.000-08:00

Michael: (Related forms) Mich·el·ing, Michael-ism, Michael-ness, Michael-ed;
noun, adjective, verb
1. to go from one Michael place to another, as by car, train, plane, or ship; take a trip; journey: to travel for pleasure to follow in the steps of Michael Jackson.
2. the act of a Michael journey.
3. to journey, to traverse distance places, to proceed, to go from place to place as a Michael Jackson fan in pursuit of, seeking all things MJ.
4. to associate, consort with other Michael Jackson fans who pursue all things Michael Jackson.
5. to travel, journey, or pass through or over, as a country or road, town or city where Michael lived, visited, traveled, performed or shopped.
6. journeys; wanderings; pursing all things Michael Jackson
7. to express ones Michaelness.
8. to focus on, watch, listen to, to attend, to buy, dance to, sing, embrace all things Michael Jackson.
9. to spend endless internet and video hours in pursuit of all things Michael Jackson; to blog, to post, to text, to You Tube, to instant message, to email, to tweet all things MJ.

We had never personally met. Like millions have done around the globe since Michael Jackson’s death we became friends on Face Book via the LOVE we hold dear for Michael Jackson. I had wondered what I was getting myself into as you never really know someone just from posts and messages on Face Book. I have learned you can have a great back and forth posting relationship with someone and then you meet them and they are not at all what you perceived them to be. You just never really know someone from Face Book communication. The old fashion face to face communication of expression is lost in the technological world of text messages, email, Face Book and the internet. It’s so easy to type (((HUGS))) and another thing to embrace someone in person. To look them in the eye and say, “Hello” or “How are you?” let alone “I LOVE you.” A term which is the mainstay of all Michael Jackson fan pages. So I was a bit nervous; however I had prayed for months about our encounter and vacation time together and had a sense of peace and anticipation. I also knew God was in charge and I was on yet another Michael journey. I was excited for what was in store and how the next 10 days would unfold.

I arrived early at LAX airport as I didn’t want her to land in a strange place alone without someone to welcome her. We had exchanged pictures of each other to know who to look for but pictures don’t always do justice to the real essence and appearance of a person’s spirit. They can look so different in person. Then there she was, you couldn’t miss her even though she was just a “little bit” as my dad used to call me when I was small. I am not a tall person but Susan was a bit shorter than myself and very thin and trim. Yes small in stature but there was no mistaking that great big MJ LOVE. MJ shirt, jacket, loafers and a big smile. I called her name as a question, “Susan?” with instant recognition as we made eye contact. Gathering her up, off we went wheeling her suitcases to my car as we embarked on the beginning of a new Michael adventure. It seemed from that moment on for 10 full days our Michaeling only stopped long enough to garner a few hours sleep before moving on. It was a wonderful whirlwind of activity, restful sharing, constant MJ music, laughter, commiserating over the sadness of broken hearts over the loss of Michael Jackson and a full years worth of Michaeling crammed into 10 days.

At times there was silence as we digested a day and felt our own feelings over a subject or adventure. What is it that makes a friendship? The ability to be who you are and feel what you feel and not have to constantly tell someone what that is... a knowing... a communication without words. This is what we had. Although there were ALOT of words too. Many, many as we stayed up late into the wee hours of the morning, night after night talking and watching MJ videos, never able to get enough of Michael Jackson and not wanting to waste a single moment of her time in California.

I had planned a massive Michaeling tour session fitting in as many of the So. Calif. Michael spots as possible. Neither of us had any idea what was truly in store. This was a trip of a lifetime for Susan. Each day ended up evolving as the agenda was loose with only 3 major days with scheduled plans; Disneyland, Neverland and Shambala. It was all a first for Susan and although I had been to many of these spots before I was just as excited as she was and felt anxious to share them. We simply had no idea how much fun we would have sharing our common interest and endless stories and research about Michael.

Her English dialect was so fun to listen to and I learned many new English meanings in our journeys across the So. Cal. landscape as we endeavored to walk in Michael’s footsteps. Words such as: ‘motoring’ as we drove, ‘car park’ as we found ourselves lost in the Kodak Theater parking structure (is that possible? Apparently for me Yes!). We readily agreed on the name of the old restored surfer wagon, the ‘Woody’, we passed at least 5 times while I maneuvered in unending circles to find my way to the surface of earth again and up out of the parking structure or ‘car park’. I had no idea the Kodak went so deep into the earth, but there is a dead end & it holds a maintenance material area which is really not at all interesting... but still I managed to find it. The ‘que’ is the line we wait in whether by foot or car. The ‘sponge cakes’ are the pancakes she ate at IHop. The media is ‘blinkered’ in the UK and I have to agree in the US as well with all their fallacious lies about MJ. I have the biggest ‘dust bins’ or trash cans she has ever seen... super sized by UK standards. From the very first day she pitched in with chores like the dishes or bringing in the dust bins from the street and also the mail. We both had a good laugh at my neighbor's puzzled response and strange look when she asked how to open my ‘postal box.’

Most times getting lost can be very entertaining and adventurous and I always meet interesting people. I had pondered buying GPS for her visit and even priced them, as I knew I’d be driving quite a bit but decided against the extra expense and thought I’d just wing it as usual. Of course as a result I became lost innumerable times. It was fun and exciting sometime and bewildering and exhausting other times. There were a couple of nights past midnight when I just said “I’m too exhausted to keep looking. Let's just go somewhere else.” The trouble was I was so engrossed in thought and conversation so many times I would forget where I was and would get lost even while taking her to places I have been to many times. We laughed so hard when I was searching at one point for Michael’s tattoo salon, Anastasia’s, off Wilshire in Beverly Hills. When we finally found it I realized I had been there before as it was only doors away from Juliene’s auction house. I circled the area searching for the salon and played good tour guide pointing out Juliene’s where Michael’s clothes and the Thriller jacket were recently auctioned and kept pointing it out each time we passed missing Anastasia's completely each time announcing instead, “Well there’s Juliene’s!” Susan laughed heartily as she said “I saw Juliene’s so many times as we passed by that I thought there were several Juliene’s.” Good thing she wasn't paying this tour guide. It was hilarious.

Then there was the time we searched all afternoon and into the evening for Ed Hardy only to learn after visiting three different Ed Hardy stores, and to make it more confusing two of them are on Melrose, the Ed Hardy store we actually had in mind, the one that Michael visited with Christian Audigier, is now the Ed Hardy Outlet. I didn’t realize so much Ed Hardy history existed until I talked to the many Ed Hardy sales people in each store as Susan shopped or we asked for directions to different stores. After searching for hours and shopping at each store we arrived at the outlet with only minutes to spare before closing but Susan immediately spotted the items she wanted to purchase and snagged her booty. As the store closed for the night I promised I’d bring her back... if I could ever find it again. Then as I was taking her to dinner days later in Santa Monica to a restaurant I have been to several times before I again found myself completely lost yet again. We traveled up and down a street, I now have forgotten the name of, that was in the middle of West Hollywood. Her comments while lost there that day consisted of, “OH MY! Betty! I just saw some naked men dancing on the table shaking their bits about!!!” I howled with laughter and informed her, “Oh! I forgot to tell you about that part of the tour!” U turns and I are a well adjusted duo. If all else fails make a u-turn and try again.... this way of traveling about L.A. of course enabled Susan to again view the ‘shakers of the bits’ a few more times. This time she hid her eyes. Let’s just say I have learned if my instincts say to go west I better turn east.

No this is not Alzheimers... I'm just 'Directionally Challenged' and I have surrendered to this sometime mind boggling and frustrating fact, embracing it as part of who I am. At least as an independent woman I can freely ask for directions and meet great people I would never have met otherwise. I have been known to call friends in Colorado while driving for directions to the Grove in Los Angeles. Thank God for cell phones and helpful, loving friends with a sense of humor. However, this time I called my son who is always accommodating no matter the time of day or night, asking for directions to the restaurant we were in search of and when he asked me where I was I looked up absolutely, utterly astounded to see right before me the Ed Hardy Outlet that I had searched for endlessly the previous day. There it was in all it’s glory! Susan and I broke into rolling gales of laughter as we both realized where we were. My son has long ago accepted the crazy part of his mother but he was not as amused as we were about discovering the Ed Hardy Outlet in our quest for dinner and supportively said, “Ok Mom. Uhhh Let’s just get you where you’re going.”

So the first day in Los Angeles I decided I better take Susan to Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, and one of Michael’s favorite places on earth. I thought it best we go while we were both fresh and had plenty of energy. Disneyland was amazing as always and everywhere we looked we were reminded of Michael, from the train station to Mickey Mouse. I snuck her in the back entrance to see Michael’s huge Capt. EO portrait and then of course went straight to the theater to see the Capt. himself on the big screen. The whole day was filled with Disney magic. I think we sat through Capt. EO 5 times ending the night front and center at the Castle to view the most amazing fireworks and then one last visit to say good bye to the Capt. Oh that gorgeous smile. Michael no don’t wave good bye... PLEASE come back don’t leave...

Finally we ended our Disney day with a visit to Michael’s rock in the moat at the castle and the rebel that I am had to stand where Michael stood. We took turns. Yes my bad.

The remainder of the agenda except for the Neverland and Shambala journeys was very loose and whatever we found and experienced just flowed. I took her to the MJ Hollywood Star where she met Jovan the impersonator from Haiti. It was good reconnecting with him and to see he is doing well and still very inspired by Michael Jackson. Very close to MJ's Hollywood Star we took a look at the Hard Rock Cafe Hollywood display where MJ’s fedora is behind glass with a sign stating that MJ traded his fedora for a box of McDonald’s Happy Meal Toys along with an MJ signed Dangerous album on display. It always makes me smile to think about Michael giving away his fedora for MickeyD toys.

At Gardner St. School she saw the wonderful results of the fans from all over the world speaking up for JUSTICE for Michael as his name gleamed bright on the Michael Jackson Auditorium. The principle of Gardner St. is a fan of Michael's and has instituted many art and music classes which honor Michael and teach the children about his genius and beauty.

We visited Michael twice at Holly Terrace, Forest Lawn and also the main mausoleum where the majestic white angel stands above the space where Elizabeth Taylor now rests and is not far from Michael. While there we also viewed the beautiful Michelangelo show room and Last Supper stained glass window display. The gorgeous water lilies I had been waiting to capture in photos were in full bloom and contented Wild Geese were gathered at the front gate fountain. We visited the Forest Lawn Florist and Susan chose special flowers for Michael which included a sunflower and butterflies and decided to have them delivered inside to Michael. We went up to the Holly Terrace patio so we could personally watch them go inside. The second visit I brought Michael a Charlie Brown sunflower from my garden, one of the last of about 30 that bloomed throughout the summer, and left it outside with many other beautiful flowers the fans have brought or had delivered from other florists shops. There are always flowers inside and outside on the patio for Michael.

She was happy to see the Thriller House in person where Michael filmed his most famous short film of all time. This old house has been restored leaving portions just as they were for the filming of Thriller. It sits in the most amazingly beautiful, refurbished neighborhood of Victorian homes in Los Angeles and not coincidentally on Carroll St. That eery coincidence is never lost on me.

The Palace Theater where Thriller was also filmed isn't what it used to be but we made sure to stop momentarily to see it. One day I hope to go inside. The same ticket booth that was used in the scene of Michael and Ola Ray while filming Thriller still sits inside behind closed gates. The lights still look the same. It would be so wonderful to see this great theater restored to it's former glory one day.

We made sure to stop by the court house where we had made arrangements to meet Larry Nimmer on the first day of jury selection. It was awesome to be able to take her to the court house to speak her feelings for JUSTICE for Michael Jackson. She displayed her shirt which clearly displayed Conrad Murray as Dr. Death. I carried the same t-shirt to the court house for her throughout the trial.

Off The Wall antique store in Hollywood on Melrose is always fun to visit. I was not surprised to learn from the owner that one of the pieces from the 1900's medical school set that Michael had purchased but never took delivery on before he passed away was now gone. I was happy to hear that the leg in the set was sold to an MJ fan. The two heads still remain and are as intriguing as ever. The antique Disney figurines that Michael loved so much are still in the corner display and on the day we visited there were also wonderful antique toys in the front window which so reminded me of Neverland. Seemed everywhere we looked there were Michael reminders.

The Autry Museum was also fun to see and we learned this exhibit of Michael’s clothes will not be open much longer. We also were shown a very cool tribute, guitar belt buckle which is a replica of the one which Michael wore is for sale. The original that Michael wore is on display there in the exhibit that Michael Bush and Dennis Tompkins designed.

The Grammy Museum now has a new permanent Michael Jackson display which is not to distant from the Graff Lab Mural so we made sure to swing by the Graff Lab after visiting the Grammy so Susan could see that incredible TII Michael mural.

The Super Bowl MJ Mural off Hollywood Blvd is always so much fun to share with fans. I just love that mural and it always brings a smile to their faces along with many ooohs and ahhhs from those I take to view it. Susan loved this mural as well.

Once we finally found them the Ed Hardy and Moist stores were interesting, as well as Anastasian’s and Juliene’s. The woman who waited on Michael at Moist was there and we were told that a video plays on occasion of Michael's visit to Moist. Michael liked to shop in both Moist for Men and Moist for Woman, gender never had boundaries to his fashion taste. The day we visited the video of Michael was not playing; however across the street was definitely a reminder of Michael. A full size Peter Pan statue (albiet the face looked a bit evil to me LOL).

Carollwood was last on the list but we ended up seeing it the day we were searching for Ed Hardy. This place is always difficult to visit. To me it will always be a crime scene... then maybe not just for me because not long after Michael’s death it was included on the Hollywood Star Tours Crime Scene Map. Long before Conrad Murray was found guilty. Every time I visit this place the incredible, unnecessary loss of Michael Jackson is felt. This day the tour buses were coming by on a regular basis, as usual, much to the chagrin of the home owners who happen to be Christian Audigier and his wife, who at times post guards to keep tourists away. This day it was guard free but we kept our distance to respect their property.

In my search of Engine House 71 which I know is just around the corner from Carollwood, not that I like to go there but in an attempt to be a good tour guide I thought I’d point it out to Susan. Following my inner directional instincts we ended up going the wrong way. It was only a short distance and I realized with no surprise we were headed instead for San Fernando Valley where Michael lived at Hayvenhurst so instead of a U turn we rolled on up and over the hill into the San Fernando Valley and ultimately were dumped out on to Ventura Blvd. Thus we decided to go to Hayvenhurst for a visit instead. We stopped to buy a lovely orchid for Mrs. Jackson although she and the children are not living at Hayvenhurst, it was the gesture of love that mattered. We walked down to the compound rang the bell and the guard kindly thanked us for the gift through the intercom and assured us he would come out to retrieve it. We left the orchid on the brick planter and stepped across the street to wait, he came out shortly and we started a conversation with him. He was so polite and friendly and as we talked we looked down the drive way and there was Kenya! Beautiful Kenya... Michael’s family dog, a beautiful golden retriever, the children’s dog. She was wagging her tail and so happy and content, very well behaved. We talked for sometime to the kind gentleman and again as always with every time I have ever visited Hayvenhurst and spoken to the guards I was once again assured simply by this man’s gentle, kind spirit that MJ3 and now also Kenya are being very well cared for.

On another day when I was showing a friend, Sara, from Colorado around L.A and we were in search yet again for the Ed Hardy Outlet I instead did in fact find Engine House 71. I dunno... it makes no sense.... but there on the right was Engine House 71. Baffling. Seems sometimes Michael leads me where he wants me to go.

This next part of our Michaeling adventure was not the best time; however with all things the Lord can turn the seemingly bad completely around. One of the highlights of the week was our trip to Neverland. I was very excited for Susan as this would be her first ever trip to the gates of Michael’s Neverland. I have learned to just take life as it comes most days... most especially when on vacation and Michaeling. We first had so much fun spending some time in my MJ guest room where Susan was staying going through many of the MJ items I have collected before leaving on the journey. A day which started with so much joy quickly changed as we traveled slowly toward our destination. Our journey to Neverland this day was not my typical joyful adventure. Fear can squelch freedom of expression and inhibits fluidity. God tells us to be free of fear. I have worked very hard for many, many years to turn my fear into faith. Today I wander freely through life working hard to avoid the pitfalls of fear. It's still not an easy thing to do. On this journey to Neverland I found myself and Susan unwittingly at the mercy of someone else’s fears as another insisted on driving. Preferably I'd have rather been lost anytime than ever endure this experience again. Never have I visited the gates of Neverland, Los Olivos and Solvang and not felt exhilaration, peace and joy except for this day. Let me just say this for the person out there who has never been to Neverland... who knows nothing about the lay of the land around Neverland; there are indeed back country roads and if you don’t know how to drive a country road I would suggest a bus, taxi or just let someone else drive. Yes Neverland is in the country far away from everything. That is why Michael loved it. There are far reaching rolling hills with animals and wild life, ranches with cows and horses and if you are afraid of such things this may not be the place for you. For me a trip to Neverland is also a time to stay late and take in Michael’s moon and millions of twinkling stars that Michael gazed and wished upon when he lived at Neverland. Why else go? Bring a jacket if you don’t want to be chilly in the summer night. Yes it is dark for the only lights are the lamps at the drive way and the stars and the moon above. The crickets chirp, the bull frogs ribbet and if a coyote’s howl frightens you to death, again this may not be the place for you. For me I LOVE it. I am comforted by the distant coyote’s howl, it energizes me. For me a walk in the dark on Mnt. Figureroa Rd. while looking up at the stars and moon is like a spiritual journey. Also I must share with you if you are afraid of dirt and don’t like plants then Woeste nursery in Los Olivos down the road from Neverland is also not the place for you because after all it is a nursery, a plant nursery and there WILL be plants and dirt there, everywhere. For me it is like a fantasy wonderland.

Now after a long day, it was turning dark and we were very SLOWLY heading back from Solvang to the gates of Neverland before the next leg of our journey into Santa Barbara. I was pondering the absurdity of the day, and how it had been a very long time since I had felt hostage to fear, as we were driving back on Mnt. Figueroa Rd. when suddenly there was a baby calf in the road. We swerved almost hitting it then just kept going. I was shocked and sat up in my seat turning to look back, openly asking “How do you think it got loose? Maybe we need to go back.” My question was stonewalled with absolute refusal to stop the car in the dark on a country road. The driver not giving a hoot about the calf or the fact that any other cars might possibly hit it, or that someone could be hurt. Susan was beside herself with concern about the little calf. It looked so frightened. We pleaded to turn around to help the calf but there was no reasoning with her. We went on to the gates of Neverland but all joy was gone, only disappointment and shock in it’s place. Only Susan and myself emerged from the car for any length of time to take in the gates and the night sky. It was barely dark and the stars were not fully visible but soon I was the only one taking in the view. She wanted to leave for the night. I sat on the stone wall at the gates and looked up at the stars wondering what parallel universe I had stepped into this day. Susan who is a huge animal lover could not get the worry over the baby calf out of her mind. We were all so miserable at this point that we loaded into the car to drive on down to Santa Barbara. On the way again we saw the baby calf... or as our fearful driver put it “It’s just a cow. It’s fine.” All I could see was a dead cow, or dead calf, if someone didn’t intervene in some way so we again begged for her to stop. Finally she begrudgingly stopped and Susan and myself piled out of the car. I immediately found a phone number on a near by fence and began calling the number hoping to arouse someone to gather up their livestock. Susan on the other hand went directly to the baby calf and began shusshing it gently along the road disappearing into the dark up over the bend. The driver of our car began to scream out the door “Get In the car!!! NOW!!” while gunning the engine and pretending to leave. I was shocked to say the least and by that time was also on the phone with another friend we were planning on meeting up with. Our plan had been to meet around midnight. Those plans now scratched as well. Something else to remember when Michaeling is that very few nights end early as there is no time in Michael land. In any event by this time all I could say to my friend on the phone was “Oh the joys of MJ fan drama. I have Susan saving a cow and another screaming at the top of her lungs demanding we get in the car.” I wondered for the life of me why she ever wanted to join in our adventure, was it just to play the part of the squasher of dreams? So with the screamer in the car vocalizing her total disregard for the calf and her passengers and the local phone call made to the neighbors I walked up the road to collect Susan and tell her we needed to get in the car or be left behind as our driver gunned her engine and threatened to leave us there on the road in the dark. She reluctantly acquiesced as her mission was incomplete. It was a VERY long, SLOW, uncomfortable ride home. I was enormously relieved to finally see my house, walk through the door and close it behind me on this day. One more time realizing you never really know someone until jealousy and fear looms it’s ugly head in your life. Thank God for positive choices in life and the freedom to close doors.

So very happy to be home, I literally closed the door behind me, turned looked at Susan and in one accord we simultaneously gasped, “OH MY GOD!” Then the relaxed laughter and easy flow immediately returned. It was like night and day. We stayed up that night unable to sleep watching MJ videos and talking about the day and Michael; however neither of us could shake the memory of that poor frightened little calf. The last we knew the calf had run along the road and the last sound Susan heard in the murky blackness of the night was the clinking of chicken wire and much skidding and scuffling. We had no way of knowing if the calf was ok or if it was entangled in a ditch snagged in chicken wire. I looked at her and said... “SO why not go back in the morning? Let’s go back to NEVERLAND! There is no way you are going back to the UK with just ‘that’ Neverland experience under you belt!”

So we drove back to Neverland the next morning. This trip was the opposite of the previous day. The sky was blue and bright, the drive moved along at a quick clip, MJ serenaded us the whole way and soon we arrived at Mnt. Figueroa Rd. to check on the wayward calf. It seemed to be a week full of animals of all sort. As we traversed the road in search of the calf we saw Muscles in the road and swerved to miss him. In this case we were not about to save the snake as he was on his way to where ever he needed to be with his belly full of what looked to be a small mouse or some other meal. Then happily we spotted the calf. He was back behind the chicken wire fence where Susan had shooed him and now standing under a tree with his mum and dad and also two friendly donkeys. Clearly we could see where he had gotten out. We attempted to cinch up the chicken wire to no avail so decided to seek out the owners of the ranch. Susan being from England approaches easily and bound out of the car to knock on doors. I on the other hand being from L.A was a bit apprehensive and in the end regretted letting her go door knocking alone while I sat as the get away driver. We were directed to a ranch who as it turned out was Michael’s immediate neighbor and the very home of the Milk Money Cows Michael leased his land to for grazing money. Susan climbed the porch stairs and knocked, sitting just inside beyond the screen door at a desk a gruff voice responded “Yes. What can I do for you?” Susan looked into a face of a David Nordahl looking mountain man with a scruffy long beard and wild lumber jack way about him and explained about the calf escaping the night before and he said he would send someone down to mend the fence. Our job done on behalf of the calf we felt relieved the little guy would now be safe and moved on not much farther up the road to the gates of Neverland. We parked under the giant old oak that stands sentry at the gates, it’s bark riddled with wood pecker holes. A blue jay perched up in the branches of the old Oak lit down to the split rail fence to say hello. A lizard skittered out and posed for a picture. We seemed to draw animals at every turn this trip. It may have been Susan’s Dr. Doo Little personality. My cats simply loved her as well.

This return trip to Neverland Valley as it turned out was a perfect blessing because Young’s Art Gallery was open this day and we were able to spend time visiting with Ralph. It was fun to watch and listen as he entertained Susan with stories about Michael’s love of art and his visits to the shop. Then we moved on to Woeste nursery once again and spotted some wonderful new items on display that had just been delivered that morning. It was an amazing ‘Do Over’ at every turn. Moving on into Solvang we ran into a wonderful lady who knew Michael and whose children had been to Neverland many times. She shared heartwarming stories about Michael’s visits to Solvang stores and other local areas. The love in her heart and deep admiration of Michael was so evident. We clearly connected and again it was so comforting to know Michael was loved and appreciated by his neighbors. Along this part of the journey in Solvang we also saw a beautiful momma deer and her twin fawns. They were swift but I managed to capture one in a picture.

After feeling fully saturated with all things Michael in Solvang and with it now truly dark enough out to see the stars crystal clear we returned to the gates of Neverland for a real visit where we listened to the same night sounds that Michael listened to and looked up into the night sky at the same stars and moon Michael gazed at. We were taking our time at the gates when suddenly there was much activity inside the gates, security walkie talkies were buzzing. Perimeter and building checks were being done. Security was on high alert this night. We stayed for a while at the gate and under the Oak and then returned to our car where we sat facing the property wondering what was going on. Then we noticed a long line of headlights. A long caravan of cars lined up with their head lights beaming out toward the gates seemingly waiting to leave Neverland. Still curious we got out of the car and approached the gates as all the cars began to leave. In the second car was Tom Barrack. He was very friendly, smiling and waving hello to us as he slowly drove by. After the excitement died down and all cars drove away, we stayed for a while longer, listening to the Neverland night sounds then made our way back home. The drive home that night was filled with Michael’s music and lots of free flowing conversation. Much to think about with the goings on at Neverland this night.

For the last day of Susan’s visit we had made reservations months in advance to visit Shambala where Michael’s big cats Thriller and Sabu now reside. They will have a home here for the rest of their lives. I had met spunky Tippi Hedren at Juliene’s when the Thriller jacket was up for auction and had been really looking forward to this visit. There were many people visiting Shambala this day. There were three groups each assigned a tour guide with a megaphone. It’s a long day visit and you are invited to bring a picnic lunch to eat at tables set up by the man-made lake at the end of the tour. All food is gathered and kept back at the picnic ground before embarking on the tour through the facility. Each group has a tour guide, two to three docents and another staff member following along to keep visitors safe and to make sure they don’t wander away from main trail or reach over near cages which is totally understandable. These are wild animals not trained house pets. They can be very dangerous and I suppose sometime the humans do stupid things as well like trying to feed or pet them.

Thriller and Sabu are in a cage at the edge of the compound up against a hill, we were pleased to learn were also at the beginning of our particular part of the walking tour. Sadly our tour guide knew nothing about Thriller and Sabu and seemed to believe the hype of the media about Michael. He clearly didn't want to talk about or answer questions about Michael's big cats. He completely skipped over MJ’s cats and moved on to the other part of the tour. I controlled myself to a degree but finally had to speak out about how disappointing our tour was since we paid the $50 a person to see and learn about Michael Jackson’s cats. I had made it clear we were MJ fans coming to Shambala specifically to see Thriller and Sabu. It was confusing to me especially since Shambala’s promotional campaign for 2011 was using Michael Jackson’s cats to promote and bring in donations, yet our particular guide knew 'nothing' about these beautiful animals, seemed to not want to talk about the cats and quickly moved on to other cats where he then spent long amounts of time talking about each animal. Anyone who knows me knows this just wasn’t going to fly with me. Not to detract or negate from how beautiful the other cats are it seemed extremely insensitive, ignorant and prejudicial toward MJ to me. As the tour moved on away from MJ’s cats I became more and more frustrated and disappointed, moving toward the back of the group I quietly voiced my complaints to the docents to no avail. My words however did not completely fall on all deaf ears, they were heard by a facility staff member standing at the back of our group. This man was so kind, as I stood next to him he quietly offered information about Michael’s big cats and confided to me that he fed Thriller and Sabu every morning and threw the ball for them to play.

Finally someone who knew about MJ’s cats! He shared that Thriller was very aggressive with the food and was the ruler of the roost so to speak. Sabu the male cat was more laid back and would allow Thriller, the female cat, to eat the food first every time, then he would eat his food when she was done. I smiled and couldn't help but think, “What a gentleman” but I am sure it is more about being territorial. He pointed out that they had a portion of the lake in their cage and would play and lay in the water. There was also a giant ball and other toys for them to play with. Sabu was laying on top of what looked like a giant dog house type shed which had a hard plastic green awning type roof over it. Thriller was laying inside the shed. He said those were their normal places they lay at rest. That Thriller was always inside the little shed and Sabu on top, they had claimed their own spots and they most always laid in the same place. I asked about water for them to drink and he pointed out the large water bin that looked like a metal trash can hanging on the fence and said it is filled often. He explained that they were nocturnal and slept most of the day and became much more active at night and feeding time.

There is a replica of an African Safari tent with a wooden floor which is set up and furnished for over night stays for guests. It sits just adjacent to Thriller and Sabu’s cage and those who stay over night are entertained by their growls and the sounds of their night time antics as they prowl in their cage as well as all the other cats in the compound. Night time becomes very active at Shambala. I was surprised when after going through the rest of the tour we arrived at the gift store and were then taken back by our tour guide to Thriller and Sabu’s cage. It was then that he began to show just how unknowledgeable he was about Michael Jackson and his animals, much of what he began to tell us was media lies. Such as Michael abandoned all of his animals and fled the country. Susan and I quickly put him right about that and ended up sharing the truth with him about Michael on many things. In response he said he had no idea. I was shocked that he was allowed to share such things on this tour. They are all volunteers but to allow someone to talk in a negative way about Michael especially when they were using Thriller and Sabu as their promotional income for the year of 2011 was just terrible to me. After eating our lunch I approached other staff members and met a wonderful, kind lady who also takes care of Michael’s cats regularly. She was adamant that Michael NEVER abandoned his cats or any of his animals. There was a veterinarian in charge at Neverland and it was the same vet who brought Michael's cats to Shambala. She also shared how the video of Thriller doing the moon walk happened accidentally one morning while she was present as none of the cats are trained or perform in any way. She just happened to have a camera in her pocket that day and captured Thriller moving backward as if Moonwalking. At Shambala these big cats are allowed to live out their lives with no human pressure to be anything other than the natural wild cats that they are. Sadly these magnificent animals should be free in the wild but for these animals who were originally pets or zoo animals, such as Michael’s cats, this is a wonderful place for them to live comfortable safe lives. After lunch Tippi Hedren also gave a speech and signed books and met with visitors.

For Susan’s last night in Los Angeles we watched more MJ videos and shared until late. We continued easily talking the next morning on the way to the airport. I have driven to LAX more times than I can count but of course on this day I was talking and of course found myself completely lost. What better way to end this 10 day Michaeling tour? We laughed as I pulled into a strip mall, got out of the car and asked for directions. It wasn’t long before we found our destination, Virgin Airlines at LAX. It was sad saying good bye to Susan our hearts and lives now bonded. A lovely lady who will always be welcome in my home, in my MJ room.

She called me from the UK today to wish me a happy Christmas as I prepared to write this story and I was so pleased to tell her that among other wonderful amazing MJ presents that I received was GPS from my son and his girlfriend!!! Apparently the time I called my son at 5 a.m. on the morning of the first day of the Conrat Murderer trial convinced him I needed GPS. That morning I was once again in the dark of night, alone and lost in downtown Los Angeles. After dialing him I didn’t realize I had forgotten to hang up before he answered as I had come upon some bus drivers on the way to work who amiably gave me directions. He over heard my asking for directions and back and forth conversation with these friendly people as they directed me to Temple St. After I realized my phone was still on I just hung it up. I laughed when he called me back very curious and amused with the question, “Mom, For the Love of God where are you now and why?” Funny how roles change with our children. Somehow he wasn’t surprised my answer had to do with JUSTICE for Michael. I had a mission that morning to receive the sunflowers to hand out for the Call For Love Face Book group. My family has come to know and accept my Michaelness and the directionally challenged part of me as well.

So now to all my MJ friends who have been nagging at me about getting GPS, and my response has always been “maybe someday"... someday is here... now to learn how to use it.

A late Merry Christmas and very Happy New Year to everyone...
and of course Shamone! Happy Michaeling!

MJIWT and Fan Fest Las Vegas

2011-12-11T18:09:00.000-08:00

I’m a small town girl from the far reaches of northern Los Angeles County. I prefer the quiet small town life but when offered the chance to view Michael's belongings up close and see the Michael Jackson Immortal World Tour again I jumped at it. Vegas was on my radar. I hadn’t been so excited about going to Vegas since my drinking days in the 70’s. I won’t go there now because back then whatever happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas. Now on the other hand whatever happens in Vegas must be shared.

I had not long ago been completely blessed to visit Montreal with 14 other MJ fans for one of the final rehearsals of MJIWT and once there I knew I just had to also see it in Vegas. Even the drama with the ticket agency attempting to put the kibosh on my ticket turned into gold for this trip. One ticket became two which enabled my dear friend Robyn to attend with me. I had reserved a room with two beds knowing there may be a fan who would need a bed for the weekend and sure enough my instincts had been right. Leaving work early with my heart already in Vegas I pulled up to my house to find Robyn waiting in my drive way just as we had planned. Our bags quickly tossed into the trunk and we were ready to roll. Destination: Vegas BABY!

The four and half hour drive passed quickly as we talked non stop about Michael, fan happenings, and of course the victorious GUILTY verdict and sentencing of the monster Conrad Murray. This trip and this weekend seemed the perfect way to celebrate the victory for JUSTICE for Michael. The sun set over the Nevada desert just as we approached the State Line and not much later like a magnet the lights of downtown Vegas pulled us in. I totally understand why Michael loved Vegas... a land where there is no time, brimming with artistic creativity, entertainment and show business at every turn. The city that never sleeps.

I had read a very surprising Vegas related article in Hip Hop Silver Edition Commemorative magazine shortly after Michael died. The chief of staff for Louis Farrakhan, Leonard Muhammad was interviewed. He had headed up the security staff for Michael during the trial in 2005 and for a short time after in 2006. It was a joy to learn that although Michael had been deeply wounded by the trial he had not just retreated to deep depression but had his hand in many projects the public did not know about. He never stopped creating. This story changed my memories of seeing the beautiful water shows in Vegas forever. Now they will always have Michael’s touch on them. It is no wonder they are so beautiful and always draw a crowd, especially at night.

Part of the interview:
Q: Were you ever able to experience first hand the (MJ’s) artistic process or creative talents?
LM: I saw his artistry because he had a studio he had put in the house, that he was staying in at the time, and we would sometimes observe him. And from time to time people would come by who were co-writers or musicians and played the music that he would write and I saw a little of that.... but also to listen to him talk about his future as a developer, as someone who wanted to do theme parks and there are water shows and that sort of thing right now in Vegas that were designed right now by Michael Jackson that people don’t know that he in fact designed these spectacular water shows that you see when you drive down the strip in Las Vegas. Many of these things were designed by Michael, but it’s not known in the public.

So here we were in Vegas in Michael’s water wonderland of creativity and fun. Here he didn’t have to sleep... no one does unless they want to.

There was a gathering of some fans from MJNYFC, the New York fans, for a party on Friday afternoon we had been invited to a party at the Palms where Michael loved to stay and had stayed with his children many times. We missed that party because work came first for me but at least I was in Vegas now and we were headed to meet the fans at the second fan party at the WYNN hotel. We had parked the car and opted to use a taxi the entire weekend because of my penchant for getting lost. It was hilarious to me the next day when on the way to the Mandalay Bay Hotel the taxi driver was lost but I recognized my way and corrected him. There may be hope for me after all. In any event the taxi ride to the WYNN was a quick jaunt down the strip. The WYNN hotel is simply gorgeous and there is one room which so reminded me of Michael with giant ornate, glass, umbrella shaped, decorations hanging from the ceiling. It was simply beautiful. I was thrilled to see and meet up with several fans I’d met over the last two and half years. We opted not to go to the party after the long drive but instead returned to the room early (how my life has changed since the 70's) so we could be rested and fresh for the big day, the Vegas FAN FEST and MJIWT red carpet premier.

We were up and out early into the very cold, windy desert winds. The taxi pulling up was a welcome sight and we piled in grateful for warm air and escape from the wind. We had seen the MJIWT Mandalay Bay sign at night on the way into town but as we rolled up to the gold glimmering front doors we were hit by an absolute presence of Michael. As I stepped out of the taxi and took my first look I was taken aback, stopped dead in my tracks. It was as if Michael were here in concert himself. As if he was billed for a personal appearance. My heart sank. I was stuck at the front doors for sometime overwhelmed, tears brimming, heart racing, snapping pictures and trying to grasp reality, wanting my wishes to be the reality I was about to enter. If only he could be here. If only... taking a large cleansing breath we forged on through the front doors to find our way through the giant rooms filled with slots and tables leading to seemingly never ending vast corridors and alluring stores and shops. The air changes inside. I have heard that oxygen is pumped in to pump up the patrons, to keep then hopping at those gambling tables. We are not gamblers; however we didn’t need much help at getting pumped up. Everywhere we turned there were different types of signs with Michael’s picture leading you to Fan Fest or the concert hall for MJIWT. Every sign seemed to boost our energy level and spur us on. We secured our tickets from Will Call. Sadly there were many other fans learning that their tickets had also been sold out from under them or were simply not there. The greed surrounding anything Michael Jackson still astounds me. I will from now on always be sure to buy my tickets only from Ticketmaster.(will explain later)

Soon we thankfully sank down into a comfy chair in the close by Starbucks to nosh and drink our breakfast. As I was savoring the yummy, fortifying splendidness of my mocha latte I was so pleased to look up and see beautiful Raquel approaching me. She is the founder of the Las Vegas MJ fan club, and holds the MJ Fan Convention in Vegas every year through her group MJSUNIFC. We happily hugged each other hello. I was so happy to see her again after meeting her in Montreal. Her enthusiasm and energy is contagious. We shared for a minute or two and then she was on her way.

On to Fan Fest... not sure what to expect but remembering we had been promised in Montreal it would hold some wonderful items from Michael’s personal collection including the Neverland arch we all thought was gone forever, and that we would definitely be able to walk under it. I couldn’t even imagine that. Also the Scream set from the video would be there along with some of Michael’s own personal glove collection. It wasn’t long before we walked through the doors of the MJ Vegas Fan Fest. The lights were dimmed, Michael’s beautiful voice was singing to us. He was talking to Dick Clark on a huge screen and singing his little heart out with the Jackson Five. We entered the doors and then took just long enough to get pics at the Fan Fest Sign before moving slowly on to the main attraction. I felt myself holding my breath in anticipation of what was to come. It was very emotional and sad for some fans. Tears were brimming and rolling down cheeks. Some came to tell me they needed to leave and would come back later, yet still found it difficult to pull themselves away from anything Michael and ended up staying. On display were Michael’s personal belongings that he wore, he touched, he treasured. What was on display held us in awe and rapture. We all slowly moved from item to item completely captivated. Memories flooding our minds. I would stop to talk to other fans and we all had the same look on our faces. There were no words to describe this feeling. For some it was too much.

A beautiful friend approached me. I was so happy to see her there then as I saw the sadness in her eyes she collapsed in my arms and began to sob, gut wrenching sobs, heartbroken tears. My heart broke for her and it broke for Michael all over again. As I held her I wondered if this feeling, this missing Michael, this emptiness without him in this world... will it ever pass? We can’t seem to get enough of Michael Jackson. The need to be closer to him, to anything that is or was of Michael. I travel all over Michaeling. I take visiting fans and friends from all over to Michael spots, yet each time finding ourselves once there never quite able to conquer the feeling of emptiness, of missing him... it’s just not ever enough. Not enough because nothing we do will ever bring him back. Time has helped. In some ways this blanket of overwhelming grief seems to have changed, lifted, evolved, yet never seems to leave. Will there ever be closure? I believe I have come to accept... no; just the missing of Michael blended with the joy of the person Michael was on this earth and all he gave this world. Michael is our inspiration, our beauty, our enchantment, our ecstasy. It is the grief, the missing MJ that brought us all together... but the love of the human being that keeps us here. This day we celebrate the greatest entertainer to have ever lived on this planet.

I won’t go into great detail about every item. There are a few that brought me to tears and took my breath away beyond description. There was a This Is It display that I refused to visit until the very end. It was too painful I just couldn’t face that one at first. Along with everyone else I oohhhed and ahhhed and gasped over and over and over again. The enormity of realizing I was standing in front of those shoes... the well worn loafers that clearly show the form of Michael's magical feet. One foot worn more than the other from spinning. Or the tank that MJ himself stood in front of in concerts around the world as he sang Earth Song or the ‘Castle’ that was housed in Michael’s living room at Neverland, it was mind boggling. Here in this room there is a feeling, a joy and it isn’t just the oxygen levels. Here you can feel Michael’s spirit. I have been to a few Julien’s auctions where Michael’s belongings or gifts from Michael to others were up for sale, albeit it was amazing and exhilarating as a fan to see these items up close but none of those visits can compare to what was felt at Fan Fest this day. Michael’s spirit was in this huge room. A room so large that his limos and the Neverland arch were on display with room to spare, yet it felt so warm and so filled with LOVE. Only Michael can do this. Only Michael can bring fans together from all over the world and then fill the entire room with awe and wonder.

We walked on further to each display and were astounded at the walls filled with awards and honors and realized that this huge room filled with so many awards and items is only about 1/100th of all the awards and belongings that are still Michael’s. I want to say this right now because I know many fans are upset at the selling of some of Michael’s things. I am hoping that this knowledge will bring some comfort. I was told by Juliene's sometime ago that most of the items sold by Juliene’s are NOT from Michael’s personal collection. The personal collection is still very large and held by the Michael Jackson Estate.

I turned at one point and saw John Branca and Karen Langford walking toward me so I moved over toward them. It was so wonderful to meet up with them again. Karen took on the giant task and responsibility of putting together the Fan Fest event. She did an amazingly spectacular job and I wanted to convey my appreciation for her hard work. John Branca has endeavored to create an experience for the MJ fans with both MJIWT and the Fan Fest event that honors Michael Jackson's legacy in a superb way that Michael so deserves. He has not fallen short. I am very impressed with his warm sincerity and it is very apparent to me that he deeply loves Michael and highly respects and values Michael’s fans just as Michael did.

After spending much time at the re-creation of Michael’s library and so wishing I could have just sat one time on the couch with Michael and discussed the latest book he may have just read or look through the same telescope he viewed the amazing Neverland stars thru we move on to the cars. The beautiful Rolls Royce limo and the Bentley both dark navy blue with Michael’s crown emblems adorning them in many places. The Bentley we are fascinated to learn has beautiful hand blown glass vases and mini chandelier type lights attached on the side walls in the back, along with gold trim and burl wood everywhere. Not just tinted windows but also curtains and tapestry pillows. These cars were made exclusively for Michael Jackson and you can see his touch in every detail.

A friendly Fan Fest guard approached us and shared a wonderful Michael story. One of the women working for Fan Fest whose job it was to unpack boxes and set up displays found when she began opening the cars and unloading the boxes she was over whelmed by a feeling of Michael's presence. Upon opening the car doors Michael's scent was unmistakable. Each box she opened Michael's scent wafted out. At one point feeling overwhelmed she needed to take a break. She went upstairs to her room to relax, turned on the radio and heard Michael’s voice singing. She then said “Ok Michael I’ll go finish.” There was no escaping Michael, his spirit was everywhere. I then asked if I could get in the limo to smell Michael but was told no. Yes ladies I tried. We stood and talked to this lovely man for a while and then I asked his name and wouldn’t you know it... wait for it... yes it was... ‘Michael’. We of course said, "ahhhhh... Michael." He gave us a strange look but seemed to be amused. I think he liked it. He told us we needed to make sure and take a close look at the Smooth Criminal suit from the This Is It display as it had a stain on the lapel. The stain he said was from Michael. Painfully I listened as a knife cut through my heart to hear that the stain was from Michael throwing up because he had become dehydrated and was feeling ill. I told him I just couldn’t look yet but would later on near the end.

Then I meandered over and took my time admiring the wonderful fan art that was on display including a ‘thumbs up MJ Mickey Mouse.’ Only a tiny microcosm of the fan art Michael collected and received from fans around the world. I have heard but don’t know if it is true, that there a several huge warehouses full of fan art. I don’t doubt it. Two wonderful stories came to mind when I was looking at this art. One from the owner of Youngs Art Gallery in Los Olivos about a time he was delivering art for Michael at Neverland. As he stood in Michael’s office talking to the ranch manager he looked over to a room that was haphazardly filled to the top with boxes and items. He commented about it all and was told that what he was looking at was only a few days worth of presents for Michael and it would be cleared and taken to a warehouse to make room for more mail that would inevitably arrive daily. Michael loved to receive art and presents from his fans. Michael truly loved his fans.

The other story which sprang to mind as I looked closely at the fan art work was one John Branca had shared in Montreal. John had shared that after Michael passed away the MJ Team took on the task of going through his things and were elated to find huge stacks of video tapes. They were even more elated to learn these were personal tapes of Michael’s from concerts he gave from around the world. Thinking these might hold unseen concert footage they were all amused to learn when they watched video after video that these tapes were filled with footage of nothing but Michael’s fans watching him at concerts. He loved to watch his fans watch him on stage. To Michael seeing his fans in the audience was just as fascinating and entertaining as the fans watching him on stage. Yes, that was our humble, loving Michael.

After moving to the back of the hall where some very interesting MJIWT costumes were on display It was now time for me to finally see the TII display. I slowly approached and tried to just take in the genius and creativity of Michael with this display. The spider was absolutely amazing and I could just see Michael coming out from under it. I wanted to get under it to be where he had been but it was chained down or believe me I would have tried. Hee Hee I looked at the fine detail of Zaldy’s creations and wondered how on earth Michael as frail as he was could have worn those beautiful but heavy designs and danced in them. The pant legs were so skinny, so thin. My heart broke for Michael. Then I took a very up close look at the stain on the Smooth Criminal outfit. Sadness flooded my heart as tears filled my eyes once again for Michael. He wanted so much to show the world all he had been creating. I needed to move away and digest my thoughts and feelings so I moved to sit on the TII stage. I had only sat there for a few moments when I turned to see my wonderful friend Wendy moving toward me saying my name, with a huge beautiful smile on her face. I reached out and gave her a giant hug. I was so happy to see her and admire her so much proving, yet once again the deep sadness of loosing Michael is continually, paradoxically accompanied with great happiness and joy. This thought immediately went straight to my heart like an arrow as do all things Michael, leaving me to wonder if Michael himself had not experienced this contradictory feeling throughout his amazing life. He suffered so much at the hands of humans but on the other hand was blessed beyond comprehension with the life God gave him to live, for he surely was chosen for an extraordinary life. I suddenly thought as I stood in front of the TII display with people I love dearly who always bring joy into my life every time I see them... is this a tiny thimble full of what it was like to be around Michael?

We now had seen everything at least twice. I went back yet again now and took more pictures of the displays as the fans had thinned out near closing. We had arrived before it had begun and like many MJ events stayed until we were told we had to leave. Now we had gravitated back to the library. It was so warm, comfortable and cozy. What struck me was that it was so simple, not ostentatious in any way, very earthy but beautiful. Most especially strikingly beautiful was Michael’s desk. There is a bronze bust of Walt Disney on the mantel which evokes ahhhs. The pictures over the fire place old school fox hunting pictures, very simple and a stark contrast to Michael’s beautiful desk. I wondered if they had come with the ranch when Michael bought it and with the huge collection of art he owned why he never chose to change the pictures out for more Neverland type paintings, such as the ones Dave Nordahl had done for him on so many occasions. Maybe one day I'll find out. I could just see Michael sitting on the brown, leather, diamond tuck, button couch accepting his awards on TV as he had done so many times. One time in particular with Chris Tucker popped in my head and I could see Michael laughing at Chris’ jokes, giggling up a storm and most likely eventually rolling on the floor in gales of laughter. It was about then I noticed Miko Brando approaching us. Miko is still a beautiful, staunchly loyal friend to Michael. At the Julien’s auction where the Thriller jacket was for sale I had asked him what he thought of the auction and he very understandably shook his head sadly and firmly stated, “I could never sell anything that Michael gave me.” Miko is a quiet, kind man whose grief at the Julien’s auction was absolutely palpable. My heart broke for his loss and although I wanted to ask him many questions, as I always do to those I meet who knew Michael, I simply could not bring myself to intrude on his private sorrow. A surreal feeling enveloped me as he casually stood next to me just between the Neverland arch and Michael’s library and we talked. Robyn and I asked about the magnificent desk in Michael’s library and we were thrilled to learn it was made of mahogany inlay and real gold. He also shared that Michael really loved that desk and had it special ordered. We remarked about the incredibly beautiful chess set and Miko explained in Michael's library it was displayed on a high table which enabled Michael to play chess while standing up. We had run into a local Las Vegas performer, Bella, from Hungary who was also taking in Fan Fest and said Michael had attended a circus he ran many years ago in Vegas which made perfect sense since Michael loved animals. He had shared how Michael loved to watch the large cats at the circus and Miko talked about how Michael loved the large cats and had written a song for 'Siegfried and Roy'. Hysterically Bella had thought I was ‘someone’ famous and kept asking my name. I was tempted to tell him I was Bea from Mayberry but stopped myself. Yes I know that ages me but I am old. HA! Google Mayberry RFD. I assured him I was no one, just an MJ fan, but later when he approached Miko as I stood next to him I informed him that Miko was definitely ‘someone’ special. That he was a huge part of Michael’s life. We told him about all the videos and movies Miko was in with Michael and named them one by one; Thriller, Moonwalker, You Rock My World and that he was even married at Neverland. As we talked I thought about a life time of memories that must daily over flow in Miko’s heart for his best friend. There I was standing next to someone who so loved and supported Michael unfailingly through simply everything for several decades. It was in fact Miko who was there to protect Michael and make sure the fire was out during the Pepsi disaster. It was Miko who placed his body over Michael to put out the flames with his jacket. Bella said he knew Michael because he'd seen Billie Jean and Thriller and Miko said, "That wasn't Michael. Billie Jean was someone he played on stage." So many fans believe they know Michael because of what they have seen on stage or in videos but Michael was a performer and transformed on stage. It is always so wonderful to speak to someone who knew the man Michael truly was. As I stood next to Miko again I wanted to ask so many questions but this time it was just simply enough to stand and talk with him about ‘stuff.’ The desk, the couch, the books, the telescope. He shared that he and Michael spent many times together in the library at Neverland. Yes he confirmed that Michael certainly did use the telescope and loved to look at the stars over Neverland through it. My star gazing at the gates of Neverland will never be the same now as I picture Michael peering through that giant telescope. I noticed the red and gold ‘Team MJ’ jacket he was wearing and asked about it, hoping somehow it might be available for purchase. He told me that all those who came together to support Michael after his death with the Estate became the 'Team MJ’ and each were given a jacket. He wore it proudly.

It was now time to go. We had spent four hours visiting Michael’s things and feeling his magic in this Michael wonderland, taking a very up close look at his personal belongings including the famous crown, stage costumes, awards, cars, arcade games, Michael’s bling; his amazing jewelry, pins and belts. It was simply incredible and hard to believe four hours had passed so quickly but it was time to go. There was a red carpet event down stairs we wanted to attend before the show. So off we went to the red carpet which turned out to be, as Robyn put it, "Just a room with a red carpet that went no where." It was for media only behind close doors. It's Vegas and apparently the illusion of a Red Carpet entrance is what works. The MJ fans were not to be deterred though and we stood very close to the doors so we could be supporting MJIWT in whatever way we could. We all took this privacy as a way to protect Michael’s children who were attending the premier and were making a showing inside the room on the red carpet.

The red carpet turned out to be a very private affair and Mandalay Bay people were not happy about MJ fans being there, to the point of great rudeness. We were not dismayed though and stood our ground. Soon Jackie and Tito Jackson came by, not stopping but saying a quick hello as they went inside. As I was standing there near the entrance table I suddenly felt a hairy thing like a dog under my hand and realized the lead dancer of the show, who is simply amazingly talented, and Bubbles were passing just inches in front of me. That was a surreal moment to know I had just petted Bubbles without even trying. Bubbles actually is a man dressed like Bubbles and he does a spot on imitation of a chimp. We didn’t have to wait too much longer when Travis Payne and Stacy Walker both choreographers and dancers who worked with Michael made sure to come by to see the MJ fans and visit with us. The Mandalay Bay workers tried hard to deter them from visiting with us and to send them the other way but they were so friendly and kind and spent several minutes with the fans taking pictures and saying hello. Travis’ jacket was absolutely amazing and looked as if it was most certainly a Zaldy design. They both looked just stunning. Travis kindly took a picture with me as Robyn told him, “I LOVE your jacket, Travis!” He responded with, “You do? Well you can have it then” as he laughed and took off down the hall for his red carpet interview. It was very chaotic in the hallway as the Mandalay Bay staff decided to hold a national cheer leading rally right in the middle of the hall way during the same time as the red carpet proceedings. All was not lost though as I looked up and saw Jeff Jampol and the staff from the MJ Online team looking very handsome and dapper for the premier night as well as Karen Langford and John Branca all coming our way. John had told me earlier that his children were enjoying themselves at Fan Fest and he now had them in tow for the red carpet as well. Simply stunningly, beautiful children with gorgeous blonde hair. He glowed with pride as he walked through the crowd with them heading for the red carpet. He too along with his team made sure to greet the MJ fans much to the chagrin of the Mandalay staff. The Red Carpet was not for the fans and actually pretty disappointing but the show was about to begin so we moved on making our way through the cheerleaders as they yelled, cheered, jumped and performed their routines while all their supporters clapped and cheered along. As they all yelled "YAYYY!!" I wanted so badly to chime in "YAYYY Michael!!!" but held my tongue. Somehow I wondered how MJ fans quietly standing in a hallway could be so distracting in comparison to the boisterous cheer leading squads. We also passed many cow boys and their cow girls since there was also the yearly rodeo happening on this same weekend in Vegas. The crowd was a baffling mixture of cheering sports groups, cowboys and MJ Fans we all got along famously except for the Mandalay staffers who seemed to not get along with anyone who wasn't a celeb or media. We moved on up the stairs away from the chaos to the concert hall to find our seats. Let the show begin!

I could hardly contain my excitement and had been anxiously waiting to see MJIWT again. My ticket had gone south on me when the agency I bought it from sold it out from under me and forced a later show and different seat location on me. To say the least I was not happy about this but as God always does with the seemingly bad he turned that ticket into two for the early red carpet show which enabled Robyn to attend with me. The seats were higher in the nose bleed section but we were perfectly happy with that. I had already seen from rehearsals the higher seats afford a better over all view of all that is Cirque. I brought binoculars just in case though and celeb watched while we waited for the show to begin. Michael’s children and Katherine were there in the front row and not far away were Tito and Jackie and many cousins were with the children. John Branca and his family were right behind Katherine and the children. Then also many MJNY fans and other fans I know were behind or near them in floor seats. Very cool for them to be so close to the stage and all those dear ones Michael loved so much.

The show began and Michael’s music and voice filled the arena. The Neverland gates and Michael’s bronze statues came alive before our eyes. It's at this point that it was reported Paris put her head on her cousin’s shoulder as memories flooded in from her childhood, her home at Neverland. The amazing miniature hot air balloon which held a animatronic MJ as a child floated over the crowd without a hitch as Michael’s heart glowed red beating inside little Michael. I was so completely thrilled to see that the idea I had shared in Montreal for Michael’s silhouette had come to life as Michael’s Billie Jean image in different poses projected onto a giant curtain. As it moved slightly in the breeze, my heart skipped a beat as it even gave the feeling that Michael himself was there. The cirque staff are amazingly talented and so creative. I was disappointed that the top of the giving tree was not there and later learned they had to forego it because of injuries to the acrobats. I'm hoping all problems are worked out and it reappears in Los Angeles. However for me the show was just amazing in spite of that. I whooo hood and danced in my seat to Michael’s music. How can you not? Many cried and Robyn and I shared tissues with a fan from Japan we sat next to and I’m not even sure she spoke English but we definitely all spoke the language of LOVE for Michael Jackson. There were many ahhhs over and over again from the audience and some just couldn’t help themselves but had to stand and dance at their seats. Robyn and I simply had to move to the music in our seats. I lost my voice yelling whooo hoooo and yayyyyy and clapped like crazy after each segment. Who could not? Yes I left my voice in Vegas and it took all week for it to return to normal but was totally worth it. The MJIWT is a journey through Michael’s musical career and simply crammed with so much of his music. Kevin Antunes and Greg Phillinganes and the band did a spectacular job on the music. Robyn was amazed and astounded when she realized what we were listening to was the real kick ass live band, the real singers and not track. The MJIWT Cirque show IS the tribute to Michael we have all long been waiting for. Michael’s voice, music and spirit filled the arena. He spoke his beautiful words in sections which also brought ohhhs, ahhs and tears. I tire so much of the critical fans who are just never pleased by anything. Those that refuse to even open their minds to this wonderful tribute to Michael and sit and criticize without ever having seen it. This IS a simply amazing show which brings so much honor to Michael. We need to embrace and support it. I am so very pleased with the MJIWT Cirque show and I am looking very forward to seeing it again when it comes to Los Angeles. Once or twice is simply not enough. Hee Hee

It was non stop Michael music the entire time and even pyrotechnics. The pole dancer was an incredible show stopper and the brilliant grace and beauty of the trapeze dancers was beyond amazing. The ‘Is It Scary’ segment with the contortionist worm who comes out of the book is one of my absolute favorite parts of the show as well as the show stopping Billie Jean finale performance with the light up suits which Michael would have pioneered at the O2.

We laughed and we cried and we left elated. Then on our way out as God would have it we ended up walking out with the heads of staff of the resident Immortal Cirque show which will be a permanent show at Mandalay Bay in 2013. I spoke to Wilby from Cirque who I had met when we all brain stormed in Montreal at the Cirque du Soleil corporate offices and was so shocked to know he recognized and remembered me right away. He introduced me to Jack Kenn, the VP and General Manager of the resident Cirque du Soleil shows. Also another on the creative end of things was a very shy and unassuming gentleman from France, Michelle. Wilby introduced me as a ‘Super Fan’ and yes that fits me very well. I will wear that label proudly, yes I am and always will be a Michael Jackson Super Fan. I was so honored. It was awesome again to give my input to their questions as we walked. They were so kind. I also look very forward to the permanent Immortal show.

The final consensus of the MJIWT Cirque du Soleil show from audience members walking out of the show that night, all that I heard speak on the way out, was that it was just fabulous. After spending the day at Fan Fest and seeing the show all else pretty much fell flat for me. I was floating on a cloud in Michael land.

The next day before leaving Vegas I just simply had to visit Michael’s favorite antique store in Vegas, the Regis Galerie in the beautiful Venetian Hotel which was just a brisk walk down the strip from our hotel. The Venetian Hotel now stands where the old Sands Hotel of the ratpack era stood which would explain all the ratpack memorabilia mixed in with fine jewelry, glass, painted bronze collectibles and antiques in the store. I was not surprised at all to see it packed full of antiques and unusual items. Michael seemed to like the small packed antique stores. In the front windows the Bashir interview played. The interview when visiting the store Michael says, “You Whooo! You Whoo!” (I just love that). The clip plays on a continuous loop on two separate TVs in both windows to either side of the front entrance of the shop with a statement saying “Our Dear friend Michael, You Will Be Missed.” I stood for quite a while waiting to get a clear shot of the store front and was pleased to see so many tourists stop to watch the video of Michael. Robyn and I walked through the down stairs portion of the store, the upstairs is blocked off, looking at all the beautiful and unusual treasures. We stood at the 'You Whooo' stair well and the tables along the wall reminded me of Michael's library desk and I wondered if he had special ordered his desk from the Regis Galerie. In the center of the main floor we discovered a framed picture of Michael on display which shows him admiring a beautiful re-creation of the crucifixion of Christ. The framed picture sits on the table in front of the same re-creation Michael is looking at in the picture. It is a breathtakingly beautiful piece. We met one of the owners of the store and he said that Michael was not just a customer but also a friend and he would come into shop and they would often go to dinner or lunch at the near by restaurants in the Venetian Hotel. We went inside a restaurant he pointed us to and clearly it would be a place where Michael would feel comfortable. All seating is hidden upstairs away from view over looking the canals where gondolas glide by and gondoliers sing the most heavenly songs, their beautiful voices echoing off the walls creating a ethereal effect. I vowed the next time I am in Vegas to eat at this wonderful restaurant. The inside of the Venetian is painted like the out doors of Italy. It is just simply stunning. In the main entrance section the ceilings are a reminder of the Michelangelo ceilings Michael loved so much.

It was time to make the long trek home from the city that never sleeps. I am still unwinding from this trip. Everything feels somewhat dull now as reality sets in and I am forced back in to my everyday life. I do however wonder what my next MJ adventure will hold and I am so looking forward to January when MJIWT Cirque du Soleil comes to Los Angeles. Will you be there?

Neverland Valley Sign - Good Bye For Now

Videos courtesy of Melanie Freeman - MJ fans of NY

Great blog post on Seven's blog 777 about Miko Brando and a great read from Miko about Michael and their friendship.
http://www.mj-777.com/?p=6806

The Soup Is Hot!

2011-11-20T22:11:00.000-08:00

Yes it does rain in Southern California. Today with the first real rain storm of the winter season the rain was pouring down as my son, Justin, his girl friend, Megan and myself traveled to the Getty Museum in Los Angeles for my birthday. Not the best weather for this outing but I am happy to spend time together no matter the weather. Many fond memories come back of wonderful time at the Getty with my son when he was younger, spending hours and hours lost in the beauty. I love to wander the galleries in this grand place. Beauty surrounds you at every turn. The architecture, the stone, the grounds all tell a story, a feast for the eye everywhere you look. The rain did not allow the tour of the incredible gardens but the views inside were magnificent. So we happily spent the day gazing at paintings from the masters like Monet, Degas, Cezanne, Renoir, Van Gogh and many more artists I don’t know the names of so readily, exquisite sculptures and the most amazing and riveting red on black photographic story of slave history that simultaneously moved me to tears and took my breath away.

Michael Jackson is never far away in my thoughts and when I saw this painting from the 1700's it reminded me of Michael at the Superbowl. Hee Hee

Statue of A Boy and a Frog.

After seeing everything we had come to see at the Getty we decided to have dinner nearby at BJ’s in Westwood. Everything happens for a reason. We searched for a parking spot to no avail then circled the block coming back just in time to see a car leaving just around the corner from BJ’s and slid right in behind them as they left. The rain had let up a bit and now was just a steady drizzle as we stood at the parking meter feeding it change. Behind me I heard a voice, “Hello can you spare some money?” I turned and looked and there stood a shaggy black man with a big toothless smile. He had on layers of clothes and a beanie. I nodded back at him to acknowledge a hello and kept feeding the parking meter. He waited until we were done feeding the machine and said, “If you can spare some money... it’s for food.” I am always leery of handing over my hard earned money to the homeless thinking it may go to alcohol or drugs so that statement assuaged that thought a bit. I looked at him closer now as he smiled big, he touched my heart. I said, “I’ll bring you back some food. Ok?” His face brightened as he said, “Oh that would be great. I’ll be right here. See there’s my bed” as he pointed to the doorway inlet of a store where his sleeping bag and some personal belongings were stored dry and out of the rain, then said, “This is where I’m staying. I’ll be right here.” I gave him the thumbs up as we walked on our way to assure him we were not blowing him off.

Megan and I shared an umbrella as we forged on down the city street to BJ’s with Justin walking just behind us in his rain gear. I shared with her under the umbrella, “I dunno but he looks like his name might be Willie. What do you think?” She agreed but then we both agreed his name may be Sam or Joe as we had no idea. I regretted not asking his name. We went inside the restaurant and the first thing I thought was what would be best for Willie. Maybe chili or soup or a sandwich? Megan and I discussed what Willie might like to eat and Justin asked, “Who’s Willie?” We laughed and Megan chimed in, “Oh that’s what we think the homeless man’s name might be.” He nodded and smiled and we all decided maybe chili or soup would be the best. I said, “I’m not sure why but this homeless man has become so very important to me just since we met him and walked around the corner. I just really want him to have a hot meal on this cold rainy day.”

We made our own choices for dinner and ordered, enjoyed our meal together as always. I so love to spend time with my son and Megan. We talk about anything and everything and they don’t mind my Michaelness. In fact they have grown to enjoy it... I think. In any event they seem to. LOL We topped off the meal with a shared birthday piezookie and vanilla ice cream. It was just delicious. Thinking of the homeless man I was so grateful for my family, the togetherness and warm meal we had just shared. We gathered Willie’s food, a stuffed baked potato with cheese and broccoli, steaming hot tortilla soup and a holiday spritzer with lime slices to wash it down. Justin carried the food as we walked around the corner. Our hungry man by this time was nestled up in his sleeping bag in the doorway, almost undetectable as he was entirely covered including his head. I said, “Hello are you there?” He popped up out the sleeping bag and startled me making me jump. Justin gave him his food as I told him, "The soup is hot." He gratefully thanked us. I couldn’t stand it another minute. I had to know the real name of this man who had touched my heart with only a few sentences... so I asked. I fully expected him to say Willie... but instead he looked up at me and said, “Michael.” My jawed dropped. I was speechless. Justin and Megan both looked at me as I just stood there completely taken off guard, realizing the weight of that one word, that name in this situation. My heart was so full. My hand had gone to my heart and I was patting my chest, my heart, as I looked at him. Justin and Megan told him again the soup was hot and to enjoy his meal to fill the silence as I stared at him mouth open. After what seemed like a long silence all I could get out was, “Michael? Michael.” He nodded at me. I NEVER expected him to say Michael. He smiled really big and his eyes sparkled as he said, “I’ll eat the soup first. Thank you.” I finally said, “Enjoy your food. God bless you, Michael.”

We loaded into the car and as we drove away he waved good bye with a big smile from the shelter of his doorway. The power of the moment was not lost on any of us. Megan was first to say, “We were absolutely supposed to park there. We were supposed to be right there where he was.” My son said, “He said his name was Michael, he could have said Mike. Most people would say Mike but he said Michael.” This is the first time my son and his girlfriend have been a part of a Michael experience with me. We all three felt the warmth of the blessing from the Lord, the Michael blessing. They now understand and have experienced with me how Michael Jackson continues to touch my life in amazing ways. Michael's LOVE lives on. I am so happy the Lord brought us, all four, to that moment in time for such a blessing. What a simply beautiful day, rain and all, filled with so much joy, affection and LOVE and to top it off we met the most endearing man, Michael. ♥♥♥
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*After posting this story it was pointed out to me that Michael said "I'll be right here." Twice! ET's famous words. This to me is again NO coincidence. A touch from above.

♫ "Where ever you maybe, I'll look up and see someone in the dark for me."♫

Michael, you'll forever be my someone in the dark. Thank you. RIP Michael ♥♥♥

"I'll be right here." ♥♥♥

Michael so loved the story of ET. The same year he won the Grammy for Thriller he also won a Grammy for Best Children's Album, ET: The Extraterrestrial Storybook. He said that was the one Grammy he was most proud of.

Two of many candle chandeliers displayed at the Getty. I love chandeliers. :)

Just love this picture. So tender and sweet. I believe it's called The Young Girl.

My Birthday Wish - Guilty!

2011-11-19T17:33:00.000-08:00

It was my birthday this week, my co-workers filled my day with joy, blessing me with an incredible Michael fantasyland. Turning my cubicle in the land of beige cubicles into a Michael wonderland. It was a beautiful sight to see those who are not even MJ fans dancing down the isle singing Thriller. Smiling and nodding, commenting “Wow” "Cool" “Awesome” “Beautiful” “Amazing.” Many talked about how incredible Michael was. This kind and thoughtful gesture, the fact that they cared about what was important to me and honored me with this gift on my birthday was a huge blessing for me at a time when I needed it most. They shared about how much fun they had putting it all together and uncharacteristically surprised me with hugs. It was simply amazing. MJ was literally everywhere as I toiled through my work day lifting me and all who came near. Michael’s magic was in the smiles and wonder on the faces of those who came to gaze. There is an unmistakable look you see on the face of those who truly love Michael. There is a softness in their eyes which stems from their heart and fills their face. That certain adoration and smile is unmistakable to others who love Michael. I saw that look on a new co-worker as she stood outside my cube and we immediately bonded. She shared how much she and her husband love MJ, how hard she cried when he died, how they were so incredibly excited for ‘This Is It’ at the O2, for Michael's come back even though they couldn’t afford to go. She fondly shared how her grandparents lived across the street from the Jackson family on Hayvenhurst when she was little during the Thriller era while Michael still lived there. How as an 8 year old she’d play out front and would see all the cars coming and going from the Jackson home. She remembered standing in the front yard one afternoon looking at all the comings and goings asking her mom, “Why are all those cars there, mommy? Who lives there?” and her mother’s quiet, respectful answer, “A VERY special, famous person honey, Michael Jackson. You don’t know who he is now but one day you will.” She shared how growing up she watched all of Michael’s videos and fell asleep to his music every night. Yes I teared up several times on my birthday at work. It was very difficult to concentrate on work as MJ LOVE surrounded me all day.

Let’s face it I am an oldster now, part of the Baby Boomer generation. AARP started mailing me my application 10 years ago now and I still haven’t filled out that dag-nabbet thang. Hee Hee I don’t feel old, I still feel like a kid some days and act like it many other days. Its not my cup of tea to celebrate my birthday now that the children are grown and gone and I am single. Instead I like to celebrate life all year long. I love to laugh and often treat myself to special precious moments, occasional items I want just because I deserve them, because they make me happy. Hee Hee My birth-day is a day I just simply like to forget but lately no one let’s me. To me its the day when I have to acknowledge the logged time on this earth which as it mounts in today’s work day world and today’s society is not always kind. Sometime... as Michael always said the word... leaving off the s. I just love that Michaelism. There were several he said that way but this is my fav. So much so that now when I hear ‘sometimes’ it sounds incorrect, yet in all actuality it is incorrect, because you are usually talking about one time, not many. The English language is funny. So once again Michael is right... but I digress... 'Sometime' it seems the older you get the less you are needed. The less important you become. No matter how much I loved my mother I watched her experience this. Then like the beautiful woman she was I saw her rally with great altruistic volunteerism for the poor.

In the Michael Jackson world age does not matter. Our Peter Pan never wanted to grow old and sadly for the world his wish came true. LOVE for Michael spans all generations and just like Peter Pan will never grow old. I recently heard a friend talk about how there was a lovely lady, a 91 year old Michael Jackson fan sharing her huge heart of LOVE for Michael with some Jackson family members. Then right along side her clearly also showing his giant LOVE and admiration of Michael was a little 3 year old boy dressed just like Michael dancing his heart out doing Michael’s spins and everything. Michael’s LOVE knows no boundaries. Only Michael Jackson could bring the world together in this way.

Sometime as the fans gather at parties and events I look at them all with such wonderment and picture Frosty’s ‘Island of Misfit Toys.’ To me its fitting, people from all nationalities, religions, ages, every demographic, crossing all realms of society. Michael reached out to the suffering and broken, we identified with Michael’s pain long before we heard him talk about it in the now famous slurred tape recording the monster made after he had drugged him. A tape clearly marked for evil which only proved and revealed to the world Michael’s true heart of innocent, pure love for children as well as his deep hurt and pain. The MJ community is home to many who hurt. His music and LOVE for the world carried so many through difficult life situations, illnesses and debilitating loneliness and pain... still does. Some even say it saved their lives. How can that be? Simply because Michael put everything he was into his music. He gave his ‘everything.’ He was the music and as he has openly shared, the source of his music was God. God is LOVE. God is healing. So those notes, his voice, the words, the music still today are a living breathing legacy of Michael’s spiritual life on this planet. Still bringing life and healing for generations to come For All Time. His LOVE will NEVER stop, our LOVE for Michael will never stop, his LOVE lives on in us. We will never let go of our Minstrel of Peace and LOVE.

A beautiful interview of Michael by Geraldo Rivera during the trial of 2005. Michael was hurting so badly during this time yet his true character of LOVE and wisdom shone so bright. I love this interview of Michael, please take a look. The full interview is in a series of 5 on You Tube.

As I look back over this last two and half years I have met a multitude of amazing people from all over the world, experienced beautiful LOVE and forged friendships I will treasure always. I could never have dreamed that the deep pain and grief I was inexplicably experiencing for someone I have never met would lead me to the beautiful, enriching friendships I now hold dear.

I have also seen and experienced the other side as well, the incredibly horrific and cruel fighting within the MJ community. I have wondered off and on if any of them have listened to Michael’s words and learned anything from him at all. I have seen incredible amounts of narcissism and self promotion using MJ’s name. Sometime I have even wondered why some of them state they are Michael Jackson fans because they clearly never understood what he was about.

After all the in-fighting, all the stress, all the tension of fighting for Justice each in our own way the long awaited verdict day arrived. For me it was one of the most stressful days of the last two and half years. The trial had been like reliving Michael’s death over and over again, ripping at my heart, pulling the scab off daily. I felt just plain raw and very vulnerable, pain oozing out of a broken heart again. Every emotion imaginable running through me, bubbling over. I know I wasn’t alone. I had great faith that the monster would be found guilty but still the emotions boiled. I made several visits to Holly Terrace to pay respect to Michael and share that we were not giving up and JUSTICE was coming. I had fans approach me saying “What if he is found not guilty?” I refused to speak about that, refused to give it any power. For me I had prayed and given it to the Lord, thanked him in advance for a Guilty verdict. That would be the only out come I would consider. I shied away from anyone during the trial who wanted to discuss the possibility of the opposite. I stuck close to my faith filled praying friends. My faith would not be shaken. Unable to attend at the court house because of work I was just beside myself. I had fans texting me and calling me at work daily... then FINALLY... verdict day arrived... the verdict myself and so many others had prayed for was read... GUILTY! Conrad Murderer pronounced GUILTY in a court of law! We were all jubilant! I watched my computer screen at work as the fans at the courthouse cried, screamed, fainted, smiled, jumped up and down, laughed, sang, danced and drove by the court house honking. Finally JUSTICE!

Personally I became very quiet and introspective not sure what I was feeling. A co-worker came by saying, “I thought you’d be jumping up and down screaming for joy?” I too thought the same thing but I wasn’t. Instead after a loud whispered “GUILTY” I openly thanked the LORD then quietly turned inward. Definitely there was happiness and relief, just a feeling of drinking in the JUSTICE. Soaking in the wonderful sight of ‘Take No Crap’ Bailiff Deputy Jones slapping the cuffs on Conrad Murderer before he could even stand up. YES!! God bless Deputy Jones! I LOVE that man so much! Then seeing him being led away to jail. Only to hear moments later he was no longer in his slick documentary bought $uit, that he was immediately stripped of it and was now wearing a jail house orange jump suit. FINALLY on his way to be put behind bars where he long deserved to be. As I beheld him in cuffs being led away a satisfied elated smile started at my face and traveled to my toes as I pictured him in that ill fitting orange jump suit, short in the crotch and up to his calves and elbows since he is a giant excuse for a human being. This small embarrassment rendered on such a narcissistic monster brought much satisfaction picturing him stripped of ‘things’ that were more important to him than the life of Michael Jackson.

Upstairs in the courthouse Steve Cooley held a press conference to try to claim victory and credit as if he was the one personally responsible for the guilty verdict. I laughed out loud later as I watched on TV seeing that La Toya’s leaving the court house and speaking to the press interrupted and bumped him from the screen. It was hilarious! Yes, Steve Cooley, the family of Michael Jackson IS far more important than you! All the while David Walgren who fought hard for Michael, who showed the heart of a Lion of LOVE appalled by the injustice, the atrocity of what was done to Michael stood silently by Cooley waiting patiently to say his peace. I just love that man. David Walgren our hero. There were many heroes for us MJ Fans during the trial. David Walgren a mighty warrior in Michael’s Army of Soldiers of LOVE, Deborah Brazil a strong pillar for truth “And when you refer to your instrument...”, Dr. Alon Steinberg blew the truth right out of the darkness into the light, Dr. Steven Shafer slammed the truth out of the park and put the golden seal on it. I LOVE each of them and will feel eternally grateful to all of them for publicly speaking the truth that tens of thousands of MJ fans have been sharing for over two years. Verdict Day was a great day of Good conquering Evil!

Yet there is so little justice, like table scraps we all scurry, grasping for any minuscule justice we can get. Finally ‘some’ JUSTICE for Michael. We’ll take whatever we can get. Did they count on that? Yet still now I revel at the word GUILTY. That word will forever have a different joyous meaning for me. Yet there was a nagging feeling I couldn’t shake, pressing at my heart, echoing inside, the emptiness, the silence... getting louder. Still there.. nothing had really changed... still there. The same silence that clanged like a giant door slamming shut when the light of Michael Jackson’s life left this earth. Yes there it was STILL. Although I felt Michael was there on Verdict Day, both outside and inside the courthouse many, many times all the way back to the first Airport Courthouse Arraignment of Conrat Murderer, still that feeling of silence was ever present. Nothing... nothing we ever do will bring back Michael. He is gone.... forever. There is NO JUSTICE in this tragedy. The reality is nothing will ever bring back Michael. Further true justice will only be served up by God himself for all those responsible for the death of Michael Jackson. Clearly that process of killing Michael started over 10 years ago when those that wanted what Michael had plotted and schemed to steal it from him by using vile accusations and lies to tear his spirit and heart apart. For Michel truly died of a broken heart.

Excerpt from a story about Angelica Huston who starred with him in Captain EO:

(unsure of the source)

Conrad Murray is not the first nor the last person to be privy to Michael Jackson's dream for children. In an article by Italian journalist Silvia Bizio, Anjelica Huston who played opposite Jackson in the Captain EO film for Disney, accidentally ran into Michael Jackson about a month before he died. They hugged, hunkered down in a room together and caught up on each others' lives.   Huston remembered Michael as being tender and fragile, having trouble mustering up enough anger to carry out his role as Captain EO with a spaceship crew who sings 'We are here to change the world.' She said it was as if anger didn't live in his DNA. He needed her there, in costume and sneering her lines to play off her villainous character. Huston said he seemed even more fragile especially emotionally, during their brief encounter. She put her arms around him; she says:  "We talked about how he had felt humiliated by the accusation of sexual harassment and about the sorrow for the loss of Neverland, where he had lived many years. I remember his words: 'They ruined my dream. I had this dream, perhaps childish and foolish, a place designed to celebrate the innocence of that childhood that I never had, and they took it from me. I love children, I could never do them harm. I spent all my life loving them and trying to do good things for them. The libel of harming a child--that breaks my heart. It is an unbearable pain, those accusations are unjust and terrible...' As he said these things, he began to cry. I held him in my arms...He was so skinny and frail." Jackson told her he was preparing for the London concerts. She remembers:   "He was training hard because he would have 'no more hope to be loved back again.' He wanted to be let back in to the hearts of the public after his public lynching for something he said he didn't do and a jury of his peers agreed with. Huston goes on: "he was thin and pale; I could feel so much pain in him for the past and a lot of anxiety and uncertainty for the future."  When asked by Bizio, "What do you think really killed Michael Jackson?' Anjelica Huston didn't hesitate: "Michael had a broken heart. For this he died. The truth is that they broke his heart."
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The sentencing of Conrat Murderer will be Nov. 29th. I am holding on to hope, praying that Judge Pastor will hand him the full sentence. Clearly now the whole world has seen and understands the atrocity done to Michael. Yes I’m now holding my breath and praying Judge Pastor will remain strong in his conviction of CM and sentence him to the full 4 years. Wait 4 years? YUP! Is this a joke? GUILTY of killing the King of Pop! A murdering sociopath with no conscience and the maximum sentence is 4 years? We all knew this outcome yet we fought for Michael. All the MJ fans from around the world pleaded for a second degree murder charge to no avail. Those in charge said they didn’t want to risk a higher charge taking a chance that a jury would allow him to walk. In court when the truth was exposed many were appalled asking, “Why wasn’t this charged as second degree murder?” I was told by a well meaning person at work, that I wanted to punch, “The real punishment is that he has lost his medical license.” Really? That for me is little consolation, yet still I muster joy about this too. That is until I learn after a certain amount of time he can gain back his medical license. What? The reality is as of this date only two states have cared enough about the safety of the public to revoke his medical license. He could move to Hawaii and practice there in four years. Wow is that a punishment or a reward for a job well done? This is what we fought for? This is what our hero David Walgren so valiantly fought for? My brain, my heart simply can’t accept this. All who know me know although I revel in the GUILTY verdict, I simply can’t accept this. I stood proudly in front of that court house arm in arm with many of Michael’s Soldiers of LOVE as Michael’s voice, yelling “JUSTICE for Michael Jackson!!!” “Conrad Murderer!!!” I stood at the Michael Jackson Hollywood Star hours on end handing out fliers with many other Soldiers of LOVE in an attempt to teach the public the truth about Michael’s death. I held prayer vigils, started a Michael Prayer Warrior page. I would not stop or be swayed, I had a mission. Yes the mission is accomplished, success has been achieved! Then why am I feeling so defeated? So empty?

Very Funny but soooo true. This MJ fan says it best:

I am a long time resident of California. I wish I could say I am proud of the justice system in California but I have seen how those in charge work... at the top $teve Cooley and Jerry $ Brown. Truthfully and blatantly there will NEVER be true justice for Michael Jackson. To me its not a coincidence that a new law was put into place by Jerry Brown who has been known to take campaign contributions from the owner of AEG, Philip Anschutz. The timing of this new law regarding incarceration of convicts just as Conrad Murderer approaches the end of his trial for the homicide of Michael Jackson is no coincidence. It is also no coincidence that $teve Cooley the District Attorney of Los Angeles worked with hateful, bigoted Tom Sneddon during his vindictive, racially motived attack of Michael during the trial in 2005 while he wrongly attempted to convict, publicly bullied and humiliated Michael Jackson working as no better than a Klu Klux Klan lynch mob when raiding and vandalizing Michael’s precious home like the Gestapo, and then handcuffing MJ and dragging him off to jail all before the eyes of whole world. The same $teve Cooley who worked with Tom $neddon to persecute Michael Jackson on a world wide basis is the same one who stepped in about two years ago after the coroner’s office declared Michael’s death a homicide and intervened on Murray's behalf just as the L.A.P.D was ready to go arrest him and take him away in hand cuffs. Yes it was $teve Cooley who literally stopped the arrest of Conrad Murderer for killing Michael Jackson. That’s right it was $teve Cooley who said, “No Cuffs” for Conrad Murderer AND “No Arrest” accommodating him instead to take his time and stroll in freely on his own at his leisure. Absolutely no public show of justice for a dead human being let alone the most famous person on the planet. To use Chernoff’s ridiculous closing statement, “If it were anyone else but Michael Jackson...” Conrad Murderer would have been jailed for life long ago. Yes it was $teve Cooley who arranged for Conrad Murderer to walk a free man until 11-7-11 when a jury of everyday citizens finally spoke up for JUSTICE for Michael Jackson.

There is a scripture in the Bible that speaks of being in the world but not of the world and every time I think of the injustice done to Michael Jackson while he was alive on this earth and now still after his death this verse comes to mind.

John 15:19 “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”

Yes there are no coincidences. God is in control. The evil rule this planet and Michael was chosen by God to be an Angel of LOVE in a cruel and evil world. He was too good for this evil world. He with stood so much torment and persecution in his lifetime. It was pointed out recently in a wonderful group I belong to that even the burn on Michael’s head represented the calling that the Lord placed on Michael’s life. A human being chosen for a heavenly calling even as a child and at about the same age as Christ was called into ministry on this earth Michael suffered the horrific burn that changed his life forever. Much like a crown of thorns. He strove to live a good life committed to doing what God would have him do but he was human. Just like all of us he had his frailties, fears and insecurities only for Michael they were played out on global stage. Only Jesus is perfect and that is who he looked to for his inspiration and strength.

Life can be hard. There are lessons. I know the feeling of just not wanting to feel anymore, to just sleep, as I am a recovered alcoholic and drug addict of over 30 years now. I didn't drink just because it was fun and made me feel good, underlying my drinking and drugging was sheer utter PAIN and need to escape the pain. I have walked through many things in life stumbling blindly along, praying for God to help me through, even in sobriety, wondering why I have had to experience certain things in my life. My greatest lesson in life was learning to embrace the pain. Learning I was ‘allowed’ by God to experience some of my most painful moments in life simply because God wanted me to grow and learn certain lessons. Whether it was to learn to be humble, or to share how I overcame the pain and life lessons to help others, to pray more, or just to learn to patiently wait on the Lord and trust. I can’t say I have ever really learned well or mastered any of these things. The last lesson of patiently waiting is definitely not one of my strong suits. I have gotten myself into more jams simply because I leap out before the Lord, opened my big mouth and said something stupid or hurtful or jumped into things before praying for direction. God the loving father that he is always shows up in the 11th hour and saves me from my own stupidity turning the seemingly bad into his perfect will... if I am only willing to surrender. No matter what though there is always a lesson. Michael’s life taught us all by example to reach to God for inspiration in all that we do and to always give God credit for he is our source just as he was Michael’s source and all things flow from our creator. Michael’s flow was just much more massive than the regular person’s.

Michael’s life and death taught me I know nothing. Michael’s life and all that he gave this world and all that was done to him and continues to be done to him just ingrains the lesson for me “Don’t Judge.” You must step back and test the spirits in others. I won’t allow evil to enter and control my life. I won’t allow others to walk all over me. God gave us brains to use and we must be careful who we allow into our lives for God wants us to live in peace, harmony and LOVE free from chaos and strife. I am talking about judging others by the color of their skin, their religious beliefs, how they look or the clothes they wear, their weight, or how they speak, the amount of money in their pocket, who they love, where they live. I continue to learn this lesson over and over and over. I wonder sometime if I will ever learn it properly. I have wondered what is it in humans that doesn’t allow us to see the soul and heart of a person before we draw conclusions about them, or why since we are all made from the dust of the earth and it is dust we shall return to, why humans think one would be superior over the other. Michael Jackson instinctively LOVED, instinctively knew there was no difference and it didn’t matter if you were black or white, adult or child, a security guard or a world class performer. He touched the planet with his unconditional love and taught the world what LOVE was about. It is ALL about LOVE... L.O.V.E.

On verdict day I saw the miracle of LOVE that first brought MJ fans together after his death emerge once again. A huge majority of MJ fans who had fought and battled over the last two years came together in forgiveness and love at the court house on the first day of the trial. This wonderful spirit of unity carried on all throughout the trial. Then on verdict day and afterwards at verdict parties there was once again a giant out pouring of unconditional love, hugs and camaraderie just as there had been when we were all drawn together at Holly Terrace bearing our grief over the death of Michael Jackson.

His LOVE first brought us all together, JUSTICE for MICHAEL sent us spiraling but kept us going and finally JUSTICE served brought us back together again in gratitude, jubilation and VICTORY for Michael. Again God showed himself strong mending hearts for his honor and glory. LOVE prevailed in the MJ fan community, many prayers were answered for unity, peace and love. God restored JUSTICE, LOVE and Victory for Michael Jackson, his family and his fans around the world on 11-7-11.

♥ We LOVE you Michael! ♥ We will be missing you For All Time. ♥
♥ Thank you for all you gave. ♥ RIP Michael ♥

Michael, When we say we LOVE you it's For All Time. RIP Michael.
Video by Robyn Starkand ♥

A Place Without No Name

2011-11-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

I will forever be counting backwards from June 25, 2009. The day the world stopped rotating, when millions of people in every country on this planet stopped in their tracks and just stood still in shock. The day the void was felt around the world as the shining, bright light of Michael Jackson was snuffed out, ripped from this earth, Gone Too Soon.

Soon it will be Feb. 25. Exactly 20 months since Michael Jackson died, the anniversary day when my life changed forever, along with legions of fans around the world who believed their Peter Pan, King of Pop would live forever. I ask God all the time “Am I over Michael’s death? Am I done grieving now, Lord?” My answer comes with tears that flow, but thankfully it has gotten better. I know there are many people who personally knew Michael who grieve deeply still and may not ever be over loosing their dear, beloved friend. I can’t imagine their pain and heartache. I wondered many times why I have felt so deeply the loss of Michael, a man I had never met. Yet I know there are millions of Michael Jackson fans around the world who feel as I do. I talk to them daily on the internet. I am not alone.

There are so many beautiful people I have met since Michael’s death that I would simply not have ever met otherwise… they have greatly enriched my life. Sadly with no ill intent or desire to hurt anyone’s feelings I must say I would give up those friendships in a nano-second to have Michael Jackson back in this world again. The reality most have reluctantly come to is 'acceptance' since June 25th, 2009, acceptance that Michael is gone forever. It has been a process, the whole world grieving together. We still do research via the internet looking for anything new, holding on to anything we can about Michael Jackson, especially meaningful for me are new, true stories or articles and interviews. We are very excited when someone who was blessed to spend close personal time with MJ, like Dave Nordahl or Patrick Treacy, share about their personal accounts of time with Michael. Those stories are particularly precious to me.

Michael’s creative energy and genius will be forever memorialized in videos, books and music. Everywhere are traces of MJ in this world for all time. To those who love him those touches from Michael are unmistakably EVERY WHERE you look and listen. Wonderful reminders of how he has touched, changed, inspired and encouraged people every where. I wish so much that these things would have been more openly shared when he was alive so he could have seen and appreciated how much he was loved and admired while he walked this earth. That being said I believe he is in heaven, looking down, seeing all the LOVE.

Magical things have happened at Forest Lawn, Holly Terrace in the last 20 months. Too many to list them but I will touch here on only a few. One day on a visit to Holly Terrace my friend, Robyn, looked up into the sky to see Michael's toes pose crafted in the clouds at sunset. It was dusk, Michael's favorite time of the day. After a few double takes, the consensus was, quite unmistakably, YES! God had Michael’s famous feet on display directly over Holly Terrace. It is just SO like Michael to continue to entertain his fans in magnificent and imaginative ways.

I visit Forest Lawn’s Holly Terrace on a regular basis. I love to hear the different languages at Holly Terrace from visiting fans from all over the world. Although there have been a few special, quiet, reflective visits; I have rarely ever visited when no one else was present sharing their love for Michael, tears, hugs and heartache. At times the grief is palpable and paradoxically at the same time there is so much LOVE and joy. Michael Jackson went through living hell on this earth but paradoxically he was filled with immense portions of God’s LOVE. I believe it was that grace of God’s love that carried Michael through many hellish attacks. Michael’s good friend Michael Bush, his designer and friend for over 35 years once shared with me as a fan attending the MJ Autry exhibit, "Yes Michael glowed. He glowed. He could light up a room, a stage, an arena. You could be standing in a room alone and with no sound, he would enter and the feeling in the room would change. You could just feel him. You could have your back to him and you knew he was there with no words. He lit up the room." That glow was the LOVE of God in Michael. Every day he read the Bible. Every day he prayed. Michael turned to God as his source and continues to inspire me to do the same.

Today at Holly Terrace you can still feel that LOVE on occasion… the L.O.V.E. MJ talked of, the special love that filled Michael in massive portions and enabled Michael to glow. It is as if the Lord left a bit of Michael’s shining LOVE to fill the area and bless all who visit there, all who have come to honor His chosen one.

I am remembering back to a very special time, a particular day when the MJ fans, about 30 of us at the time, visited Holly Terrace together. That spirit of LOVE that filled MJ came down from heaven so heavily on that special day and very special visit. The breath of LOVE was so thick in the air it felt as though you could cut it with a knife. I felt it meld around me like a warm flowing blanket. Then like a living breathing being it moved and covered those around me. I remember turning to others and asking, “Do you feel that? Do you FEEL the LOVE?” and wondering if they would think I had lost my mind completely. Their faces still shine in my memory smiling back at me, glowing and nodding their heads and saying “Yes, Betty, I feel it too.” We were all glowing that day. I literally reached out into the thickness to grasp at air to try to touch it still saying, “Can you feel that? Can you feel the LOVE?” The spirit of LOVE descended out of heaven and I watched as each person perked up and settled down all at the same time, there was a massive joint effort to console, comfort and reassure others that they were loved and accepted. So many present seemed to be filled with that un-matchless peace that only God’s LOVE can bring. Tears always flow at Holly Terrace but this was a much different day. As it grew dark and we were forced to leave as the park closed, I reluctantly pulled myself away. I was floating on a cloud of MJ LOVE. We all shared meaningful and caring hugs and cried tears of joy that day. We all mourned together but that day the bright light of joy, happiness and LOVE that Michael shared in this dark world touched us all. A very tangible feeling of LOVE which I wore all the way home. The most luxurious, comforting feeling so uplifting and penetrating it lasted for days. That experience is one I will never forget and will treasure forever. I will also hold those who experienced that day with me in my heart For All Time. Some have become so very special to me, and are etched forever in my heart, I love them dearly. Only God could make that day happen. Only God could share such a gift of LOVE that way to confirm to us that Michael Jackson was a chosen child in his kingdom from the beginning of time, that God LOVES the King of Pop, has him close by His side where no one can ever hurt him again. Yet also knows and acknowledges our broken hearts, our need for healing.

Then several months ago at the end of summer, I received a special invitation to go inside Holly Terrace. I was able to walk the halls openly. Visit Michael up close. It is a very beautiful place inside. The “Ascension” windows are gorgeous. There are many sculptures of children through out the halls which I am certain Michael would have loved, but sadly not one of those sculptures is near Michael’s crypt. Although they can be easily purchased and placed anywhere you specify. Not far, only just down the hall from Michael’s beautiful marble crypt at the Ascension windows is a beautiful stained glass “Christmas” window designed for Dr. Eaton, the founder of Forest Lawn, who like MJ also loved children very much. The window depicts children celebrating on Christmas morning and immediately reminded me of Michael and his children and how very much they loved Christmas.

I took my personal moments at the crypt with Michael and paid my respects and said a few words I had wanted to share with Michael for a very long time, while touching the marble Bible that stands open in front of the gates where he lays just under the floor. There are large bronze wall urns on each side of the crypt which were filled with beautiful fresh flowers and many more large and small floral bouquets were placed inside the gated area at the base of the crypt. I was astonished to learn as I drank in the scene, and this was several months ago; there was something very important missing here. There was no identifying plaque or name of any kind on Michael’s crypt. There are name placards everywhere throughout the mausoleum but the most famous man who ever lived on this earth has “No Name” on his crypt. Now here it is 20 months since Michael’s death and still Michael’s crypt has no name.

The fans can peer through the tinted glass in the door, cupping their hands just right when the sun hits the Ascension windows at just the right time of day you can see to the end of the long hall and glimpse where Michael lays. No one is allowed in unless invited and approved by security. I respect that. Forest Lawn and the family have their rules. We still go and pay our respects to Michael from outside, meet one another and share our friendship and LOVE for Michael. We are still blessed on our visits to Holly Terrace but Michael deserves MORE! Why is there no place for fans to honor Michael openly, freely? Why hasn’t Michael at the very least received a plaque with his name?

All this came rushing home for me when my friend sent me a beautiful poem. She was pouring out her heart of feeling like a wandering, lost soul searching for her King, her beloved Michael. I have posted her poem with her permission below at the end of my blog. Please take time to read it. It is lovely.

Also my son’s beautiful girlfriend, Megan, traveled to New York City and shared her pictures with me of John Lennon’s “Imagine” Memorial in Central Park, which even more so planted the feeling that Michael needs MORE! Deserves MORE! The fans cry out for a place where they can go and honor their King publicly.

In New York City‘s Central Park across the street from the Dakota apartment building where John Lennon was assassinated on Dec. 8, 1980 there is a simple, circular, black and white tile, mosaic memorial and at the center the word “Imagine”. One simply can not read that word and not think of John Lennon. Hundreds of fans visit daily from around the world and freely leave flowers or tokens of love and respect for John Lennon.

Then surprisingly in Havana, Cuba, where his music was once banned, John Lennon was celebrated as a hero and immortalized in bronze by Fidel Castro, who in his later years considered Lennon a "fellow dreamer" and personally unveiled the statue in 2000 along with a tribute concert to John Lennon.

Then of course there is Elvis’ Memorial at Graceland which most certainly pays great homage to him. In thinking about Graceland and how beautifully they honor Elvis and allow the fans access to visit and leave flowers and tokens of love for him in beautiful ways that all can openly see, it certainly gave root to the feeling that having Michael back home at Neverland, with it fully restored to the glory days when MJ was happiest there with his children would be a wonderful thing indeed.

Jimmy Hendrix too has a beautiful memorial at Greenwood Memorial Park in
Renton, WA, his home town, which honors his creativity and a heart searching for love. It stands as a wonderful testament to the artistic talent God gave him. His own portrait and signature forever engraved on his tomb.

These wonderful entertainers who died tragic deaths are freely and openly honored. Fans visit and show their love and respect from all over the world. Yet for the most famous, the biggest entertainer in the world, the one who owned “The Catalog”, the one who continues to bring in BILLIONS of dollars for Sony and the Estate there is no fan access to his grave and STILL NO NAME plaque honoring Michael Jackson.

MJ’s unreleased 2009 Song “A Place Without No Name “
To me this double negative actually means ‘Take me to a place WITH a name!’ Could this have been prophetic? When it comes to MJ it is highly possible.

~ LOST Army of LOVE ~

We have no place to say goodbye
We have no place to stand and cry

We try to find a place close to your heart
To try and understand why you had to part

We write notes, burn candles and flowers we bring
We try to stay close to you, as we watch you dance and sing

We have lost a part of us and can’t believe you are not here
For all the photos and memories of you, we still hold dear

It's just so hard we have no place to grieve
But you are everywhere or so we believe

We go to Forest Lawn, Carolwood, Hayvenhurst
and Neverland just so we can see your face
But we are lost and have no tangible place

We are very sad, your Lost Army of L.O.V.E
We still try to find you in the moon and stars above

We listen to the wind, see the flowers and butterflies
And hope your spirit and soul did one night rise

We hope you are at peace and rest in your eternal sleep
Michael you were our gift so in our hearts safe we will always keep...

We have no place to say goodbye
We have no place to stand and cry

© Copyright Robyn Starkand July 9, 2010

Michael's Heart Shines Forever

2011-10-08T14:21:00.000-07:00

“Sometimes, when one person is missing,

the whole world seems depopulated." by Lamartine

"Through My Joy And My Sorrow, In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow...
I'll Never Let You Part For Your Always In My Heart." ~ Michael Jackson

To hear his voice in the tape was excruciating... completely paralyzing... yet in that slow, arduous, speech shone through the giant Royal King Michael we all love and will always cherish. His pure heart of gold shining through rising up like the Phoenix. His voice rising above all the ashes of the repugnant attacks this world heaped upon him. Blazing brighter than any evil blitz or character assassination ever thrust upon him while he walked this earth or for that matter since he has been gone. As if speaking from the grave Michael's words echoed around this globe with complete clarity, melting hearts, wiping out FINALLY all vilification.

Michael was a bigger than life person who lived with a hurting, tortured soul not by choice but because of his personal life experience... because of what was inflicted upon his tender soul. Michael was not meant for this wicked and cruel world... he was much too good to survive here amongst the evil doers.

A musical genius who traveled this world multiple times drawing in millions of people to experience his creative, God gifted genius, setting and breaking world records with his cutting edge, innovative performances. Everything Michael did was BIGGER than life especially his love for children. For everything Michael gave this world was in the end... always to help the children. He included them in every show, in every tour. Visiting hospitals and orphanages every where he toured and ALWAYS leaving the children, staff and institutions better for his having been there. Michael Jackson loved beyond all measure with altruistic, benevolent, pure motives in every note he sang, dance move and spin that thrilled the world. Michael whose giant LOVE for healing children and restoring LOVE to this sick, love starved planet was never squelched.

As I sat and listened to him slowly speak at first I was shocked and horrified... I had a panicked desire to some how stop it...stop the tape... to protect him... then I realized these words which have now echoed around the world stand as a final testament to the giant stature of our Royal King of LOVE, Michael Jackson. These slow painstakingly delivered words FINALLY prove to all the accusers, haters, doubters, the under handed media and the slanderous money mongers how truly genuine, authentically pure Michael's motives of transparent innocent LOVE for children have always been. No matter what mud slinging was thrown at Michael he could not ever help who God created him to be. He was God's chosen Angel of LOVE to this modern battered evil planet.

Not even the sickly drug induced state inflicted by a greedy sociopathic hack could prevent Michael's Heart of LOVE from pouring out. No it only shone brighter for all the world to hear. His desire to LOVE and heal this world's children... his children. His words: "I love them. I love them because I didn’t have a childhood. I had no childhood. I feel their pain. I feel their hurt." Michael Jackson who suffered so much in his tortured life is the only person I have ever in my lifetime witnessed on this planet who truly was motivated completely by LOVE. He was a gift from God.

In his agonizingly slow speech his tender words rise above the hate, the agony, the torment, the unbearable pain inflicted upon him his entire adult life as he endeavors and succeeds yet one more time to teach the world about LOVE. Our teacher. The Master of LOVE.

In 2005 Michael had to abandon his plans to build a children's hospital on the east coast because of the evil lies and accusations that were heaped upon him. It was his dream to build children's hospitals to help heal the sick children in the world. To hear his words that God wanted him to do this, to carry out this altruistic plan only cements for the world his luminous, transparent heart of gold. Anyone who clearly can not see Michael Jackson's true innocent heart after listening to this tape is just pure evil.

Credit to Debbie for this photo and
the photo at the start of the post

“We have to be phenomenal. When people leave this show, when people leave my show, I want them to say, I’ve never seen nothing like this in my life. Go. Go. I’ve never seen nothing like this. Go. It’s amazing. He’s the greatest entertainer in the world. I’m taking that money, a million children, children’s hospital, the biggest in the world. Michael Jackson’s Children’s Hospital. Gonna have a movie theatre, game room. Children are depressed. They’re in those hospitals, no game room, no movie theatre. They're sick because they’re depressed. Their mind is depressing them. I want to give them that. I care about them… them angels. God wants me to do it. God wants me to do it. I’m gonna do it.  Don’t have enough hope, no more hope. That’s the next generation that’s gonna save our planet, starting with... United States, Europe, Prague. My babies. They walk around with no mother. They drop them off, they leave...a psychological degradation of that. They reach out to me... “Please take me with you.” I want to do that for them. I’m gonna do that for them. That will be remembered more than my performances. My performances will be up there helping my children and always be my dream. I love them. I love them because I didn’t have a childhood. I had no childhood. I feel their pain. I feel their hurt. I can deal with it. Heal The World, We Are The World, Will You Be There, The Lost Children. These are the songs I’ve written because I hurt, you know? I hurt.”  

~ Michael Jackson May 10, 2009

People who personally knew Michael Jackson are responding to the tape of Michael speaking and sharing about Michael's Loving nature. Scroll down.

Jonathan "Sugarfoot" Phillip Moffett - Michael's drummer since he was a child, shares his broken, bleeding heart immediately after hearing Michael's voice on the court tape:

" 'NOW'. . . 'NOW' Will You Understand?" 'Those Of You' who Doubted. . . 'Those Of You' who Accused. . . 'Those Of You' were 'SO' Insensitive?. . . Those Who Didn't . . . Couldn't Understand? You 'Ridiculed', 'Judged', and 'Persecuted', 'Hounded'. . . Drove him into the Ground! Now, do you see? After hearing the Recordings Yesterday? The Recordings from the 'Heart Of His Soul'? EVEN when and while he was in the control of and under the influence of his 'Handlers', who aided, abetted and supplied his Impairment of 'State Of Being'... Yet 'EVEN' under it's influence his 'Heart, Mind, and Soul' was focused on 'Caring'. Caring for 'Others' Other Than Himself. Dedicating his Future, his Life, his Heart, his Mind, and his Soul, to the Needs Of Those 'Who are Left To Suffer', "Under No One's Watch" other than his. EVEN In The Face Of What 'HE' was dealing with as was evident on the 'Betrayal' taped recording. From a Genuine Loving Man these sentiments flowed. "My Babies!". "My Children!" "I must help them." "They need help." "I want to help them." "I Love Them All!!!" Angelic, indeed. A Loving Man who Walked and Labored among us. Bore Compassion for and with Others in mind. "Can You Finally See the 'Beautiful Man'. . . 'Wonderful Human Being?" Truly, Honestly Wonderful!!! The 'Angel Among Us'! Doing "GOD's Work." "GOD's Will." 'Behind the Scenes'... 'Un-Publicized.' Hopes and Dreams Recorded in private. . . though by Betrayal. Now that he's gone. . . Dreams Un-Fulfilled. . . Hopes 'All' Gone. . . 'Done'. . . Those who doubted. . . You 'NOW' have compassion on The 'One' who showed, Had and Bore Compassion for and towards 'SO Many' others in dire need. All those who now will 'Never' come to know, the benefits of his Hearts Desire to Help them. Help that because of what has been done, will and shall never come. . . Help, now Never to arrive for All those he spoke and Hurt for. Now, . . . this Hope has been Quieted, . . Heart, Mind and Soul Silenced. .... . . . In cheating him of his life, efforts and dreams, . . you have Cheated and Deprived, the Desperate Children All Over The World who needed him. All those with 'NO HOPE'. His help and caring was forthcoming. Now, never to be realized. Thus, they'll continue to suffer, trapped within their spirits, hearts, souls and minds of depression. For their "ANGEL OF CARE" has been taken away by negligence. "Fallen"... So Sad this world to be if we can't even 'Recognize' an 'ANGEL Of THE LORD' come to save 'HIS' SEED"......................"LET US PRAY"....
Much Love, Jonathan Moffett
"One Love, For All" "All, For One Love"....

Michael's brother Jermaine Jackson on Twitter:

I hope the "rent-a-pundits" on TV were listening to this week's lab results that prove there was no Demerol in Michael's body when he died. Finally, the truth comes out to nail the speculative bullshit that has filled air-time by people who prefer to fill in the blanks rather than stick to facts from court: that there is NO evidence of what my brother was 'under' at the time of Murray's audio recording; there is NO evidence that Michael was "addicted" to Propofol as some, like Dr Drew, have guessed; there is NO evidence that Michael's insomnia was linked to Demerol usage (a defense theory)

Jackie, Marlon and Tito Jackson talk about Michael's LOVE for others.

Attorney Thomas Mesereau in an interview with Joy Behar (let me say here I would never in a million years think I'd post Joy Behar on my blog as I just can't stand her. She is one of the lying pundits from the media who have always bashed MJ for fun and profit. I admire Tom Mesereau so very much as he takes her head on and with his cunningly fast mind, armed with the truth sets her in her place with ease and grace)

Here is a link to the video of the interview and the transcription just below:
http://insession.blogs.cnn.com/2011/09/30/joy-behar-michael-jacksons-story-reminds-me-of-judy-garland/

MESEREAU: "The other thing I want to say is, that I consider Michael to have been one of the nicest, kindest human beings ever created. He had a mission to try and help the world. Even when he`s intoxicated, if he is, and slurring his words and it`s very sad to listen to, he still was talking about building a children`s hospital. That`s the Michael I knew -- caring, decent, honorable, and wanting to use his greatest talents to help the world.

BEHAR: Yes. And also very interested in his audience and giving them the best show, even when he is slurring and under some kind of sedation. That is obvious to me.

But the thing I can`t make sense of is why Conrad Murray would record this in the first place? Do you have any thoughts on that?

MESEREAU: Yes, I do. Unfortunately, Michael Jackson attracted one profiteer after another. I don`t think Michael really trusted any adult. He was just -- felt that everyone who got near him eventually, you know, showed their true colors and wanted to get something out of him."

Reverend Al Sharpton speaks out in defense of Michael Jackson via the Huffington Post, also witnessing to Michael's incredible generosity and ability to embrace the world in LOVE.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-al-sharpton/michael-jackson-trial_b_987164.html

Gladys Knight shares her feelings about Michael's heart of LOVE and his true character. This is an older video made right after Michael's Funeral at Holly Terrace but clearly speaks of the real Michael Jackson.

"I Have This Dream" ~ Michael Jackson

Michael wrote this song out of his deep compassion for the suffering after Hurricane Katrina devastated Louisiana. One more time he rose above evil and endeavored to raise money to help the needy. Sadly his dream to bring this assistance to fruition was stopped. Michael announced his intention to record this charity single dedicated to the victims of Hurricane Katrina entitled, "I Have This Dream".

Musicians included in this endeavor who were to lend their voices to this beautiful song were Ciara, Snoop Dogg, R. Kelly, Keyshia Cole, James Ingram, Michael Jackson's brother Jermaine Jackson, Shanice, Shirley Caesar and The O'Jays.

Raymone Bain, Michael's manager at the time stated the list of performers included Mary J. Blige, Missy 'Misdemeanor' Elliott, Jay-Z, James Brown and Lenny Kravitz; however later all of these artists appeared to be no longer participating.

The Katrina Charity Single remains unreleased to this day.

Sunflowers - Call For LOVE Sept. 27, 2011

2011-10-02T17:47:00.000-07:00

Now FINALLY this last week after all these years of calling Michael a freak, pedophile, drug addict and on and on... more eyes of the media and the world are opening to the loving, kind, generous and amazing person Michael Jackson really was. There still are those such as Diane Dimond, Oprah, Joy Behar and Dr. Drew intent on slandering Michael’s name but increasingly people who really knew Michael Jackson are speaking up during this trial with passion, talking about the real man, the real Michael Jackson. Positive press about Michael is music to my ears. There are still many media pundits, coincidentally working the crowd at the court house this day, who brutally bashed Michael during his trial in 2005. A point not lost on myself or others and they have not gained my trust. Now conveniently they are supporting Michael if for nothing more than ratings; however with the truth being spoken by even these media people many are now finally learning the truth about MJ.

Several people I know who are not MJ fans have approached me and asked, “Betty, how did he die? Tell me what is going on. What happened to Michael Jackson?" I am proud they come to me. Their eyes are opening to the atrocity of the world wide bullying that was inflicted upon Michael, how he was tortured by the media and others. In a way I am amazed it has taken them so long to notice or care but then they are sincerely asking me about Michael, this is a very good thing. What they are realizing is the magnitude of lies, slander and bullying that was heaped upon Michael. Suddenly they realize if it can happen to the world's most famous celebrity then maybe it can happen to them. They are identifying with Michael. One by one I share "Michael's Heart" of LOVE, generosity, caring, compassion, genius, musicality, creativity, his deep, deep desire to heal the world, children and the planet. The Michael that the true MJ fans all know and LOVE. They walk away thinking differently with compassion in the hearts for Michael Jackson. Some are moved to tears. Some come back for further discussions. The eyes are opening. People are listening and care...yes even the media. Many, many times I have been to the courthouse throughout the arraignments and never felt the sway in Michael's behalf from the media I felt on Tues. Sept 27th.

It is very hard to keep love in your heart when you are faced with people yelling in your face and bullying you in front of the courthouse. Faced with lies being spread by CM, the defense and the media. Faced with seeing Conrad Murray in person. It is a whole different ball of wax than sitting on FaceBook and posting about "LOVE" or praying as I do on a regular basis. The reality is the emotions well up and take over. I am not at all sorry for anything I have yelled at Conrad Murray or in protests in front of the court house. Yes, to me he IS a "Murderer" and figuratively a "Dead Man Walking." No matter what the outcome of this trial hopefully his life of money, women, greed and selfishness is ‘over’ and deservingly so. Prince, Paris and Blanket will never again have there daddy to hold them and tuck them in at night because of what this man did to their father. I want to see with all my heart that justice is served for Michael. I want the media to know how I feel and how millions of MJ fans feel. I have previously stood in peaceful gatherings for Michael where the media have called us clowns, a circus, crazy, fanatics...etc. Of course inevitably there are always a tiny handful of MJ fans who insist on dressing up in shabby MJ Halloween costumes with strange makeup, some even attempt to sing and dance like Michael in front of the court house. Completely oblivious of how disrespectful and selfish they appear. It is sad because their bizarre behavior inevitably turns the focus on them and away from JUSTICE for Michael and in the end only makes the fans ‘look’ crazy as the media is always eager to paste their pictures front and center. Anything these fans have to say about justice or Michael’s real true character is negated. Every time they make their appearance it makes me wonder what they actually see when they look in the mirror all dressed up. I am certain it has nothing to do with the reality of what is looking back at them. Yet I know they love Michael Jackson with all their hearts.

Arriving very early in the morning while it was still dark I found groups of sheriffs at the courthouse doors, media on both sides of the entrance in the court yard and Dr. Barry Friedberg, an anesthesiologist, who is fighting for the truth to be known about what happened to Michael was there. Finding myself as the only MJ fan in front of the courthouse and having just finished a conversation with Dr. Friedberg where I had thanked him for speaking out, I started to move down to my spot on the street where I would meet the florist, when CM's supporters standing at the front entrance came at me loudly yelling, "You can't stand here! This area is for Conrad Murray supporters! You have to stand over there!" as they pointed to a smaller area up the hill from were I stood. Along with Charlene Burgess from a FaceBook page "Call For LOVE" I'd arranged to take delivery of 100 sunflowers from "Downtown Flowers" an incredible florist very near the courthouse, who openly supports MJ fans and loves Michael Jackson. Looking up the hill to where they were pointing, in appalled disbelief, I thought, "Oh no... you didn't just tell me to go away and stand there, did you?" The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I looked back at this delusional group. I then nonchalantly walked in front of them and stood right where they were claiming their stance. I could have meekly acquiesced but instead my lion heart for Michael reared up and the protesting rebel I have been all my life retorted, "You can't tell me where to stand. I have been planning a florist delivery right here in this spot for months. This is a public sidewalk. If you don't like where I am standing then you are the ones who need to move!" They continued to assault me with their words and pushed into my space to intimidate and force me away. I closed my eyes as they stood in front of me, spewing their hot breath in my face, spouting meaningless words and prayed, asking God what to do. Then with renewed conviction opened my eyes, stubbornly rooted myself, stood my ground with a few choice words including "Idiots" to a couple of fools in particular, declared "Conrad Murray Murdered Michael Jackson!" then turning my head would not look at them but silently and determinedly STOOD. Silence then spoke louder than words. I do apologize to the FaceBook page 'Call For LOVE' I was representing if this isn't in line with the 'Peace' and 'LOVE' we had all prayed for and envisioned for many, many months but it is what came out of my mouth, from my heart and what I felt needed to be said. Then as I stood in my position directly in front of the CM supporters I reached in my purse and pulled out a bright yellow T-shirt that a loyal UK MJ fan, Susan Brookes, had given me to take to the court house which served as the loudest declaration. On the back it has CM's pic and the words ‘Dr. Death’ and ‘JUSTICE for MICHAEL JACKSON.’ So with determined fortitude I held it up directly facing a long line of media cameras on the other side of the street and stood my ground for Michael alone.

It was still dark out and the CM supporters continued to come over to me making unbelievable statements about Michael killing himself, that he was a drug addict and most appallingly how much Conrad Murray 'loved' Michael and how Michael loved him, but there were very few words to say to them except several times when they came at me I emphatically expressed, "You need to get out of my face. You need to walk away from me NOW! JUSTICE for Michael Jackson!" Finally they left me alone as more MJ supporters showed up and stood with me in front of them blocking their signs. Two beautiful girls from Norway were the first to stand with me. The CM supporters also attempted to intimidate them telling them to leave. They looked at me wondering what to do as I stood my ground and I encouraged them to do what clearly was already in their hearts saying, "You can stand where ever you want. They can't tell you where to stand. We are here for Michael. Block them." They took position next to me and we stood together. It wasn’t long before increasingly more MJ supporters from all over the world and spanning many generations joined us as the sun rose over Clara Shortridge Courthouse in downtown L.A.

It was a huge relief when the sunflowers showed up and we were able to hand out those brilliant yellow flowers representing LOVE, PEACE, UNITY and JUSTICE for Michael Jackson. One CNN reporter from the long line of cameras across the street came to me and said, "I watched you this morning and couldn't believe what you did. You are very brave. Standing up against all those men alone like that. I just had to come and interview you." I didn't feel brave at all, just adamant, and was very surprised at her comment... I just needed to stand for Michael...with every fiber of my being... I just needed to stand for JUSTICE for Michael Jackson. What more could I give? As she interviewed me I thought, "If only I could have been there for Michael inside that house on the night of June 24, 2009." How many of us have had that thought? If only we could have been there to take care Michael...to keep the monsters away...to keep Murray and those surrounding Michael who had no thought of his well being away. He would still be here. If only MJ's Soldiers of LOVE could have been there...any one of us...with a deep sigh, I gave her an interview. She was not a typical reporter to me, she was a friendly, nice lady about my own age who wanted to hear about why we love Michael so much. That was not a difficult thing to share...ending my interview with these words, “It’s the first day of justice and that’s really exciting, but there’s not going to be any real justice. It won’t bring him back.”

http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/justice/jackson-fans-murray-trial-scene/

On this day, the first day of the trial of Conrad Murray for the manslaughter of Michael Jackson there were many MJ fan groups and media present. There has been so much fighting in the MJ community and as a result the Call for LOVE FaceBook page and many MJ fan websites have been praying for Peace, Unity and Solidarity for Michael especially for this particular day, praying for a united front of LOVE and support for Michael. The sunflowers were the original idea and vision from Jan Carlson who believed with all her heart Michael wanted this to happen. I too felt this to be true and was the person on the ground representing in whatever way I could to help this vision come to fruition for all these lovely women who do not live near Los Angeles who couldn't be here physically to support justice on this important day. It is always such a blessing and honor when the LORD uses me to help those who can’t be here in L.A. physically but are here in spirit for Michael via letters, signs, banners or flowers. For months I’d been posting my blog entitled “Will You Be There?” and had approached several different groups who had issues and ill feelings toward one another to join the Call for LOVE sunflower movement. It took a lot for me to do this as I too had my own issues and ill feelings which soon completely fell away in approaching each of them. Thankfully the LORD continues to work on me daily.

I stood ready with sunflowers and white roses when the Jackson family arrived; however chaos ensued as they pulled up to the curb. The Sheriff deputy would not allow me to hand the roses to the Jackson women. One group leader hopped out into the street and attempted to walk over to Mrs. Jackson to give her a sunflower but the Sheriff deputies stopped her as well. The Sheriffs did not stop La Toya though who knew about the Call for LOVE Sunflowers and made sure to secure a sunflower when she walked into court and brought it back out with her at the end of the day.

The Lord did not fail to answer our prayers. What I witnessed at the courthouse on Sept. 27th was so beautiful and I so want to believe Michael would have been very proud of his fans this day. The MJ fans stood as one. Many but not all members of groups accepted and held the sunflowers but ALL were offered a sunflower of LOVE for Michael. I would not allow the ill feelings of some to affect my mobilization of the sunflower army. What is more important is that over all every single group put their personal feelings aside joining in LOVE, Solidarity, Unity and JUSTICE for Michael Jackson. There were people who came as sunflower distributors from different groups and FB pages for sheer LOVE and support of Michael Jackson; Robyn Starkand, Rita Bosico, Joanie Clark, April Smith and Linda Henry. The Call for LOVE page and myself are sending out a great Big THANK YOU and hug to each of you. They were a huge blessing as I knew they were eagerly carrying bundles of yellow, petaled LOVE off into the crowd and even to members of the media. Michael Jackson's Soldiers of LOVE were armed with heartfelt signs, arm bands and... sunflowers. It made an amazing statement of LOVE for Michael. The message was conveyed to the world that: “MJ fans STILL LOVE Michael Jackson and always will! We are not going anywhere! We are here to STAND in LOVE, UNITY and JUSTICE for MICHAEL JACKSON!”

One In Session HLN reporter stated that it was truly amazing to watch the stand of solidarity and support from the MJ fans, even in the midst of the CM supporters. He seemed very surprised, and almost disappointed as media usually are, to see that we were all standing in LOVE with no altercations in spite of the high emotional tension. Obviously he didn’t hear the comments earlier in the morning but all in all it was a very peaceful clash of opinions. I heard another reporter for In Session describing the scene of the crowd in front of the courthouse as “... MJ fans are everywhere showing their love for their fallen icon, holding MJ signs, also you see CM supporters and signs, there are media from all over the world, MJ fans from all over the world...” then at the end of her description, "... and then there are the sunflowers... those sunflowers!"

Fans at home watching the proceedings texted and called fans on the outside of the court house with news of what was going inside the courtroom. Our hearts were broken to hear a death bed picture of Michael on a gurney had been seen and tape had been shared. I would later watch the taped proceedings at home on In Session. For me it was too much to hear about on this day. Fans have been researching and studying all that applies to Michael Jackson's death now for over two years and these new details were shocking. My heart was again broken and it felt as if I were reliving the loss of Michael Jackson on June 25th, 2009 all over again.

It was now 11:00 a.m., my mission was complete and I needed to be back at work for the remainder of the day. I took a few sunflowers in hand for a memory of the day, with a deep feeling of accomplishment of our LOVE for Michael I felt a spring in my step as I swiftly walked several city blocks back to my car. I stood at an intersection crosswalk waiting for the light to change when a man about 30 years old asked what the sunflowers were for. I explained about the first day of the trial, that I was a huge MJ fan, how we all stood for Justice at the court house for Michael and the sunflowers from Call for LOVE. He smiled big and shared he was a long time MJ fan too, had many of his CD's, had followed him for years and had seen 'This Is It' three times. He shared how sad it was for him that Michael was gone, especially how he left this world and I could feel his sadness. Then he said would you mind if I had one of your sunflowers. Immediately I said, "Absolutely, here you go" and handed him a sunflower and just like so many of the fans at the courthouse his face lit up as he smiled. We walked together to our cars and talked about Michael as we went, then said our goodbyes with a big smile. There were many fans this day who had traveled many long miles to be at the courthouse to support JUSTICE for Michael. They would be standing off to the side, looking a bit like they didn't quite know what to do, then we would offer them a sunflower and their faces would light up and they would begin to tell us where they were from. Each had a story of love, each had to be there for Michael.

My mission fulfilled, my assignment for this particular day for Michael and Call for LOVE was accomplished. It was an honor to represent and work the front line fighting for JUSTICE and LOVE for the beautiful loving members from Call for LOVE... and most importantly for Michael Jackson who NEVER stopped giving of himself to his fans and the world.

Credit to Bonnie Lamrock of MJ-Upbeat for this amazing picture of Michael praying over the courthouse.

This month will be very difficult as we continue to hear more of the details of Michael’s death. Please everyone keep praying for JUSTICE for Michael, his children and his family and for the truth to be known. God is answering our prayers.

Thank you Robyn Starkand for this beautiful video of the first day and first week of the trial.

Will You Be There? Sept 27th

2011-09-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

LET’S RISE ABOVE

Call For LOVE
A Plea for Unity and Solidarity
To the Michael Jackson Fan Community

Come Join In and Hold a Sunflower for Michael

Be at the courthouse
on Sept. 27th at 8:00 a.m. for Justice for Michael Jackson

Michael’s fans around the world are calling for peace, this is their deepest heart's wish. This is a call to ALL Michael Jackson fans to join together in front of the courthouse on the first day of the Conrad Murray trial.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's ALL come together and make a STAND, a STATEMENT

to the world that we are still here for MICHAEL and we are NOT going ANYWHERE!

Please try to be at the court house on Sept. 27th to make this stand of LOVE and JUSTICE for Michael and to support the Jacksons. If you can't be there in person please pray for this PEACE gathering and support us from where ever you are in the world. We need your support and prayers.

UNITE In PRAYER, UNITY and SOLIDARITY
Supporting JUSTICE For MICHAEL
ONE VOICE

Where and When:
Sept. 27, 2011

Lottery for tickets to obtain a seat inside the court room is at 7:30a.m. PST.

Only 6 seats are available.

'Call For LOVE' Sunflower Stand for JUSTICE for Michael will be:
8:00 a.m. PST
- in the front courtyard

Clara Shortridge Foltz Criminal Justice Center/Courthouse - courtyard

210 West Temple Street

Los Angeles, California 90012

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please come and join hands in SOLIDARITY for JUSTICE for MICHAEL JACKSON. Let's show the world that we STILL LOVE and SUPPORT Michael Jackson and ALWAYS WILL.

We plan to do our best to join in and hold hands in an extended line across the courtyard or on the front upper sidewalk in rows or around the building or where ever we are permitted to do so. We are His Voice Now. If you can make it please come and stand in SOLIDARITY for JUSTICE FOR MICHAEL JACKSON.

The reality is there has been so much bickering and hurtful mud slinging and accusations, so much fighting in the fan community of Southern California in the last year and as the trial approaches I feel a huge tug on my heart to reach out to all fans all over the world; especially in Southern California and beseech each and every one of you who ever loved Michael Jackson in anyway what so ever to lay aside your feelings of anger, hurt, resentment, personal vendettas or ill feelings toward one another and UNITE in PEACE for Michael.

Please join in. Let’s mobilize, to make a stand in PEACE and UNITY for JUSTICE for Michael. No matter what group you belong to, no matter what shirt you wear, no matter what avenue of belief about how or why Michael died or who was responsible, no matter if you bought the new CD or agree with the Estate or not, no matter whom you may hold accountable for his death or even if you believe he isn’t really dead… PLEASE join together as ONE in PEACE and UNITY for one day, the first day of the trial in front of the court house in Los Angeles.

If you live too far away to physically attend please be there in spirit for Michael. No matter where you live, please come together in prayer for PEACE, UNITY and JUSTICE for Michael Jackson. Support all attending by lifting us up in prayer and if you don’t pray then lift up everyone attending at the court house with your good thoughts and support.

Michael Needs You!
Michael’s Children and Family Need Your Support!

LET’S MAKE MICHAEL PROUD OF US!

Please read the following note from MJ fan Jan Carlson 3/26/2011:

For those of you planning on being outside the courthouse to support Mrs. Katherine Jackson and the Jackson family in their attendance at the trial, close your eyes for a moment and picture this:

Hundreds of Michael Jackson’s fans from around the world gathered together to demonstrate unity and solidarity with their cause in prayerful, respectful silence.
Imagine the family approaching the courthouse for what will, undoubtedly, be a very emotionally-trying several months and encountering hundreds of people with heads bowed in reverent memory of their son and father and brother instead of a seething mass of humanity undulating in angry waves with their clenched fists raised in the air.
Imagine Katherine and Prince, Paris and Blanket walking towards the courthouse in Los Angeles surrounded by silent, mindful people who show their awareness of the solemnity of the occasion by holding banners framing pictures of their son and daddy and words like “You Are Not Alone” and “We Are Here With You” and “We Are The World” and “We Remember Michael” and “Michael’s Army of Love” emblazoned in giant letters across them.
Picture clusters of people singing the words to one of Michael’s many songs with messages of peace and forgiveness, holding hands while singing You Are Not Alone or Heal the World or Hold My Hand or “We can change the world, you don’t have to do it by yourself. We can touch the sky. Gonna take all of us to help. We’re the chosen ones.” Wouldn’t that be more healing than hurling bitter feeling?

And for all of us stuck at home and unable to be in Los Angeles for the trial, wouldn’t our spiritual support for the peaceful demonstration pictured above accompanied by visualizing the most beneficial outcome for all concerned be a more healing substitute for the bitter judgments in which we are currently engaging?

Do you want the world to pay attention to what you are demonstrating for? Prayerful silence is the shot heard ‘round the world … deafening. News crews will be totally speechless … they won’t know what to think or say. It would be so beautiful to watch their dumbfounded faces as they tried to comprehend what they were seeing.
Do we want the world … and Michael’s family … to know that we got it?
Do you want to scare the plain, unsparkly socks off the medialoid?
Do you want to shame the Dimonds and Bashirs and Sneddons right out of their lying little hearts.
It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

Credit and thanks to Debbie for the beautiful ONE MJ picture.

Spanish Face Book fans asking for peace (please copy and paste URL):

https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=120708128004331

Who'z Bad?! Enough to Live a Life of
Peace and Non-Violence?!
Take the pledge for Peace and Non Violence at The Michael Jackson Tribute Portrait
(please copy and paste URL):
http://www.michaeljacksontributeportrait.com/article.php?article_id=238

Ground Breaking! Cirque du Soleil - Montreal, Canada

2011-09-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

This was an experience I never thought I'd have. A once in a lifetime experience I could not turn down. I had received an invitation to represent my dear friend Bonnie Lamrock from MJ-Upbeat who had been invited by the Estate to view the Michael Jackson Immortal Tour in Montreal, Canada before it's premier. This was an unprecedented invitation, never before had MJ fans been invited to such an event.

The trip to Canada was top secret, and only a handful of fans from a few different Michael Jackson websites around the world were invited to attend. I was one of two ‘new comers’ to the group of long time Michael fans and had no idea who would be there. All I knew was: I was going to Cirque du Soleil in Montreal to see the ‘Michael Jackson Immortal World Tour’ final dress rehearsal. Representing Bonnie and MJ-Upbeat was an amazingly incredible honor for me. She is a wonderful, loving friend. Bonnie has been an inspiration to me for over two years. I met her shortly after Michael’s death. Her heart was shattered, she was completely devastated, yet there she was day in and day out for Michael and his fans, working hard to support and reach out to those who needed comfort and reassurance. Truly I don’t know how she did it, except that her generous loving heart, which is so very much like Michael’s, all that Michael taught her over the years, and God carried her through. I was one of those MJ fans Bonnie opened her fractured heart to. She reached out to me and connected with me and because of her kindness, understanding, encouragement and support I had a lifeline, a life preserver in a sea of grief. To those of us drowning in the pain and heartbreak from Michael’s death Bonnie and her beautiful website MJ Up-beat was our anchor and still is. Every day at work on my breaks and racing home at night I could not wait to get to the website and my emails from her. She opened her heart to me and I will never forget that. She has been an MJ fan for many, many years. She worked hard for Michael especially during the trial and runs her website with dignity and LOVE always displaying an open mind, kindness and sensitivity to Michael, his fans and others since 2003. She had been invited to Montreal for this fan event and could not attend, generously asking me to go in her place. I was so honored and thrilled to accept her invite and promised I would do my best to represent her and MJ-Upbeat and make her proud.

Here I am again asking “How can this be?” Someone one pinch me please... yes this is for real. Still there was that nagging feeling that someone might tap me on the shoulder and say, “Sorry, oops made a mistake.” Yet there I was getting on the plane... yes it was for real, really happening. Again I wondered how can this be?

It was in Feb. 2010 on the way to the Airport Courthouse for the 1st arraignment of Conrad Murray that I heard Michael’s voice so clearly. My music was blasting in my car. I like to play MJ’s music loud. I love the way his voice fills my mind and heart. Cranked up very loud so his vibrato... the vibrato like no other fills my senses and energizes my soul. His voice, his music the backdrop of my life. I prayed out loud “Lord please give me a sign. Lord if you truly want me to go to this court house hearing and support Justice for Michael Jackson then show me.” It was then with pristine clarity that I immediately heard Michael’s voice louder than any other sound, speaking in my mind over the music playing loudly in my car say to me, ”It’s an adventure. We’re going to go places we’ve never been before, do things we’ve never done before.” Yes, Michael clearly has shown me so much since that day and even before. I realize now it was so long ago that he began teaching me... about LOVE, humility, art, creativity, music, perfection, compassion. His essence, his love changing my life and millions of others lives forever.

So there I was still pinching myself, thinking, “Wow Michael, I could never have dreamed you’d lead me here to this time and place.” Now I sit at 38,000 feet in the air typing this story. Thanking the Lord for blessing my life with so many wonderful lessons in LOVE, from my inspiration, Michael Jackson. The biggest lesson of all being: LOVE... Don't judge!

I was thrilled and grateful to have my son drive me to the airport and visit with me until it was time to leave, he works in travel and assures me with information about currency rates and airport boarding procedures. God bless him. He knows I’m nervous as I haven’t flown since I was a young girl and well we won’t get into how long ago that was. He is such a wonderful man. My heart over flows as it never fails when I look at my son I see LOVE looking back. His support means the world to me and his patience and kindness is most evident when he listens attentively as I gush with Michael stories. This day I felt like a kid at Christmas bubbling over with excitement and anticipation of what the next two days will hold, hardly sleeping the night before, I simply could not begin to imagine what was in store.

It was time to board and take off for my flight to Montreal, Canada. I embraced my son, my heart over flowing for him... and also for what was to come for me. Waved goodbye and took those steps into the unknown.

I soon realize airports are unfriendly places. I will start conversations with complete strangers yet here that doesn't happen. No one speaks to one another. Everyone wrapped up in their own thoughts and business. Invisible lines of protection surrounding hundreds with very little interaction unless they are in a group or a family traveling together. So I turned on my nano ipod my beautiful eldest daughter had given me for Christmas and MJ’s voice told me “You Are Not Alone.”

Flying out of very warm Los Angeles with a short stop in Toronto, we flew through the night and into overcast, chilly, rainy Montreal arriving early in the morning. Bleary eyed from lack of sleep I trudged through the airport to find my transportation to the hotel where I knew a luxurious, warm room was waiting for me. Trying to save a few dollars I first tramped down to the aero bus where the friendly Canadian bus driver with the French accent informed me that he could only drop me a few blocks from the hotel not at the hotel. Envisioning the reality of my directionally challenged past where I have been lost endless times even on foot I weighed the extra cost as nothing compared to being delivered directly to the door of my hotel in a strange city, braced myself against the chilly rain and turned to make my way toward the taxi line, placed myself in que for the next taxi all the while hoping very much it would be a warm heated ride. Taxi after taxi lined up. Regular cars, nothing special... just typical road worn taxis. There I stood in my So. Cal. sandals, shivering but waiting patiently. Then the valet called me over and waved in my taxi. Up pulled a shiny, new, black Lincoln Towncar. I looked around wondering if this was ‘my’ ride. The valet smiled at me saying, “Here’s your taxi!” and opened the door for me. The driver jumped out and loaded my luggage then he spirited us away to the hotel in style and comfort. I settled into the warm, soft black leather seats and wondered to myself yet one more time... “How can this be?” All the while thanking the Lord for the never ending blessings He showers over my life. The Lord always knows the smallest desires of our hearts and LOVES to bless us with them like any loving father loves to bless his children and see their joy. For me my life is ‘nothing’ without the Lord and all things come from and through Him. Thank you Father. I smile contentedly as I enjoy the safe, warm, comfy ride through downtown Montreal.

Henry is my taxi driver. He speaks French and English just as many who live in this beautiful city. I soon find out he is originally from Paris, France and moved to Montreal 23 years ago and goes back to Paris frequently to visit his family. As my eyes are drawn to the landscape of the city I gasp, amazed at the beauty of a church with an incredible steeple, which to me looks more like a cathedral. Henry laughs and says,“In Montreal there is a church on every street, sometimes even two or three.” He is jovial and kind and I respond with “How wonderful. I hope everyone attends. This is a very good thing.” He laughs and shrugs “Many, many” and tells me that Montreal is predominately Catholic, which brings a sense of identification with my roots. I begin to snap pictures of many cross topped steeples as we pass them. Then realize there are far too many to capture so I just sit back and relax. As we drive I learn that even in Canada the gas is about the same price although sold by the liter, there is still mind numbing traffic which isn’t nearly as irritating when you are being driven by someone else, there is also graffiti just like in L.A. but just not as much, homeless still take shelter but here I see them at the foot of statues in front of churches, KFC is popular although they call it PFK for the French translation, Pouille Fried Kentucky. I feel a certain nostalgia when I see AandW drive ins still exist here and 80’s music is still very popular. Then the conversation returns to the beautiful churches in Montreal as Henry explains that across the street from my hotel is a church built, as Henry explains it, as “An exact Xerox copy only smaller” of St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. I just love architecture and learn quickly as I view Montreal it is a wonderful organic mix blending the old and the new. The shining bright mirrored skyscrapers pointing skyward next to neighboring brownstones along with centuries old stone church spires and copper crowned church domes nestled comfortably in between. I make a promise to myself to do some sight seeing.

We finally arrive at the hotel, the Marriott Chateau Champlain, smiling Henry pulls the Towncar up to the door, calls the valet, unloads my little piece of luggage and drops me at my destination for a surprisingly low flat fee. I wave goodbye, enter the doors, check in, and gaze around at the most beautiful lobby, appointed with big over stuffed, tapestry covered, wing backed furniture. Above me set in glimmering gold gilded ceilings are the most beautiful flower shaped crystal chandeliers which show off the dark warm wood walls and trim. Beautiful tapestry carpets cushion my feet as I walk to the elevator. Quickly I make my way to the private room assigned to me. Weariness has now settled over me as I open my hotel room door and am greeted with the most beautiful accommodations. The first thing I notice is the king size over stuffed bed and thick down-feather filled comforter, they are calling my sleep deprived body to rest; however instead I am drawn to the view outside my bay window over looking the city. I abandon the tight hold I have on my luggage with relief and turn my attention to the breath taking view. I stand and drink it in... entranced. Truly God knows what I love... and before me He lays out a gift for my eyes and heart. The most gorgeous time worn, green copper domed church, adorned with green copper statues of many saints, incredible statues, ancient stone craftsmanship, giant wooden doors set in place with incredible hand-forged metal hinges. I can barely take my eyes away but then on the opposite side of the street yet directly below me is another church made from ancient stone whose delicate stone carved spires clearly have weathered much time. Here this lovely church steeple resembles a castle and houses a clock and church bell which rings on the hour and half hour. Then I notice a beautiful park directly beneath me. I quickly forget how weary I feel. The rain has subsided, the clouds part allowing the sun to shine as if in perfect timing to my deep desire to see more of this beautiful architecture up close.

I have long ago learned that ‘time’ in the world of Michael Jackson fans can be irrelevant to the experience so I stop to fortify myself with Starbucks which I am grateful to know exists here in Montreal. Eagerly drink down my favorite energy concoction to warm myself and to prepare for what I know may prove to be a long night centered around much MJ love and Cirque excitement. I quickly make my way down to the street, the brisk air hurries me along to see all I can of the sights in a short window of time before meeting up in the lobby with those invited to this special event. Inside this amazing church I am not disappointed. My catholic upbringing, which I left behind as the result of divorce and a need to find a spirit filled healing, rises to the surface and a sense of awe surrounds my heart. The ornate adornments of the altar and ceiling murals, the beautifully sculpted statues and stations of the cross, the smell of burning, offering-prayer candles, detailed, stained glass windows, giant sea shell holy water fonts, the baptismal room.... all of it pulls me in. A place of worship to the God I love. So beautiful... with standing time... still giving peace, guidance and comfort to all who enter the doors. The workmanship and craftsmanship.... for me... art at it’s best. This is the replica of St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome that Henry has told me about, Basilique Marie-Reine-Du-Monde Cathedrale. As my footsteps echo along it’s marble floors I feel as though I am simultaneously seeing history in Europe as well. An amazing feeling. Gazing at the art, the sculpture the very ornate gilding I think how much Michael would have loved this place and how fitting it is to be here to experience this myself, to be standing in this particular spot on the globe at this particular time. Another blissfully, divine appointment for me from my most loving Lord.

I am enthralled and cover every corner and vestibule inside the cathedral twice then move outside to take in the beauty of the entrance one more time before quickly moving on... because I still want to see St. George’s Church on the opposite corner before meeting the group I have traveled all this way to join. Walking on paths intertwined within large patches of freshly rained on grass, happy pigeons feed on seeds totally unaffected by my presence. Hurrying along these pathways I find the peace that fills this place a stark contrast to the bustling work day city. This peaceful sanctuary is home to amazing stone statues and a huge cannon commemorating a by gone victorious war and leader. There under green emerald tree canopies the sound of the cathedral bells greet me before I see the church itself and guide my way. Soon I am looking up lost in the beauty of this magnificent little church. The sound of the ringing church bells fills my ears, heart and soul triggering many fond childhood memories, creating a deep longing for the loving touch and smell of my mother and father. I slow down now to take in the beauty of the stone carvings and spires. This church is older, more delicate and under repair and I am unable to enter, still it’s beauty does not escape me and wonderful memories flood to mind of a church I attended with my parents in Virginia when I was child.

Not wanting to be late, with a twinge of panic and anticipation about the initial meeting of the fans, I return to the hotel lobby and find in excited anticipation for the evening’s events I am still very early so I wander the hotel exploring to see what it holds and down a stair case I discover an incredible French dinner hall with beautiful, crystal chandeliers and incredible thick, red-velvet, stage curtains pulled back and held with thick, gold cording and tassels, reminiscent of old Paris. Then I retreat to the comfort of my room to freshen up. Soon though again I can’t contain myself and return to just sit and wait in the luxurious over stuffed lobby chairs.

Finally others arrive and soon all are present consisting of 15 fans total. There are many hugs and hellos. I make new friendships and recognize some from online; happy to meet them personally. This is simply huge. Unprecedented. Never before have MJ fans been included in such a meeting. A handful of fans from around the world have been invited by the Estate of Michael Jackson to view and critique one of the final rehearsals of the Michael Jackson Immortal World Tour. I purchased my ticket for the show at Staples Center in Los Angeles almost a year ago and have been patiently waiting until Jan. 2012. Yet here I am in Montreal and within hours will view it before anyone else in the world. Again I shake my head and say, “How can this be?”

France (pronounced Franz), our tour guide from Cirque arrives in the lobby. She is filled with a fun exuberant spirit and lots of Cirque du Soleil energy. She escorts us to view the MJIWT for the first time. I am very happy to learn many who knew and loved Michael are working in this show and some attend today’s rehearsal. I have known now for some weeks I would be attending this event and have done research online learning the names and faces of those involved. I am very pleased to have learned that Jaime King is the writer and director of this show. He has worked with Michael on many occasions and his heart is to present this show in Michael’s true spirit. Along with Jaimie are many others who worked with Michael Jackson. This group of uber talented individuals LOVE, honor and respect Michael Jackson. These are people who took part in his tours, danced with him, created with him, some even have worked with him since he was a child. I have learned many names and titles and am eager to see and meet who ever I can. These are special people whose admiration and respect of Michael Jackson has inspired their own careers and lives. They openly talk about how they have learned from the master himself. Michael’s talent spilling over into their lives inspiring them to become the best they can be. I am excited to hear and see how Michael’s love, creativity and talent lives on through them in this incredible show. This is the real deal, the ‘Real Tribute’ that I have been waiting to see take place for Michael. A tribute where Michael’s music and voice DOMINATE the entire arena and only homage to his excellence is shown to him and his legacy.

This is also the first time ever that Cirque has used a live band. Kevin Antunes has masterfully taken his access to Michael’s masters and remixed them and along with the live band make way to incorporate Cirque du Soleil's magic. The result is simply phenomenal! The incredible band consists of Band Director, Greg Phillingaines and also Michael’s drummer Jonathan “Sugarfoot” Moffit and many more incredibly talented musicians including a new 19 year old guitarist, an amazing young lady discovered by Greg Phillingaines on You Tube. Some how I feel Michael would be very impressed with her. She is on fire!

We enter the arena as elite visitors to this rehearsal, specially invited to view and give our opinions, our take on how accurately Michael is represented. This respect is not lost on myself or the other fans. This is a ground breaking request by Cirque du Soleil and the Estate of Michael Jackson and we are honored to be here. In their desire to do justice to Michael Jackson and give the world of MJ fans what they feel Michael deserves, a true honorable tribute of excellence, the creators of MJIWT have invited 15 fans to view the show and give honest in put and ideas on how to achieve just that: Excellence for Michael Jackson. No cameras, phones or even note book paper and pens are allowed. It is all super secret. Before the preview of the rehearsal and while we wait for the show we are given an over view of the nights event, treated to dinner, and then later waiting in the arena we are introduced to the Talauega twins who danced with Michael on tour, Kevin Antunes the genius behind the remix of Michael’s voice and music for the Cirque MJIWT, performing dancers from the show who love to pay homage to Michael and then finally Greg Phillinganes, the musical director and band leader who performed and toured with Michael Jackson. Each promising us their commitment to honor and respect Michael in all they do. Telling us they knew him and will always love him and pay him the highest respect he deserves. I can feel and hear their heart and I see the love and heartfelt honesty in their eyes. They have won my trust, all our trust.

Like in all rehearsals there are delays....as Michael said, ”That's why we call it rehearsal.” However it is simply beyond amazing to be a fly on the wall for the whole process. This is a gigantic show with a huge 'Giving Tree' at center stage which anchors the show throughout and comes apart at different stages of the show. We are told this show is so big it will take 60 semi trucks to transport it from city to city. During a break and while some kinks were being resolved the fans went as a group for water and to stretch their legs. I did not want to miss a minute of my fly on the wall experience, so I stayed glued to my seat, just watching all these incredibly talented music elite gather below me talking and laughing. How often will I ever get to see Kevin Antunes, Greg Phillinganes, Sugar Foot and others ‘shoot the breeze’ clearly reminiscing and sharing stories while standing on the arena floor in front of me. The dancers waiting in full costume displayed incredible, super human moves and I wonder to myself "If that is what they do to stay limber and warmed up then how much more spectacular will they be in a live performance?" Some dancers and performers continue to stretch and warm up on the floor mat directly across from the reserved fan section where I sit until rehearsal starts. Directions are given by John Branca from the Estate during the delay and while the fans have left for break “Make sure not to start the show until the fans return” which displayed to me our presence and opinions were valued by him and those in charge and Michael’s LOVE of his fans is clearly being honored.

The Talauega twins were chatting and sharing moves with dancers from the show and clearly reuniting with old friends as they openly embraced others. The entire feel of all those involved beyond striving for absolute excellence is LOVE, respect, and appreciation for others in a supportive family environment, they are a family. I could feel Michael’s LOVE... L.O.V.E. spread around the arena even before the show begins. Pats on the back, hugs and openly supporting one another in friendship, smiling, laughing, sharing dedication and love of their craft. Some from the Estate who are not part of the actual show openly sing Michael’s songs, Dangerous and Bad, out loud. I smile big and laugh out loud as clearly only their love of Michael's music carries their tune, reminding me of myself. I want to sing along but shyly acquiesce saving myself the embarrassment.

This is SO clearly a very Michael atmosphere. I am pinching myself and wishing Michael were here for all of this. Before leaving for the arena it was shared that Michael was in talks with Cirque du Soleil about his own Cirque show and just loved the magic, visuals and imagery of the Cirque circus. He had attended many different Cirque shows for many years especially, The Beatles LOVE, which was one of his favorites.

Finally the fans have returned, the kinks are worked out and the show begins. Michael’s music and voice fill the arena with absolutely amazing clarity. The magic and wonder of all that is Michael Jackson coupled with the magic and wonderment of Cirque du Soleil erupts in an explosion of activity and lights, a perfect marriage of fantasy and genius right on the stage before us. I laugh and cry and travel to places where Michael’s heart lived and breathed. I am over whelmed. I cry several times and laugh out loud in other places. The magic grabs me from the very beginning and I can’t take my eyes off what I am seeing. A plethora of Michael’s songs, one after the other fill my senses, his vibrato full and strong, his voice pulled out and superseded above all other sound at times, effortlessly and masterfully flowing, singing, speaking. Michael’s spirit fills the arena, Michael’s heart is present in this giant room. Unmistakeable LOVE, Honor and Respect flow from the creators, including the Estate, the Cirque du Soleil production team, the dancers and performers on the floor, stage and in the air, the technicians and staff. You can see it and feel it in every move. There are performers simply everywhere at times, yet there are more quiet moments that are no less sensational. At times there is so much happening I don’t know where to look. An hour and a half later the show ends and we are all Speechless.

The Estate team comes immediately to us for our perceptions and opinions. They ask, we honestly speak and they listen. As fans we see things maybe others don’t, we are more sensitive to things others may not know about Michael. They are aware of this and this is why we have been asked for our opinions. It is simply Amazing and Phenomenal! They have captured Michael! We all seem to agree that only a few changes and minor adjustments are needed. We are told to sleep on it and digest what we have seen and we will gather for a brain storming session in the morning. I return to my room, very tired, but blissfully happy and content to know deep in my heart that where ever in this world it is about Michael Jackson’s true heart and soul...I am always at home.

The next day we meet again in the lobby to climb on board a shuttle to take a tour of Cirque du Soleil headquarters and campus. We are given a tour of the main building and learn that Michael himself walked these very same hallways and stairs casting those beautiful brown eyes on the very same rooms we are visiting. This is simply an amazing place dedicated to art, creativity, the environment and helping the needy. All sounding very familiar to the qualities of the man we all know and love. I can clearly see Michael's excitement and interest in Cirque, see his creativity and wonderment light up as he walked these halls. Especially when he visited the costume room. A story is shared that when Michael visited Cirque and took the same tour we are on he entered the costume room and stayed for four hours. He did not want to leave until he saw everything. He became so excited with each new costume he was like a kid in a candy store saying, "Oh please may I see that one. Oh look at this one and that one!" Over and over until he saw everything he could. How he must have loved the hat room. There are specific rooms for every thing. There is a Hat room, Shoe room, Costume room, Accessory Room, Mold Room. In all the rooms everything is made from scratch. In the Costume, Hat and Shoe Rooms costumes are made for each performer to their own personal specific measurements. In the Costume Room the material is actually hand painted for each costume. While we were present in the costume room we saw artists actually painting designs on to blank white material. We learned that this is the process for each and every costume. This way no one will have a duplicate costume anywhere in the world and Cirque owns the rights to each costume. While watching this process we noticed there was a Michael Jackson, Billie Jean with fedora, full size cut out present in the costume room which I just had to go out of my way to stand next to. The entire process in every room is absolutely fascinating!

A row of head molds line the walls as works of art near the mold room. Every performer who has ever worked for Cirque has had a mold made just like the one Michael had made for Thriller. I imagine he would have completely understood this process having experienced it first hand twice for Thriller and Ghosts. We are told today the painful process Michael went through no longer is practiced and all molds are made with measurements taken via computer. Again it is absolutely fascinating!

The Cirque headquarters was purposely built in the outskirts of Montreal in the poorer area for two reasons. First, to stay true to the essence of circus history where circus tents were always set up on the outskirts of town. Second, so they could help revitalize the poorer community on the outskirts of Montreal. Beyond the fabulous magic, creativity and wonderment of Cirque you can see Michael's attraction to this amazing organization. Much like Michael they reach out to those in need. The founder of Cirque du Soleil started the project “One Drop’ campaign to help the poor and starving in the world gain control over their lives by bringing water to drought stricken poverty filled regions of the world.

"We all drink from the same well. Water is our common bond, uniting us as human beings and as citizens of this planet. And yet, while this precious resource flows abundantly in some parts of the world, in others, water or lack thereof is a source of poverty and sickness. Every year, more than 3 million children die from water-related causes. Isn't that a sufficient reason to act?" by Guy Laliberté, founder of Cirque du Soleil. http://www.onedrop.org/en/foundation/guy-laliberte-dream.aspx

Cirque du Soleil Corporate Building, Montreal Canada
Cirque du Soleil was started originally in France in 1984 by two street performers, Guy Laliberté, and Daniel Gauthier. Cirque shows combine the magic of the circus with a story line without the use and abuse of animals.

We are shown a special building which is home to many of the performers and their families and also learn that the families go on tour with the performers and even baby sitting is provided. This is the most amazing and successful company who truly cares about it’s employees, the community and the environment. Very Michael!

Our collection of MJ Fans from around the world stand in front of the "Shoe" and behind them is the housing quarters for performers and their families. Next to me stands Jeff the head of the MJ Online Team from the Estate.

The employees at Cirque are encouraged to create all types of art. Their artistic endeavors are hung on the hall walls and are intriguing and beautiful. Walking down the hall ways is like visiting an art gallery or museum and I could just envision Michael taking extra time to look closely and appreciate each picture, sculpture, painting and work of art displayed. We sat in the Cirque main conference room which had windows over looking the trapeze, ropes and trampoline practice area and enjoyed breakfast with those in charge of MJIWT, John Branca and Karen Langford from the Estate, Stéphane Mongeau; Cirque MJIWT Executive Producer and Chantel Trembley; Cirque Creative Director, as well as Jeff Jampol, Gayle and Ashley from the MJ Online Team. We took part in a brain storming session and shared our critiques of the show from the night before. The music and the band is simply beyond amazing and gets a 100% approval from all of us. They answered questions, listened and made notes about our thoughts and ideas. They were interested in what we had to share. The show was simply amazingly stunning; however they took to heart the points discussed. In fact they had already made adjustments and changes based on what was shared with them the night before. Unprecedented, this type of meeting has never taken place before. Amazingly exciting! Ground Breaking! The discussion was lively as are all Michael Jackson discussions in the MJ fan world. Some differ in opinions but what is perfectly clear is the passion and love for Michael Jackson along with the desire to keep his LOVE alive. Also very clear is the desire to pay great homage to Michael Jackson and the commitment to excellence that he himself gave to all he created. The desire to carry this same level of excellence forward is very evident with all those involved in this amazingly BRILLIANT show. I am very excited about the Las Vegas opening and Fan Fest when we will see the ever evolving final version and see some of our ideas shared with the world. It is a wonderful feeling to be listened to and heard. They heard us! They get it!

As I write this glancing out the window high above the earth on my trip home the sky glows orange as the sun sets somewhere over the United States. I feel closer to Michael up here.... closer to heaven. I just wish with all my heart that Michael were here to see this beautiful show become a reality. To share his own thoughts and ideas for I know he must have had many, many more amazingly spectacular ideas for his own Cirque show. Ideas only his genius could perceive. Unsurpassed and unequaled, it is unimaginable what he would have had in mind with all his cutting edge visuals and effects. We as fans only know what we have seen him already do and insist that genius be portrayed respectfully and beautifully which is exactly what the Michael Jackson Immortal World Tour achieves. I just wish Michael was here to share his own ideas and give his final nod. Michael, I wish and pray with all my heart you are looking down from heaven to see your dream come to fruition.

LOVE Lives Forever! WE LOVE YOU MICHAEL!

9/20/11 Update from the Estate and Cirque:

"As the Estate and Cirque stressed during your visit, this is very much a work-in-progress and there continue to be changes made to all aspects of the show - not only the music. There are various reasons for these changes – some creative, some because of clearance issues and other reasons. For example, as a result of the rehearsals that have taken place since your visit, “Cry”, “Breaking News”, “Monster” (though a portion of 50 Cent’s rap may be used), and “Off The Wall” are now no longer in the show. “Man In The Mirror” has moved, and “Threatened” has been added, as has an additional use of “Bad”. Some of the routines you saw have also been changed including, for example, “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’”. And more changes are expected."

Fans gather at the Hotel and then leave for the arena conference room and to view the show.

Fans gather in the conference room at the arena and are briefed by John Branca, Stéphane Mongeau, Karen Langford and the MJ Online Team.

Fans enter the arena and prepare to view the MJIWT for the first time.

Fans meet some of the Pros who have worked with Michael Jackson:

Fans meet Greg Phillingaines, musical director:

Keven Antunes and Greg Phillingaines:

To purchase tickets for the Las Vegas Premier and Fan Fest on Dec. 3rd or to see MJIWT in Las Vegas this is a great site to purchase tickets.
http://www.michaeljacksonfanfest.com/

Michael Jackson Immortal Tour Las Vegas Fan Fest link:
http://www.ticketmaster.com/promo/kavr5b?dma_id=

Michael Jackson Immortal Tour Cirque du Soleil tickets across the U.S.A. Includes a video by Jaime King.
http://www.cirquedusoleil.com/en/shows/michael-jackson-tour/default.aspx

Back To Why!

2011-08-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

"We need peace, we need giving, we need love, we need unity." ~ Michael Jackson ~

"To be silent in the face of injustice is to be an accomplice to evil. I will not be silent." ~ Lori Berenson ~

Something has been weighing heavy on my mind and heart, haunting me, this last month since the two year anniversary of Michael’s death. During the week of the anniversary of Michael’s death there were so many activities and events, so many wonderful MJ fans, who are now friends to me, who came to Los Angeles strangers one day and friends the next. Our hearts bonded in LOVE and grief over this amazing human being, Michael Jackson, who was torn from this world, Gone Too Soon. There were several moments in June where I felt God’s hand on my life and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was where I was supposed to be just at the moment God chose me to be there, my divine appointments. Each time it was clear to me why, except for one. There was one moment when I wondered out loud, “Why? Why Lord? Why did you put me here? For what purpose?”

At first I decided I wouldn’t, just couldn't share that moment on a public blog and then it seemed I needed too. Suddenly it became important to share it. So much so that it began to weigh on me, I couldn't get it out of my mind. I kept pushing it away but it kept coming back, haunting me. The first thing I saw and thought about in the morning was that day, it has replayed in my mind over and over. Finally I reached out to the only person who I knew felt exactly what I felt that day, the only person I knew I could discuss the day with, who understood because she walked hand in hand with me as it unfolded, my wonderful friend Robyn. She agreed that I needed to share as I felt directed. We hadn't really talked at depth about that day or those moments, since it happened until now. As we discussed the particulars of our shared moment in time I felt a stirring in my soul as God began to show me why. I may never fully understand with my finite mind all of it but at least I have a glimmer of WHY.

As we talked the Lord brought to my mind a picture of the billions of people who populate this earth... seemingly endless billions. What am I in those billions? Just one little human being, minuscule, like grains of sand on the beach... billions of grains of sand, just one grain of sand among the others. What are the chances in time and space for that person out of billions... really those two people out of billions, myself and Robyn, to end up together where we ended up that particular night?

Only God can create that connection, that divine appointment. WHY?

We were happy to be spending time together. We met and joined forces on our Michaeling adventure. We were on our way to not just any Michael Jackson event but the preview of “Michael's Thriller Jacket” which was up for sale at Juliene’s. This sale broke our hearts but it was also our one and only chance to ever see Michael’s Thriller Jacket in person, as well as many other Michael items, like his glittery Billie Jean shirt from Motown 25, worn the night Michael birthed his stratospheric stardom, and the pointy black shirt from Michael and Janet's Scream video... all up for auction. Soon they would be sold, gone forever. It was very sad... more and more of Michael's belongings dispersed to unknown places around the globe. No longer his, no longer the children's. Yet with all Michael Jackson events since his death there was also joy in the air that over shadows the sadness. For you just simply can’t think of Michael and not feel the joy and beauty he brought to this world, brought to those billions of people in this world. Michael was so very special, so gifted, chosen by God to be the modern day musical messenger of LOVE to those billions of people. Michael was no grain of sand. He was chosen before birth to be special, anointed with a talent and tender heart of LOVE not given to others ever. NO ONE, simply no one else has ever accomplished all that Michael accomplished in his life. Not even the masters he studied for they did not live at the time when jets flew to all corners of the earth and literally hundreds of thousands would fill stadiums night after night to see the master at work. They did not live in the technological age Michael lived. God chose him for this space in time to fulfill a purpose and Michael Jackson did not fail, but greatly succeeded beyond anything ever seen on this earth before, nor will ever be seen again. For me there is no wonder at all the small minded men of little or no vision could not understand Michael Jackson. He was created from the beginning of time for a greatness that they could not and do not still comprehend.

So there we were, Robyn driving and myself shotgun, all dressed up for a cocktail party preview at Juliene’s in Beverly Hills. We were excited and our emotions were wavering between sadness, anticipation and joy as Michael’s voice filled the car and carried us effortlessly onward. It was L.A rush hour and wanting to avoid the freeways to ensure we would arrive on time, Robyn decided to take the side streets. I only had a general idea of where Wilshire lay over the hill and was no help, since I am directionally challenged. I always find where I am going; however it's usually by way of the less scenic route, so I was utterly no help at all as a guide. She however had a general idea of where to go until she found her self at a quandary unsure which way to turn at the light we were sitting at. As the light changed she decided to quickly pull into a fire station on a corner to verify we were headed in the right direction toward Wilshire Blvd. I have had to stop many times in my Michaeling adventures to ask directions and love to meet new people in the process but this was one time that looked to be particularly entertaining as there were several good looking fire men standing outside the fire house, so I certainly wasn’t objecting to her decision. Hee hee! I very willing pushed the button and lowered my window as one of the firemen came over to the car, with a friendly banter he relayed the needed directions as he stretched out his arm, pointing the way down the road telling us we were on the right path, along with an encouraging, "You can't miss it!"

Robyn was smiling, thanking him when suddenly this stricken look came across her face as she pointed in the opposite direction toward the Fire House exclaiming, “BETTY! Look at the number on the fire house! It’s Engine House 71!” I looked and in disbelief said “What!? OMG! No Way!” The fireman looked at us with a puzzled look at first then in almost a whisper I said “Are you the fire house who picked up Michael?” Realizing we were MJ fans he said, “Yes, we are Engine House 71.” I felt my heart suddenly become so heavy in my chest. I was also so completely shocked to be sitting there in ‘that’ driveway... that particular driveway. All our joy came crashing down. We both sat there in the car cross wise in that Fire Department driveway with our mouths hanging open, unable to speak, unable to move. For me there were pictures I had worked so hard to get out of mind that were now glaring before my minds eye. Then shockingly as the fireman pointed in toward the end of driveway he said, “Pull your car up right here. I will show you the paramedic truck he was in.” Then pointing further inside the fire house said, “It’s parked right there you can take a look.” I looked where he pointed and there was the truck 71 with the doors wide open. We both looked at one another in shock as I barely breathed, “Should we? Should we?” Some how it didn’t seem right... could God want this to happen? A disbelief that this was happening hit me immediately as I thought what are the chances? I felt I was right where God wanted me. I believe there are no coincidences. We most certainly didn’t plan this, or seek out this moment in time. It had never in my wildest imaginations ever entered my mind at any time to visit the fire house that picked up Michael from 100 N. Carolwood Drive... most especially so close to the anniversary... only two days shy of two years ago. Was this God’s timing? I conceded to my heavy heart it must be.

Robyn pulled the car up where the fireman directed her to park. As she pulled on the emergency brake setting it firmly into place it felt as if she didn’t lock it just right we’d be beamed to some other world... we both looked at the emergency brake and then each other and said, “Ok I guess we're supposed to do this." Then I prayed a silent prayer, "God help us.” My feet were heavy as we climbed out of the car. Then as if in an out of body experience we were given a tour of the Engine House 71 Paramedic bus that rushed to Carolwood on that fateful day. We had no breath, we kept gasping, we moved slowly, taking in everything. Michael's words from ‘Keep Your Head Up’ tell it all... “Suckin up the air in the earth from under me.”

Why? kept running through my mind. All this equipment, all these highly trained professionals and they could do nothing? I needed to know, I asked him, “Was Michael already dead when you arrived?” Shaking his head he said, “Yes for sometime.” I continued, “Was there anything you could do?” He answered, “We tried everything we could and then the Dr. wanted him transported. The paparazzi took the last picture of Michael right through this window.” He proceeded to show us the exact location of the lens on the window and the angle of the shot. It all lined up with the haunting picture I had seen of both Michael and the call monitor screen inside the truck. “Then he said you can get in. Take your time. I’ll be right over here.” Again we looked at each other and whispered, “Should we?” Then like in a time warp we climbed in. As I looked down on the gurney as he was walking away I asked him, “Is this the gurney that Michael was on?” He said “Yes the very same one.” Then went off to leave us alone. I looked at Robyn and she was sitting in the chair closest to the cab, holding her hands to her face unable to speak, tears brimming in her eyes. It was only later I realized she was sitting in the chair of the Paramedic who was working the air bag for Michael on the way to the hospital. I wanted to cry, to sob, to cry out, “NOOOO This needs to change!!! This can't be real!! We need to turn back time!!” Then as I looked back down to that gurney I realized this... this very spot was the exact place... the last time the world saw Michael... right here. I gulped hard, swallowed the lump in my throat, my aching heart and my tears and before I knew what I had done I reached down and laid my hand where his head had lain that day almost two years earlier... trying... trying hard to feel him... to feel his presence. Wishing with all that was in me I could will him back to life. Wishing I could have been there that night to protect Michael from the evil surrounding him. I could not move, frozen in that spot, that place in time for several minutes my hand stayed riveted there where his head had lain. We looked at the monitor which had read those dreadful words, “100 N Carolwood Drive, 50 year old male not breathing at all.” It was surreal to say the very least. Then after what seemed an eternity we climbed out. I wondered again “Why? Why did we end up here? This place, this moment in time?” We thanked him for being so cordial and kind, for allowing us to take our time inside. Then continued on our way. We were different now and different ever since. The joy was gone that night and we just went through the motions. The reality of 'Why' we were going to the preview was heavy on our hearts. When I looked at the Thriller Jacket it of course was amazing but I could not shake the real reason it was up for sale, could not get it out of my mind that night or ever since.

I have to say I placed this experience on a shelf somewhere in my mind, refused to feel anything about it. Only shared it with a chosen handful and went on to enjoy a week full of the most amazingly wonderful and blessed moments, filled with so much LOVE. Finally after a full weeks worth of events in Michael’s honor, utterly exhausted I slowed down the pace and returned back to the daily catching up with friends on the internet and Face Book. It was then I have to say I felt a bit like Moses when he came down from the mountain top, glowing from the beauty he had just beheld to find tawdry ugliness. I flipped on my computer and opened up Face Book to find the most vile and horrid comments being made about Michael’s family and friends, and sadly as always the MJ fans fighting like rabid squirrels. I was so angry at first. How could they not see??? I thought out loud "What the Hell is wrong with these people?" I had just spent over a week surrounded by so much LOVE... so much joy.... even the people who disagreed with one another were loving and kind, agreeing to disagree. The reality of why we were even gathering together had hit me like a ton of bricks in that Fire House, completely grounded me.

I hadn't really thought in depth about the Fire House experience. I think truly I was afraid to think about it. It seemed macabre at best. Then this weekend it finally became real to me why I had been placed in that moment in time... as God would have it. He is always so to the point. Not complicated like humans... the purpose was simply to convey the reality of what happened to His chosen child, His messenger, Michael Jackson. Simply to share it.

The fact sadly, sorrowfully is the very thing that has brought us all together:

Michael Jackson is dead. He was murdered. He is gone. Gone forever. That Is IT! Pure and simple.

It isn’t about what Jackson is doing what, what tribute is happening or not happening, what betraying friend of Michael’s said what about what, or what one fan said or did to another. Sooo much ugliness. All of it means NOTHING! Absolutely NOTHING! It does not have one iota to do with why we are all gathered together connecting on the internet or at events. NONE of those things would be happening if Michael were still alive. The travesty is that he was murdered and there still has been No Justice for Michael Jackson. The reality is that he was dead long before the paramedics were even called. The reality is even when the paramedics were called still not one person in that room with Michael tried to effectively revive him. The fact is there are many besides Conrad Murray who orchestrated the death of Michael Jackson who are NOT being held accountable. I for one will NOT BE SILENT! I want to see justice served on every last slimy, greedy excuse for a human being that took part in the demise of Michael Jackson. I pray every day for this to happen and I will not stop until my dying breath. If Michael Jackson can be murdered, his estate, finances, belongings stolen out from under him with no questions... then... then... I am still at a loss of words as to the magnitude of the coldness, the evil, the cover up and greed.

All this made me remember the beginning... when I had first through my own research began to see that Michael had been murdered and it wasn't just Conrad Murray who was responsible and tied to his death. I was shattered by grief over Michael's death. I felt the call to go to the first court house hearing. I felt God wanted me there. I dug out that story and here I am sharing it again. I needed to reread that. That feeling, that reality of true evil that took Michael Jackson from this world is WHY! Why we need to mobilize, Unite and rekindle a mammoth fight for JUSTICE for Michael Jackson! Why we need to put all ill feelings aside and stand for JUSTICE for Michael Jackson!

After attending Conrad Murray’s first arraignment at the Airport Courthouse I wrote a story for the MJ-Upbeat website. Bonnie, founder of MJ-Upbeat, has run this wonderful website and has always loved and supported Michael Jackson through the years and kept her website running for MJ since 2003. I am posting the story below because I want everyone to read it and realize:

It’s Time! It’s time to lay all else aside! It’s time to get back to what it’s all about!
Get Back To Why!

It’s time to UNITE in PEACE! It’s time to stand again and demand JUSTICE!

The first day of court is Sept. 20th. If you can’t be there then pray. Pray for JUSTICE!

Start MJ Justice groups in your own towns and cities. Call the press and let them know!
Let the world know we will NOT forget, we STILL
and ALWAYS WILL LOVE and SUPPORT Michael Jackson, his children and his family.

We are NOT going anywhere!

We will continue to stand as Soldiers of LOVE for Michael Jackson!

What do soldiers do? They focus and they concentrate on the task at hand. Let go of the petty bickering, ridicule, judgement, backbiting, jealousies and futile, useless competition over meaningless things.

Focus on praying and standing for JUSTICE for MICHAEL. We are going up against Goliath’s stacked deck and only God can make that change... and I have learned that as Soldiers in God’s army prayers are important instruments of battle. Michael needs our prayers! I don’t care what group you are from or what level of misdeed toward Michael you believe took place... it all comes down to one thing... JUSTICE for Michael Jackson!

Come to the Courthouse, find a way to get there and stand UNITED in PEACE for JUSTICE for Michael Jackson on Sept. 20th. Let there be no mistake about WHY we are there...something very evil happened to Michael Jackson and we want JUSTICE.

We Are His Voice Now!

Sept. 20, 2011 Be There!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
February 14, 2010
Betty Shares With Us Her Moments At Murray's Arraignment February 8, 2010

A Day with Dr. Death

by Betty

A call to action for all MJ fans had gone out via the internet to protest against Conrad Murray’s Non Arrest. Fans were now making plans to rally and stand together in protest against the “Non Arrest” on arraignment day at the Los Angeles Airport Court House. I had been one of the thousands of people calling in and emailing to demand Conrad Murray’s arrest “in handcuffs” for the murder of Michael Jackson, seven long months after his death.

I had no idea that my decision to hold a sign and stand for Michael Jackson would turn out to be a spiritual experience for me. I began to doubt I should be there at all, so I prayed asking for direction. I was also hesitant to make the drive there alone. Fear and anxiety had loomed over me... but I wasn’t sure if it was the sickening feeling of confronting Dr. Death or the not knowing where or what I was walking into. Although the drive was more than an hour it seemed to pass in just moments as I sang along with MJ the whole way... but as I reached the end of the journey fear gripped me again. I was praying and asking the Lord to help me as I pulled off the freeway and on to city streets. Feeling not so sure that I would actually take part I sent up one last request for an answer, some sort of assurance that I was truly suppose to be there and… then so crystal clear over the loudly playing MJ music that is the backdrop of my life…I heard MJ's voice from This Is It. "It's an adventure. We're going to go places we've never been before, do things we've never done before." All trepidation lifted from me, joy literally filled my heart and determination took root. Instead I now NEEDED to stand strong as an MJ Soldier of LOVE.

Because of this experience and a few others I feel MJ is so truly in heaven with the LORD! The Lord confirmed it for me again that day as I heard MJ’s words ring in my mind. I now know beyond any shadow of doubt that MJ is with his heavenly Father.

I arrived to find news crews and media from all over the world everywhere. A plethora of cables, trucks, satellite feeds, antenna towers and people just everywhere. Picking up my step I forged on up the drive and as I approached the curve to the front entrance suddenly a police officer barked “Mammm!” I looked around for the Mammm and realized he was referring to me. Ha-ha!. The sheriff impatiently repeated “Mammm” adding “PLEASE move to the side!” I did a quick side step and turned my head to see and feel the heat from the front Jackson caravan SUV glide by me. SUV after SUV motored up the driveway to the court house. I tried to quickly raise my sign to show them my support. Heaviness began to fill my heart. I was to find out later that the 1st SUV was indeed Michael’s dark blue Escalade.

Quickly I sought out familiar faces and found my wonderful, loving friends from MJFSC (Michael Jackson Fans of Southern California Face Book Page) were there at the front line. Every where I looked fans from other websites and Face Book pages were there in support of Michael. Some famous faces and every day people like me. Many new found friends with one common thread of love that ties us inexplicable together. My friend Robyn says “Each fan is a thread of a large tapestry woven together in a shroud of love to protect Michael forever”. Before me were people of all races, nations and creeds, there to stand as Soldiers of LOVE for Michael Jackson, standing now for JUSTICE FOR MICHAEL JACKSON.

As I approached the front of the line, with sign in hand, where MJFSC friends stood, a sheriff deputy instructed me to stay back on the other side of the court yard. Signs were not allowed within 150 feet of the walk way. I stepped back a few feet and lowered the sign. I was given a red armband to wear by Heidi and we helped each other attached our arm bands. Moments later the Jackson family emerged from their cars. The entire court yard seemed to take a simultaneous breath in. It may have been me but it was suddenly VERY quiet in spite of the clicking, flashing and camera jockeying everything suddenly seemed to all move in slow motion. The air was thicker and the grief was palpable.

First Jermaine and his wife stepped out and began to move up the walk toward the building, and then Joe Jackson who stood and waited for his wife and family, Tito also waited at car side and extended a helping hand to his mother, Katherine. Then Jackie, Rebbie and Latoya emerged along with some of Michael’s nephews, family members and friends. Katherine stood waiting for a moment or two for her family to gather around her and then began the slow, painful walk to the courthouse to confront her son’s murderer. I had the feeling Michael was at her side.

Oh how he loved his mother. Perfection is how he described her.
There were some fans who cried out “We LOVE you Katherine”,
“We LOVE you Jacksons”, “JUSTICE for MICHAEL”.

About fifteen minutes later Randy Jackson arrived. At first everyone thought it was Conrad Murray and the energy level immediately shot up several hundred notches, then realizing it was Randy immediately another collective breath out. Randy stepped from his car looking fresh and sharp but clearly weary from grief. He too received the same encouraging cheers of “We Love You Randy”, “JUSTICE for MICHAEL”. Then while sitting in the courtroom on Twitter Randy told the fans: Sitting in court and I'm sad. Those profiting most from my bro’s death: AEG, Randy Phillips, Kenny Ortega, Estate Executors r nowhere in sight 12:17 PM Feb 8th

We all took to our posts to wait for Dr. Death to arrive and then 1 hour later a white SUV pulled up. Was it just a coincidence a white SUV taxied him to the courthouse? I remembered a white SUV many years earlier in a slow chase by the L.A.P.D. down the 405 freeway as O.J. ran for his freedom. Others made the same comment. If CM’s lawyers had planned to bring him in on a white horse the plan had failed in our eyes. It was a detail not missed by most. The energy level shot up. I felt sick. My skin was crawling. I have never ever felt anything like it in my life. There was a force taking over. I had chills; the hair on my arms was standing on end. My feet left the ground as I sprang forward toward him hoisting my sign.

The justice on this day was quite different from the harsh treatment Michael received in his lifetime. Michael was handcuffed, humiliated and drug off to jail and he was completely innocent. This man admitted to giving the fatal medication which killed Michael Jackson and Homicide charges are already filed. I am hoping that at the very, very least the sheriffs will have him in handcuffs. He however stays true to his deceitful self and emerges from the car with his hands behind him and I am asking everyone around “Is he in handcuffs?” Everyone is looking and acknowledging “Yes he is in handcuffs!” Then he reveals as he walks and swings his arms freely to the front and adjusts his suit jacket that he is not hand cuffed at all.

We the fans had promised the Jackson’s we would be dignified and handle ourselves respectfully and I for one tried very hard to follow through with that request and stay civil and calm but when Dr. Death walked down the path I simply HAD to scream MURDERER! MURDERER!! JUSTICE FOR MICHAEL!! Most all of us did! Some just yelled WE LOVE YOU MICHAEL! I guess that would have been the more loving and dignified thing but I just couldn't muster it.

Everyone could see him clearly. He is very tall. People began to talk about him openly. I was disgusted he was not handcuffed. Somehow for me if he would have been hand cuffed it would have been a sign that justice would be served. Seeing him walking freely spoke volumes to me and it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. The gravity of the injustice extolled to Michael Jackson in his life and I began to cry openly. I had my sign and hid behind it and sobbed for Michael. That is when a journalist from Japan approached and behind my sign asked if he could interview me. He was a kind, soft spoken man and told me in Japan, Michael has many, many fans, which I already knew but hearing him share it was comforting. He seemed to love Michael too. So I spoke to him about my feelings and why I needed to be there as I cried for Michael.

The media was interviewing all the fans. It was so crazy. Media frenzy at every turn. I called in sick so couldn't let my face be seen on TV but apparently when you want to hide from the pap they only get intrigued. I realize now that I may have ‘possibly’ looked like Debbie Rowe hiding with my blonde hair behind my sign. I think every one of us was interviewed by news centers and stations all over the world. TMZ and CNN ran live feed. I hid behind my poster most of the day until my son called my cell and said "Uhh mom, I know you don't want to be seen but you are on live feed on CNN right now and they are filming your face" So I gave up hiding and helped to hold up the JUSTICE banner too. I was very low key but was personally interviewed by Los Angeles, Japan, South American and Australian news crews; those I remember but there were more. I was dizzy there were so many. I declined many requests. Most especially ALL of the Channel 7 interviews letting them know it was because they hired Martin Bashir to cover this trial. Martin Bashir a despicable man who I also hold accountable for Michael’s death, as well as Tom Sneddon. They might as well have been in the room with Murray that night. It felt good to voice that I have boycotted channel 7 because of Bashir’s dirty, twisted documentary and untrue, salacious treatment of Michael Jackson. I am sure the reporters really could care less about not getting an interview with a nobody like me but it felt darn good to stick up for MJ and voice my opinion to someone from the ABC.

We waited for any news from inside the court room, as crew after crew photographed posters and banners and interviewed fans non stop for what seemed like hours. I lost all track of time. It was a complete whirlwind. I began to get a tiny glimpse at Michael Jackson’s life. The non stop paparazzi frenzy that followed him everywhere was really too much to bear. The delicate way you have to word everything so it isn’t misconstrued or twisted. So much disregard for personal space, wishes and privacy. My heart ached for him, his family, his mother and his children.

Slowly messages were passed from friends who won lottery tickets to sit in the courtroom. The DA was asking for $300,000 bail. Not enough as far as the fans were concerned. Then shockingly it was lowered to $75,000. That was worse but better than the unfathomable $25,000. First no handcuffs and then a drop in the bucket bail amount, we all wanted him in jail NOW. Then the biggest insult, the end to this day of so called justice is just so sad.

My stomach aches. My heart breaks. My tears flow.

The arraignment is over. The judge sent the case "for safety reasons" to L.A. court after a minor scolding. CM’s punishment for murdering the biggest, most beloved entertainer in the world is:

1. He is no longer allowed to administer propofol.

What? Wouldn’t an anesthesiologist and not a cardiologist administer propofol anyway?

2. Oh yes and the very harsh disciplinary action by the judge also prohibits him from practicing medicine in California. Oh yeah that’s right…hmmm… his practices are in Texas and Nevada.
3. He was ordered to surrender his passport.

4. The next court appearance is set for April, if continuances are not granted.

Like a hot potato the judge said good riddance to the case and sent it downtown. Slapped CM on the wrist and basically sent him out the door. He arrived with bail bondsman in tow... paid the bail and left, somehow smuggled out. A travesty!

MJ’s song “They Really Don’t Care About Us” springs to mind.

Let's all pray the next judge is an MJ lover or at least a lover of common decency and

true justice. In the end Michael’s family went out the back door and the paparazzi ran to the back to mob them and Katherine was practically crushed. I felt so badly for her having to go through such a terribly long and unbelievable difficult day.

Myself along with many other fans were rooted where we stood waiting for the press

conference to begin. Several fans who only met one another that day stood together to hold up banners and signs for “Justice for Michael”. We placed ourselves directly behind the
Conrad Murray’s defense team on a wall where we were visible during the conference.

They said something about “If the prosecution had any real proof of Conrad Murray’s guilt they would not have taken so long to bring charges." Our signs and chants calling for justice countered their typical hype and posturing.

Michael’s little brother, Randy Jackson, came out the front door, the same door he had gone in upon arrival and escaped most of the paparazzi. There was a sad and respectful silence in the courtyard as he walked through. Then shouts of “I Love You Randy”, “Thank You Randy”, “We Love You Randy” rang out. He very humbly waved to the fans and unceremoniously climbed in the front seat of the limo with his driver and they left. We waited and checked several doors but Conrad Murray was smuggled out.

Every time I picture those police officers huddled around Conrad Murray protecting him from the "fans" I just feel sick. How deeply I wish the fans could have protected Michael Jackson from Conrad Murray and so many others. I picture the raid on Neverland and the bruises on Michael’s arms. I am certain of one thing… NO ONE in this life gets away with murder…even if you manage to walk free on this earth. You will answer to the ultimate judge! Your evilness does not escape God’s eye.

I am feeling as if I will never stop, the world will never stop grieving the loss of Michael Jackson. Evil tried to stop Michael Jackson but has not succeeded. Will not ever succeed! Every fiber of Michael’s being was all about LOVE and even in death he is STILL spreading his L.O.V.E.

The tapestry of MJ’s LOVE grows more everyday as fans continue to connect with one another all around the world, brought together by Michael Jackson, and in so doing one of his greatest desires to unite the world in LOVE is being achieved.

What a legacy!!! What an incredible man!!!

Photo credit CowboyMJ Jackson MJFSC, Karlene Taylor MJFSC, Toby Canham/Getty Images, Fredrick M. Brown/ Getty Images,

- Betty

Posted on MJ-Upbeat February 13, 2010

---------------------------------

Thank you Betty!

"I will Forever Be Counting Backwards from June 25, 2009"
Betty Byrnes

Awesome Justice video which incorporates groups, by Robyn Starkand.

Please as you watch this video remember why we are all gathering at the courthouse and bring honor, respect and LOVE with you for Michael on Sept. 20, 2011. All differences and opinions pale in comparison to what happened to Michael Jackson on June 25, 2009.

LOVE Lives On! Gardner St. June 25, 2011

2011-07-24T19:59:00.000-07:00

There was a sense of joy in the air this warm summer day on June 25th, 2011. It always strikes me as so contrary to the sadness... this bittersweet feeling. The purpose of this event, this gathering of MJ fans from all over the world, on June 25th was to promote donations for William Wagener’s documentary which is intended to finally turn the tide and put Tom Sneddon in jail. A documentary which apparently will gather facts and garner the attention needed after all these years to expose the underhandedness, the lies and the laws Sneddon broke in his vicious vendetta against Michael. I pray this documentary is made and as a result former Santa Barbara D.A. Thomas Sneddon is finally no longer above the law but brought to justice.

Beyond this purpose was another even more important purpose for myself and many other fans, the celebration of a victorious fight which has brought honor and vindication to Michael Jackson... Uncover Michael Jackson's Name at Gardner Street Elementary School. Two Soldiers of LOVE from Michael’s Army, Jennifer Marino and Catherine Gross, were present at this event and each spoke. Their team worked very diligently with determined commitment to achieve this goal. I felt so elated to personally see with my own eyes the fruition of all the hard work of this team from Face Book “Uncover Michael Jackson’s Name (The Gardner St. School Issue Campaign). Many fans from all over the world, including myself, had joined in on this effort and signed petitions and also carried petitions in Hollywood for neighbors and local businesses to sign resulting in thousands of signatures in support of this cause. It was a successful community effort to turn the tide of negativity toward Michael Jackson. I know myself along with multitudes of others feel that the “Uncovering of Michael’s name” was a turning point in vindicating Michael’s name and public image from all the damage a slanted, greedy, slanderous media have unjustly heaped upon him even in death.

There were many great moments in this day starting with pulling into the school parking lot at Gardner, looking up and right there big and clear for all to see is Michael’s name gleaming shiny bright above the auditorium doors. The building has been crisply painted and the shiny, silver letters are clean and pristine. Rounding the school building on my way to the auditorium I see a mural of children and adults in silhouette holding hands which brings to mind Michael’s song "Cry" and under it the inspired artist penned the words, “ Rise from your slumber and remember who you are, the sky is not the limit when you're a STAR.”

The first thing you see when you enter the hallway which leads to the auditorium and main school office are framed pictures of the student’s art work. In these pictures they have artistically completed Michael’s portrait at different times in his life. Half of the picture is Michael’s photo and the other half they have drawn in the rest of his face. I love this so much and believe Michael too would have loved to have seen the children’s artistic endeavors, some are really very good.

There were many there that day lending to the festivities including SUNN, a young new artist, who sang a beautiful tribute to Michael she recently released. Larry Nimmer was present video taping the day’s events, also sharing portions of his video from the court hearing in 2005 which was instrumental in revealing the truth about Michael and Neverland for the members of the jury. This is now a documentary, "The Untold Story of Neverland." His narration was wonderful and the pictures of his recent visit to Neverland were captivating. Beautiful Tatiana from Michael’s video “The Way You Make Me Feel” was present. Majestik the Magnificent was the emcee. William Wagner spoke several times about his planned documentary. The realtor who sold Michael Neverland was present and spoke so highly and lovingly of Michael. There were several Michael Jackson impersonators, including Michael Kiss who amazingly ramped up the energy level and love in the room bringing great honor to Michael Jackson. Also the Michael Jackson bike which recently was shown to Prince and Paris at their home was present outside for fans to view first hand.

Hallway pic of children's MJ art projects c/o Debbie Jackson

The ultimate moment of the day though was when Thomas “Hurricane” Mesereau entered the auditorium. Mr. Mesereau was the main reason I was in attendance at this event. I had left my cherished visiting and paying respects to Michael at Forest Lawn to come to the school specifically to see Tom Mesereau. As he came in the back doors and walked down to the front the fans all flew to their feet and went wild with applause and cheers. My heart over flowed with love and gratitude toward Mr. Mesereau. Sitting in the end seat of the row I was thrilled to see him walking down the isle right by me. While enthusiastically clapping with all my might I heard myself yell above the cheers “THANK YOU for all you did for Michael!” and was ecstatic when he looked at me smiling, nodding in return, mouthed the words “Your welcome.” He was so gracious and humble. He truly is the greatest defense lawyer in the United States, an honor which he earned with integrity, humility and deep personal commitment to his daily fight for truth and justice; not just for Michael but for all his clients, a true rarity in today’s legal profession. Later to be sure my thanks were conveyed and as I posed for a picture with him, while standing in Michael’s classroom, I was able to look him in the eye and tell him personally “Thank you for all you did for Michael.” He said “Your welcome. It was my pleasure to help Michael.” Then he pointed and asked me if I had seen the display the children had arranged with the signed chalkboard preserved and framed behind glass. This was from the original dedication where Michael signed “Love the Children ~ Michael Jackson.” Below is my cherished picture with Tom Mesereau and just behind us is the chalkboard. Thank you so much, Sandy, for sending this picture to me.

Every where you look in this school which honors Michael so beautifully you are reminded of Michael’s spirit, his essence of artistic creativity and heart for children. I sat there in the audience in the original wooden auditorium chairs that Michael once sat in and felt Michael’s presence everywhere. I smiled as I glanced to the back of the room and attached to the wall were hundreds of butterflies the children had drawn and colored. Michael’s music played and beautiful brown skinned babies danced in the isles to Michael’s voice. The entire school is frozen in time, preserved just as it was when Michael attended. At one point in Michael Kiss’ performance I moved up closer to get a better picture and felt a rush of elation when I realized as I stood in between Tom Mesereau and Michael Kiss on stage that I was standing in what seemed to be the very same spot that Michael himself stood in when he attended the original dedication and listened to the children’s choir sing "We Are The World." I pictured his beautiful face and felt the joy he must have felt that day when he stated, “This is the happiest day of my life.”

After the last performance and the photos were completed I returned to the auditorium and took my seat only to be summoned away. I heard those words “Go to the principal’s office” and needless to say even after all these years they brought feelings of anxiety fluttering up in side me. I laughed loudly as I realized it was Michael Kiss who wanted to see me. I happily climbed the stairs I knew Michael Jackson had also climbed in his life and found my way through the corridors and entered the main office. I was standing waiting to talk to MK who was literally using the principal’s office as his dressing room, when above me on the wall a TV was running a loop of the school announcements. I stood there holding on to the cool counter as Michael's voice filled my senses. He was speaking, giving his acceptance speech, with that gorgeous smile saying the very words I had just earlier heard in my head. My mouth hanging open and covered in chills I realized that all day long, every day the children in this school hear Michael’s beautiful voice and see his face…what an inspiration Michael is for the generations that have been and are to come. I glanced down from the over head TV and standing before me was the man who made all this possible, the man who fought right along side the team of Michael fans, the man who went to bat with the board and pushed to bring honor back to Michael Jackson at Gardner St. Elementary School, Principal Urbina. I delightedly said “Principal Urbina you are the one who fought so hard for Michael! It’s so nice to meet you. I want to personally thank you for all you have done for him and getting his name uncovered. All the fans appreciate it so much. The school looks just great!” He said as we vigorously shook hands, “It was my pleasure. Thank you for coming today.” Then Michael Kiss’ team member stepped out and called me in to his dressing room. It was an amazing day filled with closely held surprises and many blessings.

Picture of the TV monitor in main office c/o of Debbie Jackson

Principal Urbina and the children in February 2011. Victory!

As the day ended many fans went outside to look at an amazingly crafted motorcycle, the Michael Jackson bike, where builder of this bike, Marcel “Porkchop” Miller, adorned the bike with many renderings of Michael through out his career. All the fans looked closely at his beautiful work and wished we could have a ride.

It was, as always, with most all Michael events a blessed day filled with LOVE about and for our beautiful Michael Jackson, our inspiration, the connector of hearts and lives around the globe. Michael’s wish for unity and LOVE around the world in action… his wish fulfilled one more day… proving truly that LOVE never dies. LOVE will always Live On in Michael's name!

Video of Michael Kiss by Larry Nimmer. Thank you Larry!

Video by Debbie Jackson. Thank you Debbie!

Greed Destroys - LOVE SURVIVES

2011-07-04T11:26:00.000-07:00

It is with great sadness...

That I remove / rewrite / update this post on my blog.

"Earth provides enough to satisfy every person's need,
but not every person's greed"

This post was made originally to support a cause "One Rose For Michael - Vaccinate the Children for Michael." I felt this was an amazingly awesome and worthy cause! Some thing so beautiful, something that fully honored Michael! Fans from all over the world donated to Sofie Stranberg from One Rose for Michael Face Book Page to raise money in Michael's name for UNICEF. I gladly supported and donated personally and asked fans from all over the world via my blog to support this cause in honor of Michael Jackson's 53rd birthday, August 29, 2011.

Sofie Stranberg from One Rose for Michael told us she was collecting donations to vaccinate children against disease all over the world via UNICEF. We were asked to donate just $2 per vaccine per child. Fans everywhere sent in their money and now it is gone, Sofie is gone and the children who desperately needed these vaccines will not get them. Nothing has been given to UNICEF, not one cent! In fact UNICEF has never heard of Sofie Stranberg or One Rose For Michael or the cause we were supporting.

Sofie had told us that we had raised enough money to vaccinate 5353 children. We don't even know if that is true at this point. All the fans who joined in the effort know is at least $10,000 has vanished because of greed, lies and selfishness. The very thing that stalked Michael his entire life is still here dogging his legacy of LOVE. I am beyond disappointed and very angry. I am angry at myself because I rarely ever donate to MJ Fan causes. I generally donate directly to organizations and charities. That way I know my money is going exactly where I intend it to go and receipts are provided for record keeping.

I apologize to each and every person who read my blog and donated to this cause. We were all duped. We were all lied to. My prayer is that the authorities track down Sofie and get the money back and it will finally go to UNICEF and the children. However since she has not been heard from since Nov. 17th and no one has been able to find her, not online, nor by telegraph or phone, or at her home, the chances of that are very slim.

Again I apologize for ever having promoted this cause. We must not allow the greed and dishonesty of a few to discourage us from reaching out with out hearts and wallets to help the children and other worthy causes. Michael was relentlessly besieged by liars and greedy scam artists from all angles his entire life. He never let their evilness dampen his spirit of caring and LOVE for the needy and hurting. We must not let this dampen our spirit of caring, but just learn from this and move on. Be wise in our donations and efforts to help others.

If you still would like to donate and know without a doubt that what you donate will truly help the children here are two links that will take you directly to beautiful, well known and established, trustworthy organizations: UNICEF and World Vision.

UNICEF - Home Page
http://www.unicefusa.org/?utm_campaign=MS%20-%20Brand&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=MSN&utm_term=unicef

World Vision - Adopt a Child Home Page
https://my.worldvision.org/

Beautiful Michael Singing "What More Can I Give?"

Excerpts: Heal The World by Michael Jackson:
" There's a place in your heart and I know that is love...
It only cares for joyful giving... Feel God's Glow...
If you care enough for the living... make a little space...make a better place
for you and for me and the entire human race.
In my heart I feel you are all my brothers...
There are people dying... if you care enough for the living...
make a better place for you and for me."